His Domain || A Pennywise Fan Fiction

Chapter One

How she’d gotten there, or even when she didn’t know. She’d been investigating, as usual, everything seemed to be going fine (even if literally everyone in this town was a creepy fucker) and then she was suddenly in…well it smelled like a damn sewer and if she had to guess that’s what it was. She just didn’t want to think about it because if she thought about it too hard not only would she panic but she’d vomit. Those were two of the things she didn’t need to do in the moment. She got to her feet feeling light-headed, maybe she’d been drugged and kidnapped. That certainly made more sense than randomly appearing here after being in the woods somewhere. It was a mistake coming here and she should have asked for reassignment days ago.

“There’s a logical explanation for this,” She muttered and felt around in her coat pockets until she found her phone. She switched on the flashlight app and shone it down the tunnel that was closest to her. Her phone wasn’t getting a signal in here but that wasn’t surprising either. Well, if she’d gotten into this place there was going to be a way out it was just a matter of finding it. That was it. If that didn’t happen she could just stay in the same spot until someone found her because people would definitely be looking. 

She couldn’t see any immediate ending to the tunnel but she headed down it anyway wishing she had something to mark which way she was going as she went but she didn’t. Oddly enough she still had her weapon in a holster on her hip so whoever had brought her down here was either stupid or not afraid of a gun, for some dumb reason. Then again, they may just be completely insane. From the stories, she was hearing or had heard, about some demon clown allegedly named Pennywise she was thinking that it was just a guy in a clown suit so terrifying and intimidating that people thought he was a demon. 

The thing about a small town like this was that it was overrun with religious nuts and superstitious folk. They believed in demons and monsters (as well as the bible) and so they translated these murders into a demon doing them. Who else would kill and possibly eat children other than a demon? To her, it could be nothing more than a mortal man who was incredibly mentally disturbed. Maybe like Gacy or something. Certainly, people referred to him as a demon enough but he was just a man. 

She took the vast majority of stories she heard with a grain of salt and interpreted them to the most logical possibility because demons weren’t real. Nor were monsters or clowns that lived in a sewer that was quite possibly the dumbest thing she ever heard. Ergo, if some clown came at her, then her gun would work just fine and this whole mentality gave her the confidence she needed not to panic, not to be afraid, and trudge on through the sewers in very uncomfortable high heels. 

“You don’t fear me?” A voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once. She looked up and shone her light around. It was an interesting voice, one of a man and maybe a child all at the same time. Reminiscent of the weird high pitched deranged tones she’d heard visiting various mental institutions over her career. That was strange but not enough for her to be scared, startled but not scared. 

“No,” She called back calmly. Even if she couldn’t see where the voice was coming from or tell, she was in a sewer it wasn’t like there weren’t a lot of areas from sound to come from and bounce off of and distort, “I’m not afraid of a man in a clown suit.” 

“But I am no man…” 

“Yeah right and I’m the queen of England,” She muttered and kept walking. Her guard was now up because he could clearly see her even if she couldn’t see him and she was getting prepared to fight if she had to. She slowly reached for her gun and removed it from its holster. Seconds after she had it in her hand she heard laughing or more accurately giggling. The most sinister, amused, and highly pitched laughter she’d ever heard. It was so loud and irritating she nearly lost her grip and dropped it but she took a deep breath to steady herself and her hold. She couldn’t deny that was creepy as fuck but it was just a crazy guy being crazy. 

“A queen in my domain?” He asked sarcastically. 

“A queen who’s going to catch you,” She snapped back angrily, “Show yourself. Now!” 

“And why should I do that?” 

“Because I fucking told you to, I’m a federal agent!” 

“I thought you were a QUEEN!” He mocked really drawing out the last word. She was now unnerved as well as irritated. Could they not just get this over with so she could file her report, close the case, and go the fuck home? “Are you not afraid yet?” 

“Why? Why would I be afraid? I haven’t even seen you yet!” She demanded. She was still walking and felt her hope pick up a bit as she believed she saw a light up ahead of her. One that would indicate she was nearly out of the tunnel. She sped up to get more towards it. 

“You’re going the wrong way…” He taunted in a sing-songy voice. She ignored it and continued the way she was going thinking that he was just trying to psyche her out. Soon enough, about 20 yards ahead there was definitely an exit. She smiled and shut her phone off, starting to jog towards it as best she could given that this was still a sewer and she was still in heels. About 50 feet before she’d have reached the exit a metal gate came down in front of her nearly smashing her skull and probably would have if she hadn’t possessed the reflexes that she did. She yelped and stumbled back, falling down completely. 

“FUCK!” She yelled. 

“That’s right, be afraid….” 

“I’m not afraid I’m annoyed and…well…startling someone with pointless things like that isn’t scary it’s just stupid.” She said realizing how insane she sounded herself essentially talking to nothing. She was more in the light now and she got up, feeling grossed out since she was in sewer water and it didn’t smell nice and now her clothes were soaked. She stepped towards the gate and put her hand on it trying to shake it. Test how strong it was. She glanced up and saw how the gate was positioned. This didn’t make any sense, how could it have slid down like that? It wasn’t built to do that it was built right into the cement. Was she losing her mind? Had she just not seen the gate before? Maybe she was still drugged from whatever had knocked her out enough to take her there. She pounded her fist on the metal bars angrily then turned around in a huff only to see him standing there. Not right there really,  but down the tunnel. His eyes appeared to be glowing and he was so huge he was nearly bent over. She raised her gun, her hand shaking just a bit. “Don’t move.” 

“What do you think that’s going to do?” 

“Kill you.” She replied. Though there was really nowhere he could have come from that quietly and that quickly she didn’t discount the possibility that he knew these sewers better than her and that gave him a huge advantage when it came to stalking his prey, “I’m not even a child this doesn’t fit your M.O.” 

“Trying to put me in a box?” 

“I’ll put you wherever the hell I want after what you’ve done.” She took a few steps towards him. He wasn’t moving so maybe she really did have him right where she wanted. He was just a very crazy and very tall man after all. Fuck that makeup was just awful she found that she didn’t want to look directly at him but also couldn’t pull her gaze away. “Hands where I can see them, NOW!” He shifted and took a step forward but no more than that before putting his hands up, looking overly annoyed with her as if he’d been through this a thousand times before. 

“And maybe I will do what I want with you.” He said once again the words were in a taunting tone, exaggerated, very sing-songy and eerie. The acoustics in this area definitely weren’t helping either. She shook her head as she tried to ignore it, her heart pounding even harder as she neared. 

“Yeah well I’d like to see you try,” She said, “The authorities don’t take kindly to crazy men who do anything to Federal Agents.” 

“I am no man,” He repeated as he had done the first time. 

“Yes, you are. You are very clearly a man. A creepy, nasty, unsettling man but just a man.” She insisted. It was a good costume, great makeup, and he was kind of huge, but nothing outside of the realm of possibility for a human male. 

“It’s not real. It’s all an illusion.” He taunted. 

“Yeah so are the bullets in this gun and the handcuffs I’m about to put on you.” She told him getting close enough that she was within striking distance, either for him to make a move or for her. He towered over her as she reached behind to grab her handcuffs from her belt keeping her eyes and the gun on him at all times. He just stood there not trying to do anything to stop her, something seemed off about this but she was going to take her chance while she had it. She reached up and grabbed his wrist about to snap the handcuff around it when suddenly she was against the wall with a very large and gloved hand gripping her throat. 

“What now?” He asked and then started laughing loudly. The same demonic laugh she’d heard before except now it was right in her face and it was quite honestly terrifying. She struggled against him, both of her hands coming up to his massive arm and clawing at the fabric of his very elaborate clown costume. “What do we have here?” He raised his other hand up he somehow had her gun but when he’d gotten it out of her hand she hadn’t a clue. 

“Let me…go…” She rasped he was allowing her just enough air to also allow her not to pass out but she didn’t know how long that would last. 

“You thought you could stop me with this?” He asked waving it in front of her in an exaggerated theatrical gesture. “Foolish human,” 

“I’m not afraid of you,” She hissed. It was only half true, only because she was more afraid she was going to die than of him and she still didn’t believe he was anything other than a crazy guy in a weird clown suit and makeup. He hadn’t done anything to convince her otherwise even if she also couldn’t explain how he got her in this position. He snarled at her with an absolutely inhuman sound his eyes meeting hers, starting to glow far more intensely almost blindingly bright. 

“You will be…” He hissed his tone dropping several pitches to a low demonic sound, “You. Will. Be.” 

Chapter Two

She woke up, again, second time that day, back in the place she’d initially started and the strange clown guy wasn’t there. Pennywise that’s what he calls himself. She shook her head and got back to her feet but this time she was missing her phone and her gun. Great. That only reaffirmed the belief in her mind that he was human. Why would he take the gun otherwise? He knew she could shoot him and he’d die. He’d still done nothing to prove that he was anything other than a mortal man. More than likely he’d choked her out and dragged her back here then taken her stuff. Including her trench coat. Now she was only in a tank top and her black slacks, which meant he took her blouse too. Not that she knew why. It was better than leaving her completely naked in a sewer she was sure of that. 

“Why are you not afraid?” She heard the voice again but not surprisingly she couldn’t find the source. She looked up where there seemed to be some light coming down, at least enough that she could see the rest of the room. This time it looked like the tunnel that she’d left through the first time around was sealed shut. Well, there had to be a way out of here if he got her in here and maybe that was the only one. She looked around until she spotted a metal bar that might be able to pry the door open and ignored him. Once she was back at the door she jammed the bar between the seam where it looked like it would open and tried to pry it ajar. She just needed it open enough that she could get through. 

“ANSWER ME!” The voice was downright demonic that time, and loud. It echoed off of the walls and it was enough to get her to drop the metal bar she was holding with a clang that was barely heard above that echoing voice. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She absolutely could not panic or she’d never get out of there. Maybe he’d never had a law enforcement officer down there, maybe he didn’t understand that the very nature of her profession taught her not to be truly afraid. It taught her to think. Stay rational and calm. Fear was not something that would be helpful. She definitely had an ability to be afraid, but in this fight or flight situation, she was more tuned into the fight part instead of the flight. 

“Leila….” He taunted as she bent down to pick up the bar again. Her immediate thought was to wonder how he knew her name but she had a badge in her jacket which had her name on it so that was easily solved. She jammed the bar back into the door and started to try to open it again. “LEEEEEEEILAAAAAAAAA.” 

“You know if you just told me what you wanted this would be a lot easier.” She sighed but didn’t stop trying to work. 

“Be afraid,” 

“I’m not afraid of tall men in clown suits so you might want to try harder.” She replied and kept working. 

“I know your fears. I taste them.” He said. 

“Really?” She asked, “Because my biggest fear is failure so I guess the only way you could actually scare me is-” She was cut off when the doors suddenly opened. Except they didn’t open into a tunnel they opened into what looked like a very dirty and old bathroom. She could only see this because of the light from the room she was standing in but she got the intense feeling that she knew this room for some reason. Her feelings were confirmed when the lights in that room came on, blinding her for a moment. She put her arm up to shield her face, trying to adjust to the lighting before blinking a few times and looking around. Mark was there, on the floor. His ankle locked to a chain wrapped around a pipe. 

“Leila….” Pennywise taunted. 

“I don’t know how you are doing this but this isn’t real,” She breathed. The best she could account for at the moment was drugs or she was still asleep after he choked her out. Two very real and likely possibilities. She’d had this dream, or rather nightmare, a thousand times before it always ended the same and it was never real. 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’ve had this nightmare a thousand times…” She whispered and took a few steps towards where Mark’s body was laying on the floor. He had been her husband and a notorious killer himself. Except, there was no evidence he was dead, and with lack of evidence to that conclusion she knew he couldn’t be. She constantly had dreams about going back to that basement and finding his corpse even though she’d been there a dozen times and found nothing so this was nothing more than a dream after possibly being drugged and her encounter with that stupid clown man was manifesting his voice. She was fine, none of this was real, Mark wasn’t really here and he wasn’t dead. It was fake. All of it was fake. “I’m sure this isn’t real.” She said only half confident because her nerves were frayed by that point but however, this trick was being pulled off it was not real. The room suddenly dissolved in front of her and went pitch black. Out of nowhere she was picked up by her throat again and lifted, carried that way back into the light. She found herself struggling and staring back down into the eyes of that damn clown. 

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMAN?” He roared and threw her as if she were weightless, slamming her back into the wall directly across the room. The air was completely knocked out of her, and her eyes started to water as she wondered how the fuck he had done that. Though she wasn’t a huge person, she certainly was not small, and despite their height and size differences, there was no way he was strong enough to do that. 

“This is a dream…this isn’t real…” She whispered as she gasped to take in more air, “It’s a dream…it isn’t real.” 

“I AM REAL!” His voice snarled from above her and she looked up to see him there. She screamed and scrambled back, her heart pounding in her throat. 

“You may be real but that doesn’t discount the fact that I may have gone insane or you drugged me or something!” She yelled back at him angrily. He snarled at her. Of course, the one thing she didn’t know or consider was the fact that she wasn’t getting afraid enough for him to draw any source of power from her. She’d certainly heard a lot of stories about this creature that allegedly lived in the sewers. Stories about how he fed on fear, something stupid like that. Not anything she believed but she didn’t know the stories were more truth than fiction. Her skepticism was saving her from him being able to do much more than play with her mind or actually take her the way he wanted to. He was weak, far weaker than he normally would be, and she had ended as a potential meal out of desperation for him except nothing was working. 

“I don’t have time for this,” He hissed. 

“Neither do I!” She screamed back, “Tell me what the fuck you want I’ll do that!” 

“Children…” He muttered. 

“Well, I’m not doing that…” She said though she couldn’t tell if what he meant was that he wanted to impregnate her or actually bring him a child. Either way, she wasn’t going to offer him anything like that. She didn’t care which one he was implying. 

“Running out of time!” 



“DO SOMETHING THAT SCARES ME!” She screamed at him. She was more irritated than afraid and she fully believed that she was arguing with a hallucination or a dream, not anything that could actually hurt her. “If I’m insane then none of this is real, if I’m asleep then none of this is real, and if I died in those sewers and this is some kind of afterlife you can’t do much worse to me anyway so if you’ll excuse me I’m going to keep trying to find my way out because if you were going to kill me already, I’d be dead.” She got up and shoved him out of the way, he gasped as if he was utterly offended by that. 

“You touched me,” 

“So what?” She hissed and went to find the bar she had before. 

“You truly believe that this isn’t real, don’t you?” He asked. 

“Yes, how could any of this be real it doesn’t make any sense.” She insisted. “My job is stressful, I’m trapped in a sewer, I don’t even know how long I’ve been down here I could legitimately be insane at this point and arguing with nothing I don’t know.” He made some kind of odd, animal noise as if this was very confusing to him. 

“You aren’t like the others,” 

“You mean the children you bring down here to torment? I’m sure they are much easier to terrify.” She said, “So I suggest you either kill me or…well…I’m leaving I guess?” She started laughing because this was the most ridiculous state of mind she’d ever found herself in. She had been wondering how long it would take for her to snap and this seemed to be the one thing that did it. Well, that was fine, she supposed a demonic clown hallucination following her around until the end of time couldn’t be too bad. There were probably medications to suppress it, antipsychotics, some kind of therapy. Suddenly she was pressed up against the wall firmly unable to move. She gasped and closed her eyes. Then she got just the faintest whiff of Mark’s cologne. 

“You left me to die,” That was unmistakably Mark’s voice. She gasped and looked up turning her head just enough to see that Mark was suddenly there. He stepped back enough to allow her to turn around. 

“No,” She said, “You didn’t tell me where you were Mark…I couldn’t find you I didn’t leave you anywhere you left me.” 

“Took you too long to get there.” He said. 

“No,” She said, “Fuck…fuck no this isn’t happening this isn’t real I am not doing this!” She screamed and then sat down and put her hands over her ears gripping her hair tightly. She didn’t know what was going on and if this was insanity it was more horrifying than she expected it to be, she had to calm herself down. She had to stop panicking and she had to get out of there. She was an FBI Agent, a good one, this wouldn’t break her…whatever it was she’d be okay. Things went silent and she slowly opened her eyes again. The clown was back. 

“You were aroused…” 

“What?” she huffed, “Don’t be stupid,” 

“When I had you pinned you…liked that?” 

“No, I wasn’t,” She lied, badly. To be fair she only liked that at that moment because she had thought it was Mark and then, of course, her brain started to work again and she’d snapped out of it but it had been so long since she’d smelled him, felt him pressed against her like that. Thinking about it really only aroused her a second time. “Stop it.” 

“Stop what?” He tilted his head to the side studying her as if she were a caged animal. In a lot of ways she kind of was. “I could take you as a mate before I sleep.” 

“What?” She laughed, “No, that’s not happening…stay the fuck back from me.” She started to scramble back but he came towards her anyway, once again, gripping her by the throat and lifting her. 

“We will have…fun…” He grinned his eyes starting to take on that weird glow again. She clawed at his wrist still not fully understanding how he had the ability to do this, or how her own mind had turned against her this much but she didn’t have much time to consider it before blacking out for a third time that day. 

Chapter Three

They call you a monster too…

That voice was around her again, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. She groaned and sat up quickly, her head was throbbing and her vision unclear. She was far more undressed now and back on the floor except she was laying on what could be best described as some kind of nest. She was only in the tank top she had been wearing under her blouse and her underwear. Her hair was falling out of the bun she had put it up in and she was shivering even though it wasn’t very cold in there. 

Are you a monster…why do they call you that? 

She shook her head and looked up, she could see the light from the surface and she could tell she was basically in the same room she started out in but instead, she was on top of the pile of junk in the middle instead of just kind of standing around the outer perimeter of it. She had no shoes on and oddly that bothered her more than just being in the scraps of clothing she was currently in. She was going to have to walk on that dirty floor and just the thought of it nearly made her gag but she supposed she could just get a tetanus shot when she got out of here. If she got out. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She said. Except she did know what he was talking about. What she’d gone through once they figured out who Mark was, what he had done. It had instantly been assumed by the press, media, basically everyone that she’d been helping him. It was weird because one would assume that people would think she was just another victim of his but no one thought that. It was probably because the FBI almost immediately started to investigate her as a possible accomplice. Not that she could blame them because of the mere fact that the Jigsaw killings had been so prolific and there had been a lot of people helping not only Mark but John as well. It was only natural they’d assume her to be a part of it, she was married to him after all. She was a monster to a lot of people because who could love a man like Mark if they weren’t a monster just like him. They didn’t understand, though. None of them understood and it was pointless to make them understand as it would have only gotten herself in far more trouble than playing dumb and insisting she was just a victim. That he had used her to go undetected. Mark and she had planned for the possibility of maybe being discovered one day and the plan had always been that she would play stupid even if it was far from the truth.

He and I are no different…

She laughed and continued down the weird nest she’d been placed in, being very careful not to step on anything sharp that could puncture her and actually give her tetanus regardless if she planned to get a shot for it later or not. If she was down there for too long, it may not matter if she got treated for lockjaw it could kill her. As she inched her way down she realized just how much stuff was here. Children’s toys mostly, old ones too. Things that were so ancient they’d nearly be considered artifacts. Relics of another time. Shit that her great-grandparents would have played with. Why was this all here? How did it get here? She could understand some of the more modern day stuff but…well it was a sewer. Perhaps this Pennywise guy was able to find these things more easily here than anywhere else. It wasn’t like the items were in pristine condition. 

“You and Mark are very different.” She said after a moment. Once she was about two feet off of the ground she just jumped down to a clear spot on the floor, well, clear-ish. Honestly, it was the best she was going to get and she was lucky she didn’t land on a rusty nail or broken glass. “Mark didn’t kill children, for one, and if any of these rumors about you are true, he didn’t eat anyone either. He wasn’t a cannibal.”  

I am no cannibal…no…no canni-bull….

“Yes you are, that’s what it’s called when humans eat other humans.” She insisted and headed for the doors. She put her hands on them and found they easily slid open this time. “Though you are an adult who eats children so that typically leads everyone else to call you a demon.” She started to head down the tunnel quickly even though she could see very little in the darkness there, running her hand along the wall to make sure that she was going on a somewhat straight path because going straight seemed to be what led her back to the light before. Maybe there’d still be a grate there, she didn’t know, but if she was close to the light and started screaming there was a decent chance she’d be heard and someone could come to help her. 

I am not human 

“Please don’t make me go over this again with you. Just because you put on a clown suit and live in a sewer and eat children doesn’t mean you aren’t human.” She insisted as she wondered if it was possible that this voice or this clown or whatever was just an inner monologue of some kind. Some part of the repressed madness over dealing with Mark, the Jigsaw killings, and her day to day life that was coming up as an insane clown that insisted it was not a human. If she got out of here it would be okay and the moment she got out she was quitting her job and moving halfway across the world. She was sure of that. 

Your mind is not the same as the others…you have seen…so many things…so many beautiful things…

“The fuck are you talking about, clown?” She snapped. It was highly doubtful that whatever she thought was beautiful by the real definition was something he shared the same opinion of and now he was talking about her mind, what she had seen. There was no way she could believe that he wasn’t a manifestation of her inner voice. How would he know things so well about her and her thoughts if she wasn’t making him up? If he wasn’t coming from her own head. She felt a gentle curve in the wall and followed it when suddenly she was stepping into an entirely different room. It was the interrogation room of the precinct where Mark used to work. She paused and put her hand on the wall to steady herself and adjust to the light. She blinked a few times. The door opened. 

“You knew the whole time, didn’t you? Fess up!” The familiar agent whose name she couldn’t quite remember at the moment accused. She shook her head and stumbled to the chair across from the table where she sat down. “As far as I’m concerned, your husband was a monster and so are you.” 

“I didn’t know anything, I’m an FBI agent myself, why would I not immediately turn him in if this was the case?” She insisted. 

“Because you were in on it! Don’t play stupid with me!” 

“I’m not!” She yelled, “He had me fooled just like he fooled all of you I don’t know what you want me to say! I am not lying!” 

“Wake up!” 



She shot straight up in bed, her own bed, at home, and she was dressed in her usual nightgown. A dream…had this all been a dream? Yes…just a very bad and weird dream that’s all it was. She laughed and brought her hands to her face.  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly when she heard water running in the bathroom. She scrambled out of bed and opened her nightstand drawer, removing her gun quickly. She trained it on the door and headed for it when it opened. Mark was standing there. He looked a bit thinner than when she’d last seen him, a few scars on his face but nothing too bad considering he’d gone missing 10 years ago. She gasped and lowered the gun. 

“Hey…hey okay take it easy,” He said coming towards her, “What the hell were you doing down there?” 

“What? Where?” 

“In the sewers.” He said, “They sent a whole team after you I got word of it, don’t ask how…you do know I have my ways.” 

“Yes, but they would have seen you…” She said, “And how…how did I get back to New York?” 

“You’ve been out of it for a while,” He said and came towards her, taking the gun carefully. She let him because she trusted him and it was so nice to have him back even if she couldn’t explain why she allowed herself to accept it. “I’m legally dead, they can’t arrest me based on the fact that I happen to look like a famous serial killer.” 

“Of course not,” She laughed softly and then wrapped her arms around him tightly. It felt so good to have him back, this close, she could smell him again and feel his warmth. He moved her back a bit, looking down into her eyes as he pulled her hair down, letting it fall to just below her waist. She kept it up all the time because when it was down it made her look so much younger than her 36 years. Mark had always liked this, for whatever reason. He ran his fingers through her hair softly before pulling her into a hungry kiss. 

She kissed back, letting the passion overtake her. She wanted him badly, she didn’t really care how she’d gotten back or what she was there. He’d found her, he’d saved her, and that was all that really mattered so she could ignore the rest of it and just let things happen. Things that she’d desired for such a very long time. He threw her onto the bed and was on top of her quickly pinning her in place as he forced her nightgown up. His eyes were wild like some sort of feral animal and his grin was devilish. She blinked a few times, something was kind of off here…maybe. She didn’t know. It had just been a while, that was the whole problem here and she wasn’t herself, not after however long she’d been in the sewer. 

Except, a moment later his eyes went from blue to yellow and he had ripped her nightgown off completely with what looked like a clawed hand. Something out of a horror movie. She screamed and tried to scramble back realizing that this wasn’t real she was still on the nest and that thing…that fucking clown was doing this. She nearly fell off of the pile of junk as he grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her back into him. She put a hand over his face, attempting to shove him back and he bit into her skin. The next thing she knew something had definitely penetrated her but it didn’t feel normal, it was cold…ice cold. She froze up, her hand clawing at his face only for a brief moment longer before falling away he was still dressed as the clown, same makeup, same eyes, same everything but he was…inside of her. 


She could hear his voice but his mouth wasn’t moving, whatever had been thrust into her started to retract and enter her very quickly almost like a jackhammer, and whatever was behind the manipulation certainly couldn’t be human. She squealed as the replica cock, tentacle, whatever started to move in and out of her, bringing her pleasure and pain like she’d never believed was imaginable all at once. All he did was stare down at her, from what she could tell he wasn’t moving and he had her too pinned for her to tell what the hell he was fucking her with but it was amazing and terrifying all at once. 


She screamed again, unable to help herself from becoming more and more aroused, she wanted this as much as she didn’t. She was pinned under him, he seemed far larger than he initially had seemed when they’d first met in the sewer tunnel but it may have just been her mind playing tricks on her. She could feel it moving inside of her, reaching places that a normal cock shouldn’t have been able to touch, brushing over sensitive areas, setting her nerves on fire, her heart pounding in her throat. Then with absolutely no warning it stopped, retracted, and he rose to his feet. Well, floated was a better term but she was very much trying not to use it because she wouldn’t be able to explain how he did that either. 

“Food…” He breathed starting to drool. She suddenly fell back onto this nest or whatever, only aware at that moment that as he’d been fucking her (if that was even what she could call it) they’d been floating. It was enough to jar her back into reality and hear that there was indeed another voice echoing through the tunnels of the sewer. That’s what had distracted him. 

“HELLO!?” It called. Sounded like a young voice. Not a child but certainly not an adult. Possibly a teenager. He leaped down from the pile of junk and onto the floor, headed straight through the tunnels which would lead him to this meal he seemed more intent on getting than finishing what he had been doing with her. 

“NO!” She yelled her voice strangled and hoarse. She scrambled off of the pile of junk and slid down the side of it before running after him into the pitch black darkness. There was no way in hell she was going to let him do anything to anyone while she was there and though she didn’t know how she was going to stop him yet, she knew that failure to do anything was just as bad. This was just a problem she’d have to solve once she caught up to him…if she even could. 

Chapter Four

Even though she ran as fast as she could completely blind into the darkness of that tunnel she never actually caught up to him. Seeing as how she also mostly thought he was a hallucination still it kind of made sense to her. Then, completely out of nowhere she ended up slamming into the grate she’d run into before when she was first trying to get out. She hit her head and it knocked her back. She didn’t know where it had come from, or how she’d suddenly gotten here into the light from the pitch black darkness of wherever she had been before. Just beyond the grate, there was a young man, maybe about fourteen or fifteen years old from her best judgment and he was holding her phone. She scrambled back to her feet ignoring the fact that she was dizzy and more than likely had a concussion from that blow to her head and moved to the grate. 

“Woah, who the hell are you?” The kid asked. 

“Not important, I’m a federal agent and you need to run.” She said, of course, this didn’t work at all and he just came closer to her probably because she was half naked and even though she was covered in absolute filth at that point she didn’t think it would distract a male of his age from the fact that she was relatively attractive otherwise. “I’m a federal agent, you have to listen to me.” 

“Why are you down here, then?” He asked. 

“It’s not by choice some…a very dangerous man in a clown suit has me trapped down here.” She said seriously looking him in the eye. That seemed to be enough to startle him and he dropped her phone, looking around like he was terrified and starting to back away from her. 

“That shit ain’t funny…” He said, “Is this some kind of joke.” 

“This is not a joke, my name is Leila Dawson, I’m with the FBI, you need to get out of here and get help.” She got down and started to reach through the grate desperately trying to grab the phone it was almost close enough that she could get to it if she just jammed her shoulder a bit more through the bars she’d have it. She became more focused on that than whoever this kid was and as soon as her hand rested over top of it she heard a horrific scream. She looked up and somehow, on the other side of the grate at some point, Pennywise had appeared and she really didn’t know how seeing that this was the only way in or out of this tunnel. Or so it looked. 

The screaming ended quickly though because he’d gotten the kid by the throat and considering his size there was no way the boy was ever going to be a match for a hold like that. Leila snatched up the phone and dialed 911 quickly before setting it down again on a dry area hoping that the call would connect despite what lousy reception it might have been where she was surrounded by thick cement tunnels. 

“LET HIM GO!” She yelled firmly. Pennywise pinned the kid against the wall of the sewer and turned very slowly to look at her, not letting go of what he had just referred to as food, he didn’t even look close to letting go. 

“This is not for your eyes,” He snarled dismissively, though he didn’t do much of anything else before turning back to face this still struggling young man. It was about that time that she wasn’t sure what she was seeing happening in front of her. To her, it looked like his face was splitting apart in several areas and what she saw was just rows and rows of razor-sharp teeth, small ones like some kind of deranged shark. She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. It had to be the head injury here and she was already suffering from God only knew what type of mental stress, sensory deprivation, or insanity. 

“Please don’t do this,” She said calmly, “You can have me.” 

You do not fear me! What use are you to me? I cannot feed from those who do not fear…

“But…but you said you…I was your mate right?” She asked, “Is that something can that help you in any way if I promise to stay here and do whatever you want?” She wasn’t even sure how she was hearing his voice with his face split open like that but there was a good chance it was all just a delusion her injured brain had cooked up and he actually looked normal. 

I need fear 

“I can show you how to get it from me…” She said, “Repeatedly…like an…endless source of food.” 

You lie

“No, I don’t lie, you said it yourself I’m not like the other humans.” She told him, “Let me show you, let him go. If…if it doesn’t work I’ll bring you a child. You have my word.” She blinked a few times and looked up at him again only to see his face had reverted back to the initial terrifying clown man it usually was. She seriously hoped it stayed that way for a while because she didn’t think she could take much more of these hallucinations. He released the kid roughly, tossing him aside and out of the tunnel, coming towards her quickly. He reached through the grate and grabbed her by her hair and she screamed out in pain. She heard him take a deep breath as he seemed to be smelling her. 

You fear me now…

“I fear what you will do to that innocent kid,” She whispered. He yanked her face up towards his and with an impossibly long tongue licked the side of her face. 

You will feed me or you will bring me food 

“Yes,” She whispered, shivering in disgust and horribly enough arousal as his tongue moved over her face lewdly. She had no choice but to stay where she was unless she wanted him to rip out a chunk of her scalp by jerking back. “I can show you many things…I think you know that or else I wouldn’t still be here, would I?” 

Show me or your time is up 


When she woke up again she sat up and immediately vomited, which wasn’t good considering that she hadn’t eaten in…well she couldn’t remember and it was mostly bile. She wasn’t in his weird nest, though, she was laying on the floor next to it and the moment she sat up she bumped into something, that thing being him, and he was crouched behind her. She yelped and scrambled in the other direction, backing into the wall, staring at him intently. He seemed stronger now, somehow, not that she understood why but it was like she was seeing him more clearly than she was before and the light in there was quite a few shades brighter. If she allowed herself to believe he could, somehow, sustain himself on fear, then he must have gotten a decent dose of it out there in the tunnel between her and that kid. It must have sated his appetite for the moment. She’d also been talking out of her ass about what she’d said but with any hope that kid had gotten out and found help by that point so it would just be a waiting game. 

“Show me,” He said. 

“I uh…” She whispered and then turned her head and spat on the floor to clear her mouth, “Do you have to actually eat them?” 

“In theory no but I do enjoy it,” He said and then started to laugh loudly and maniacally. She winced and put her hands over her ears, trying to block out at least some of that. “Surely you enjoy the flesh of others…I know that’s what you feast on.” 

“Not other humans, animals yes…not humans…” 

“And yet you wish to judge me?” 

“It’s not the same thing.” She said. 

“Why?” He asked, though his voice had changed from that of an angry giant clown man to that of a very curious child in a heartbeat. She shook her head and swallowed a few times trying to calm herself so she wouldn’t puke again. 

“Look,” she said, “I don’t know what you are, where I am, or even why this is happening but I do know that this is the craziest dream or delusion I’ve ever had in my life and I just want to go home.” 

“Feed me.” He demanded. She looked up at him, trying to figure this out. It seemed that before the kid had wandered in there, mating with her (as he put it) was doing something for him and while he was doing that he was terrifying her. The best she could think, after putting two and two together was if he fucked her while she was also terrified he could get whatever he needed from it. That was, if any of this was real which it certainly couldn’t be? Right? 

“Let me touch you.” She said. He backed away from her quickly when she said that, almost as if she was radioactive waste which made no sense because he’d been trying to fuck her senseless before he’d run off for his meal. “Do you want this to work or not?” 

“Why do you need to touch me?” 

“You want me to believe this is real don’t you? You want me to have a reason to fear you, well, if I can touch you consistently and allow my human mind to comprehend that you are an actual, tangible thing that will help.” She explained. She had touched him before, grabbed him, maybe, she wasn’t sure. It was very possible that her hallucinations or delusions reached a level where she’d believed she’d touched him, or shoved him, whatever, but it had all been so quick. Not to mention she’d been blacking out repeatedly and that certainly wasn’t helping her to believe she was sane or anywhere near a rational state of mind. She slowly got to her feet, her legs shaking a bit, she didn’t know how much longer she could be down here like this without at least a source of clean water but she wasn’t willing to give up yet. He took a slow step towards her, then another, then stopped. She stepped closer to him and slowly started to reach her hand up to touch the collar of his creepy clown suit. She didn’t want to do this because she didn’t want to find out it was all real she wasn’t sure how she’d react if that were the case but if her being here meant other people would live she supposed that was the price she had to pay. 

She took a deep breath and placed her hand on the rough, dirty fabric. She felt it for a moment, her hand starting to shake. This was definitely real, at least, she was really touching fabric of some type, could possibly be a blanket or a shirt, maybe as if she were laying in a hospital bed somewhere. She shuffled closer to him sliding her hand up to his face and resting it on his cheek. That was skin, somewhat warm. Colder than a living person should be but warmer than a dead body would be. Slowly, she lifted her head to look at him, he looked incredibly confused and even a bit disgusted by this and yet past all of that if she really looked she could see some light in his eyes that was curious and possibly even a bit afraid. She brought her fingers to his lips and traced them slowly but that was only for about a second before he snapped at her like he was going to bite her fingers off. She yelped and pulled her hand back quickly. 

“What do you believe now?” He asked. 

“That maybe I was wrong…” She whispered and looked down at the fingers he’d almost removed with his teeth, “You really are a…you’re real.” 

“Say it…” 

“Say what?” 

“SAY IT!” 

“MONSTER!” She screamed at him. He grinned and then grabbed her pulling her in close to him, pressing her face so tightly against his chest that she could barely breathe as he stroked her hair as if she was a pet cat or a lap dog. Alright, now she was pretty terrified and she supposed she was about to die if that were the case so she braced herself and waited for something like that to happen, anything. It didn’t. Instead she was lifted up again and in seconds flat he was scaling that horrible nest and carrying her back up to where he had her before, pinning her down in place and staring her in the eye. He grinned. 

“Mate…” He whispered. 

Chapter Five

The next time she woke up she was completely naked and shivering. She was so incredibly cold she started to think she might be dead, it didn’t seem possible to be this cold and still alive. She was in the nest and according to how her body felt she had definitely been fucked by that thing she just couldn’t recall it happening. She hoped she didn’t. She sat up and looked around. Her trench coat was laying next to her and she pulled it up quickly so she could put it on only to find a bottle of water under that. A sealed one. She looked around and didn’t see him or…IT so she grabbed the bottle and opened it up, forcing herself to only take small sips of water so she wouldn’t vomit it back up. She didn’t know how long she’d been there without water but she definitely needed it. 

She started to consider the idea that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life, agreeing to be some kind of pet to…God only knew what he was. She’d touched him herself, she still had a pulse, he wasn’t a hallucination or manifestation of her own madness he was real and he was more powerful and evil than she could have ever fathomed. She’d gone to Catholic school her entire life. Even though as an adult she relied on science and psychology to tell her what was real and fake, and only really went to church on holidays out of tradition (or obligation) rather than true belief, she never thought for one second, any of that stuff could be real. Heaven, hell, the devil and God. Seemed like a huge load of bullshit to get children to behave and adults to be good people. Yet, this creature, Pennywise, or whatever its real name was, seemed closest to the devil that she could imagine. 

You have made me much stronger than I usually am

“Great,” She muttered and looked around. She didn’t know why he was still doing this thing where she could hear him but not see him but she supposed that watching her like she was in a cage like his pet amused him more than anything. 

I had not considered this as an option for centuries…perhaps because it was not readily available to me. 

“Well, glad to be of service,” She said sarcastically. It was ironic that in order to keep him from killing one child she had accidentally made him more powerful. Considering how many children had gone missing around there, or been found dead, it seemed he needed a lot of them in order to keep himself going. According to the town stories, this only happened every twenty-something years or so for a period of time then stopped. However, if she made him stronger and fed him more than he typically would be fed, what would that mean? Did it mean he wouldn’t need a break? Would he move on to doing something else? Consuming the world? Taking ultimate control of everything? Or would he just torment her until she was of no use to him any longer, eat her, and move back to what he was doing before? “I need more than just water if you want me to live long enough to keep feeding you.” 

I am aware you humans need to consume things for energy and survival I can bring you these things

“Humans are going to come looking for me,” She said, “Especially if you actually kept your promise and let that kid go, he wasn’t dead, he will tell people where I am and they’ll come back here.” She told him, “I know this seems like your home or something but it’s going to be overrun with them.” 

They would be foolish to come here I can destroy them now 

“Then more will come,” She said, “And more after that. I know a much larger place especially if you prefer sewers to other areas.” 

I should not have to leave 

“I agree you shouldn’t have to but your position and your home or nest or whatever this is, has been compromised. Ultimately you need humans to survive at least one, and whatever human you take after me. You can’t kill all of them you’d starve.” She said. 

I could kill them all…

“No…I don’t doubt your powers I’m sure you could kill every human on this planet if you want but you do need them to don’t you? And if you want me to feed you the way I have been I need humans too I can’t just be your pet in a cage.” She said, “I’ll wither and die faster than…well…i guess it depends on what you want.” 

I want a mate…centuries have passed…so many…I’d nearly forgotten…

“Right, and if it took you centuries to find another mate like me how long do you think it will take you to find one again if I die in a few days or a week? You like this, it makes you stronger, you said it yourself…wouldn’t that mean that your best option would be to take care of me the way I need to be cared for so I can properly sustain you as I promised to do?” She asked.  

What is it you propose then…human?

“I live in a big city, it’s called Manhattan, the sewer system there is a lot more complicated, larger, intricate. They would not be looking for you there.” She said and opened the bottle of water and took a few more sips. “You could be near me all the time, right under my feet…you’d have the whole city at your command if you wanted especially after I died.” After a few more sips of water, she laid down and curled up again closing her eyes. All she wanted was to be in her own bed after taking the hottest longest shower she could imagine and eating a proper meal. 

“You will lead me to this place,” He said though his voice was no longer ethereal he was now speaking to her normally and she opened her eyes to see him standing over her, back in his clown form. That was quick. 

“On the condition that you use me and only me and you do not harm another human as long as I’m cooperating.” She said, not sitting up just looking up at him. He growled and picked her up easily enough in one arm, pulling her close. This time he felt much warmer than he had when she initially touched him while trying to figure out if he was real or not and it was nice, considering how cold she was. 

“We have both made a promise and we will both keep them,” He said, “And you…you will be my mate and my meal…” He grinned. She grimaced and looked away from him. Her best friend, Rika, had always told her that her bleeding heart mentality would one day screw her over but she didn’t know how much of a curse it would be until this very moment. Still, the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. Her very occupation not only as law enforcement as well as technically being a medical doctor would not allow her to have this thing running around and killing people, especially not children, if there was anything she could do to stop it. Considering that prison was absolutely not an option for a creature their species knew nothing about and was obviously as powerful as any God would be (if not more) this was the choice she would have to make. 

“I will take you there but you have to get me out of here.” She said, “How can I show you? You can’t walk out of here looking like this you know.” 

“I am aware that this is not a savory appearance for the other humans,” He said. “I know your scent I can and will find you. We will meet again.” 


The next time she woke up she was outside, laying against her car. Her gun, badge, phone, and clothes had all been returned. To a point that she was even dressed again which was incredibly creepy, yet part of her was aroused by the thought. Being treated like a doll, a pet, some kind of fuck toy. She couldn’t say she was even against that if it was consensual, with another human. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t already been into a high level of kinky stuff before this point. Some of the things her and Mark had done in their sex lives had been borderline insane. She supposed that could only be beneficial to her now, as well as the creature, since brutal, horrific sex was something she’d already sought out and gotten off to. 

She got up and got into her car quickly. Once she started it, she began to drive and she was leaving the town and the state and she wasn’t going to look back. She knew he could follow her and out of fear that if she didn’t immediately go where she told him she would go, she didn’t want to stop for anything until she got home. There was no telling what he might do to her if he believed that she lied to him about leading him back to her home because it would probably be worse than death followed by a slow painful death. If there was anyone or anything she knew not to fuck with at that point it was this damn clown. 


When she got back to her penthouse in Manhattan she immediately went to her bathroom and started a shower. She stripped down quickly and got under the burning hot water to clean herself off. She’d only stopped twice on the trip home for food and to use the bathroom when she needed to and she was as quick as possible. Just because she didn’t see that thing around her didn’t mean he wasn’t following her or watching her and though she was getting stares of horror from just about anyone she encountered because she absolutely looked like a hot mess who had just crawled out of a sewer, she didn’t let it get to her. If they only knew what she was doing and why, and believed her, they’d understand that maybe it was okay for her to look like a pile of trash…smell like one as well. 

As she was scrubbing herself down and considering getting a good course of IV antibiotics to kill whatever gross diseases she most definitely got being in that situation for however long it had been she suddenly felt cold again. The water was hot still, but her body temperature dropped. It seemed to get very dark in there and she turned slowly as she sensed eyes on her. Pennywise was standing there outside of the frosted glass doors of her shower, looking in. She could see his eyes very clearly even if the rest of him was kind of blurred due to the effects of the glass. She jumped and then took in a shaky breath. That was insanely quick. 

“Might want to stop doing that,” She muttered, “Humans also have these things called hearts that can go very bad if they are startled enough.” 

“You like it,” He said, “You like the fear…I can smell it…” 

“Regardless if I like it or not it’s still not good for my heart or nervous system.” She replied and grabbed a bottle of shampoo dumping a bunch of it into her hand to work through her long hair. She’d probably need the entire bottle given the length of her hair and how dirty it had gotten down there. 

“Finicky pet…”

“Creepy clown…” She retorted mostly under her breath. She watched him until he walked away from the door and her body started to get warmer, not as much as it had been but it seemed now that he wasn’t as close or glaring at her it was getting better. After quite a bit longer in the shower she stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself. She felt like she’d gotten back to a normal body temperature by that point so she felt better now she was just hungry. The big problem with this was she would have to contact the FBI and tell them what happened, as well as write a report explaining herself, none of which could include the fact that she was now a concubine for a demon clown. She expected to either get fired outright or put on an extended hiatus which she was fine with it wasn’t as if she didn’t have money. She was an heiress, after all, she didn’t have to work she just wanted to. 

She stepped into her bedroom to find him poking around through her stuff like he was a child and everything was brand new to him. Maybe it was. She didn’t know how often he got out of those sewers or if he had even wanted to. He didn’t seem stupid, far from it, but he also seemed to not understand a lot of things about humans or what they did. Especially not how they lived. Then again, she didn’t understand the society of cattle or pigs or how they got along and lived nor did she really care to find out by spending time in a pasture or pig sty so it made sense to her. Maybe he just didn’t have a choice now if she was also going to be his mate. 

“Mate.” He said to her she shook her head not sure if he was just addressing her that way or he wanted to mate. 

“I have a name, can you please use it?” She asked. 

“Leila…” He hissed. 

“What should I call you?” She asked. 

“Whatever name you find appropriate it matters little to me what you humans refer to me as, my name is nothing you could ever comprehend without going mad…” He said then laughed. She didn’t even doubt that he was telling the truth about that either. 

“Pennywise it is then,” She said, “That’s what they called you back in Derry and you look like a…clown so I think it would be weird to call you something normal.” 

“I can take any form you desire. I like this one. It’s fun.” He said then giggled. 

“For who?” 

“For me.” he said, “Humans react so interestingly to this form, don’t you think? And it’s one I know very well…grown accustomed to, you will not change that.” 

“I don’t intend to try.” She said and went to her closet to grab some clothes. “I am going to need to have another human come here to bring me some things…medication mostly because I don’t know what kind of diseases I probably got-” She halted her speech when he came towards her and leaned in to smell her it was weird and kind of scary but she allowed him to do it knowing better than to attempt to stop him by that point. 

“You are not diseased,” He said after a moment. 

“How would you-” 

“I would not still find your scent appetizing if you were diseased.” He said as a matter of factly almost as if she was an idiot for even questioning it. She rolled her eyes and started to pull her clothes on. Just jeans and a t-shirt as well as the usual undergarments. She walked out of there and he was still following her. She guessed she was lucky that she lived in a penthouse high above the city and this was Manhattan so if someone did happen to see him walking around in there no one was going to question why she was living with a giant creepy clown. Bystander apathy in that city was massive people were used to minding their own business instead of getting involved. 

“I’m going to have to interact with other humans for my own survival.” She said, “If this is what you want this is what has to be done. When do you need to feed again?” 

“It won’t be long,” He said. “Perhaps a day or two.” 

“Then why are you still here?” She asked. 

“You are my mate.” He replied as if that answered all of her questions. In a way, it kind of did, only because she guessed if she was going to be his mate and he viewed her as his property as well then he’d want to make sure nothing happened to her. Not that it would. This was a good part of town in a secure building. He wouldn’t have been able to get in there if he didn’t have whatever weird powers he already possessed. 

“I am safe here,” She said, “I am at no risk of other humans coming to harm me and even if I was…I can take care of myself. If you know my mind then you know I’m right.” 

“Are you saying you do not desire your mate around?” He asked sounding offended. That’s definitely what she was saying but she didn’t think it was wise to confirm it. Instead, she didn’t answer him and went into her kitchen to pull out some food to cook. 

“Even if I wouldn’t request you take on a different form, permanently, would you mind making yourself look a bit more normal while you’re here? Just…for now. Until I can get settled in?” She asked. 


“It would just be helpful is all.” She said, “It would also probably greatly assist with this whole mating ritual thing you do it I was also attracted to you.” 

“I do not care about attraction I care about fear.” He said, “And you do not like this clown form as much as you claim it does not bother you.” 

“You’re right, I don’t like the clown form and it is unnerving and so is that voice it puts me on edge you are absolutely right but with humans…a big part of attraction is also physical and well can’t you get in my head can’t you see what me and my husband did or…used to when we uh…mated?” She asked him. She had been incredibly into fear play with Mark. It had helped, a lot, that he was an actual murderer and even though she trusted him not to ever actually harm or kill her the thought that he could easily take her life during the act of sex had been incredibly arousing. The adrenaline rush, the helplessness. She suffered from a very dangerous and particular form of hybristophilia. Though many humans felt this to some degree, hers had actually spiked to the level of dangerous sexual activities that were borderline insane and potentially life-threatening. She was aroused by dangerous people, situations, and her own fear. It was one of the most addictive sensations she’d ever encountered and before the point of agreeing to be a mate for this…thing, she’d been keeping it under control. With Mark, it had nearly destroyed her entire life, especially when he was found out and she’d realized she had to pull back and limit her exposure to those sorts of things. She didn’t have a choice now but it did make her a perfect partner for this monster. 

“You found him attractive then?” He asked. “I can take his form if you desire.” 

“No, absolutely not.” She said, “Besides I’ll know it’s not real and I think it’s apparent that things don’t work out well for you if I’m aware that it’s fake.” 

“What form would you desire most, then?” 

“I honestly don’t care as long as you’re…you look like a human and not a demon clown.” She said as she started to make her food. It didn’t seem like too much time had passed, at least on in an actual sense, so most of the stuff in her fridge had still been good. She was starving and she needed to eat to get her energy back. He frowned at her because he obviously didn’t like this idea too much and then he vanished into thin air. Well, at least she’d get some peace and quiet for a bit while he went off and had some kind of tantrum about having to change forms for her. 


Almost as soon as she was finished eating she ended up dozing off on the couch while contemplating how she was going to contact the FBI and explain any of this to them, especially how she’d just left in the middle of an assignment. She was kind of surprised that no one had called her in the time since she’d left that small town until now and she briefly wondered if the clown was controlling that too. If he had the power to cloud minds like he had clouded hers in order to keep her protected. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility and though he’d be doing it for his own selfish reasons they were beneficial to her. All she’d asked was that he not kill another human, but the nature of what he was denoted he would still be greatly amused with controlling as many of her kind as he could. Especially if it meant keeping her safe for him to play with and feed on. 

She woke up when she started to feel cold again. Her eyes opened and she saw a man, an insanely attractive and tall man, sitting in a chair across from her couch. He was in a very nice suit as well. His skin was abnormally pale, almost the same shade as the white clown makeup just more human toned. His eyes were an intense green, almost glowing and he was still as tall as he had been as a clown just dressed like an actual guy. He looked over at her, still not happy, and she reached to the blanket draped over the back of the couch to pull around her shoulders. 

“Is this more pleasing for you, Leila?” he asked in a mocking tone of voice, the same voice he always used so she guessed that he had decided against changing his tone even if he was willing to compromise on his form. She got up and came closer to him, looking him over. It was bizarre. It was almost as if this new form was exactly him…as a clown, but without the makeup. If anything, this was the laziest transformation to ‘normal’ he could have done but at least he’d chosen to make himself attractive. 

“It’s…better yeah.” She said then took a step back, “So I need to get some sleep, a lot of it. I guess if you want to stay around here to protect me then you do that but can you stop making me so cold? That’s not good for me either.” He stood up and growled grabbing her by the hair and yanking her in close. 

“Ask ask ask…take take take…I have done more than enough for you little girl and you will learn to appreciate it…” He hissed. She could feel claws digging into the back of her skull and his form shifted back and forth rapidly from the clown to normal until he ultimately decided back on the clown form. She screamed out and tried to wrench away but he did release her after a moment before sitting back down. 

“R-Right…sorry.” She whispered, “I need to rest, is that okay?” 

“Go…” he dismissed her with a flippant wave of his hand. She backed up, keeping her eyes on him until she got to the stairs and ran up them to her bedroom. Once she was in bed, she got under the covers completely, curling up and closing her eyes as she tried desperately to get warm and calm enough to sleep. If there was such a thing as hell, then she was in it now, and that was unmistakable. Maybe she really had died back in those sewers and this was her eternal reward for it. 

Chapter Six

She was actually very surprised that for two days everything was normal. Everything except her dreams which were very weird. Nothing she would call nightmares but nothing that she would call good either. Intense, realistic, graphic, strange…all of that but not scary. It wasn’t even anything she could specifically remember just that she always woke up with a vague feeling of something not being right and the dreams being hard to comprehend. When she was having them they were very emotional. It felt almost as if she was getting no sleep at all which was wearing her down. Though she was tempted to try to find out if Pennywise was behind all of that she was more hoping that he went away and was starting to consider if it might not be better to just let him eat humans if it meant her life went back to normal. Even if what he consumed was children. 

Amazingly, for some reason (probably the demon clown) no one at her job even noticed she was missing or had gone on any assignment. Everything was just normal. Eerily so. If she couldn’t touch, taste, and smell everything around her like she currently was she’d have sworn she was still in the sewers and just dreaming all of this but she was definitely alive and this was definitely real. It was just taking a lot of getting used to. She had opted to take a hiatus from her job, and an extended one. She lied and said there was a death in her family and since she had time off coming to her anyway no one was overly concerned about this. Part of her felt almost like she could get away with murder and no one would bat an eye with how she was being treated. She didn’t like it. 

As she was on her nightly jog through Central Park she suddenly paused when she realized how silent it had gotten suddenly. How empty the place was. Sure it was late but it was never this empty. There was always at least a hobo wandering around or something, this wasn’t right, she couldn’t hear sounds of the city or traffic she couldn’t see anyone around and the only light coming from above was the unusually large moon. Fuck. He was coming. She started running, more than a jog, a full-on terrified run when she was suddenly tackled from behind. She screamed as she hit the ground, being pinned there in the middle of the dirt path unable to move. 

There was a demonic giggling that followed, a very amused sounding terrifying one. It couldn’t be anything other than…him…IT. 

“STOP!” She yelled, but that didn’t work. Her face was shoved into the dirt roughly and she felt like if she even tried to move or get away her skull would be crushed. She had no choice but to submit even if she didn’t want to and had been lulled into a false sense of security that maybe this clown was never coming back. 

“Stop…STOP!!!” He mocked her, his voice rising up to that annoyingly high and mocking pitch it took on when he was excited. “Do you really want this to stop…are you just so…scared…” he said then started in with some ridiculously loud teasing and fake sob right in her ear. She felt his tongue run over the back of her neck as her pants were yanked down roughly. In her mind’s eye flashed the images of him, how he’d looked that night in that chair. That weird, tall, skinny, pale man with intense green eyes. The first time she’d ever felt like maybe he was somewhat attractive if that’s what he could possibly look like under all of that clown makeup. She felt him against her, thrusting into her moments later. She screamed, hating herself for getting aroused through all of this fear, her own stupid problem being used against her for such a horrible thing. 

“Take it…take it little girl this is what you want you were practically begging for it running through here all alone…” He hissed. She struggled as much as she could, clawing at the ground under her as the pounding started again. The cock, or tentacle, or whatever it was moving at an impossibly fast pace that was brutal, agonizing, and pleasurable all at once. Her breath caught in her throat, the sensation almost too intense for her to be able to draw in a breath. A hand wrapped around her throat pulling her head and neck up at an impossible angle allowing him to somehow, look down at her so she could see his face. That demonic grin and those glowing yellow eyes. He was, in fact, the clown again. She’d have screamed if she wasn’t so completely paralyzed with fear and pleasure at the moment. She opened her mouth, though, mostly to try to get in a breath and seeming to realize she couldn’t breathe he released her and she was slammed to the ground again. 

The pounding of the impossible cock like appendage sped up until it was no longer like ice it was like fire. She took in a gasp of air only to release it as another scream and he snarled in her ear like some type of fear animal. She felt him bite into her, first her neck then her shoulder, it wasn’t normal teeth but like a hundred tiny little needles, his groans and snarls as he licked at her blood tasted her body, her fear, and her arousal. There was a sudden violent jerk and her body felt completely on fire, like she couldn’t possibly survive this ordeal as she had the most intense series of orgasms she’d ever experienced in her entire life before blacking out entirely. 


When she woke up again she was in her bed she sat up quickly and screamed loudly as her body cried out in agony from that. She laid back down again and curled up trying to catch her breath. She was still in her jogging outfit but considerably more dirty. All of that had actually happened, somehow, and he’d brought her back here. Who even knew why but since he wasn’t stupid he must have known leaving her where she was after mating would not be a very good idea for several reasons. She didn’t think she’d ever been in this much pain before and it took a very long moment for it to pass. When it finally stopped she felt fine. Completely fine. Good even. Almost like she’d gotten the best night’s sleep of her life. She wasn’t sure it was worth going through that again though. 

She scrambled out of bed and into the bathroom quickly, looking in the mirror. Though she looked awful and had a few cuts on the side of her face, she was relatively unharmed. At least there, seemed like she was missing a few fingernails and there were dozens of puncture wounds over her neck and shoulder. They weren’t bleeding anymore but they were certainly there. She sighed and started to run the water splashing her face with it before walking to the shower and starting it. She stripped down and walked to the toilet and lifted the lid before sitting down to pee. The mere fact that she didn’t feel completely paranoid and awful was strange to her and just as she was pondering this she noticed that IT was standing there leaning against her sink watching her. She yelped in surprise and tried to cover what she could in the moment but she couldn’t exactly stop peeing either. At least she was in an appropriate place to do that because with how startled she was she didn’t think she’d have been able to stop herself if he had done that at any other moment. Luckily, he also didn’t look like the clown, he looked like the human version of the clown. Still creepy but less creepy than his typical form. 

“Shit…please don’t do that again and…do you mind?” She asked finishing up and reaching for the toilet paper. 

“Mind what?” 

“Ugh like it matters,” She muttered. She reminded herself that he wasn’t human so what she was doing probably meant nothing to him like when she was around a barnyard animal and it took a piss. She glared at him and quickly wiped herself, tossed the toilet paper in and flushed the toilet. Then she walked right to the shower and got in. She reached for the shampoo and noticed that he was by the door again, looking in. She could see those glowing green eyes. Slightly less unsettling than the yellow ones and he was in a nice suit, for whatever reason. 

“You have kept your word,” He said. 

“Have you kept yours?” She asked. 

“Do you doubt my promises?” He hissed. 

“Maybe, I mean you have been eating children on this planet for how long now?” She asked him. He growled and pounded his fist against the glass. 

“You do not ever doubt my promises,” He snarled, both the fist and the voice enough to make her jump back for a moment before actually grabbing the shampoo. 

“What happened…in the park…” 

“I was feeding,” 

“Right but that’s probably not the best place to…do those things I mean other humans-” 

“They do not see it they cannot comprehend such a thing with their pathetic minds I’m surprised you can withstand what I do to you without slipping into madness. Perhaps you will one day but not today…” He breathed, raking his now clawed hand over the glass. She didn’t really know what he meant by any of that but she had to consider that however he was mating with her was fairly ethereal or even supernatural. If other human minds couldn’t comprehend the process and she was ultimately human then her mind was probably only forcing her to see what it could comprehend which was exactly what she had experienced, or thought she had. She started to wash her hair. 

“Hopefully you got what you needed,” 

“I enjoy you…” He said, “I crave your body and your flesh…” 

“Great,” She muttered because that was exactly what she wanted. A demon addicted to her cunt and her blood. She started to work her fingers through her long hair with the soap, this was always a process because of how long it was. 

“I would not wish for harm to come to my pet I will care for you as you sustain me,” He said, “Never forget that.” She turned to look in his direction again but he was gone. She blinked a few times because that was considerably weird. What he’d just said was something close to showing that he actually cared about her, but she doubted he even had the capacity for that. Or did he? Whatever that was, it wasn’t love. It was kind of like how a psychopath sustained relationships. Everything was dependent on how they felt. It didn’t matter how their partner felt it mattered how their partner made them feel. Obviously, she was feeding him, making him more powerful, he felt good. Ergo, he translated this into wanting to be around her. Wanting to make sure she was taken care of because as long as she was taken care of he could keep feeling good. It was the best she could hope for until the day he decided she wasn’t doing anything for him anymore and ended it. It wasn’t going to get better than that because he didn’t understand anything about humans or how they partnered themselves with lifelong mates. Well, that’s the only thing she could really assume. 

Once she finished washing her hair and the rest of her body she got out of the shower and went about tending to the wounds on her neck, shoulder, and face. She made sure they were disinfected because he lived in a sewer. Even if he didn’t look or necessarily smell like he was dirty or contaminated she didn’t need to risk some kind of terrible infection. Weirdly, she hadn’t gotten sick at all over the days she’d been home and was considering that maybe he had been right about how she didn’t smell ‘off’ to him so she wasn’t sick. What more could he do with these powers? What could he do to her? The very thought made her nearly vomit so she immediately changed her thought process and took a deep breath. She finished what she was doing, brushed her teeth, and headed out of the bathroom quickly to get dressed. At least she felt fine now, rested, and her mind wasn’t a racing cauldron of terrible thoughts and paranoia. She was looking forward to having the next few days alone to rest but all of those hopes were dashed when she got into the kitchen and IT was there again, sitting at her table. 

“Thought you left…” she said slowly. 

“Perhaps I desire to be around my mate for a time before I leave,” He said. 

“Okay…” She replied then went to her fridge. She got out a single serving of yogurt and peeled the lid off before tossing it into the trash and going to get a spoon. He was watching her intently, like a zoologist would observe an animal in the wild. It was very weird. She tried to ignore him and went to sit on the couch before grabbing the remote to turn on the TV. She vaguely recalled back in the sewers thinking that having delusions of a demonic clown for the rest of her life probably wouldn’t be so bad. She laughed softly. Yes, that was back then, when she hadn’t believed he was real but this was now and he’d mated with her, twice…if the first time had even counted. He was an actual thing. He was a demon on her back and not one she was going to shake easily. He seemed into her now, and not in a good way. Very possessive. A weird thing that she desired and lamented. In many ways it was erotic and in many other ways it was horrifying. She didn’t know what she thought. She started to eat her breakfast as she flipped through the TV channels trying to find literally anything to distract her from the creature who was now treating her like she was a hamster on a wheel. 

Chapter Seven

The next morning when she came down for breakfast, Pennywise was still there. He was just kind of standing in the corner of her living room glaring at the kitchen table like he had nothing better to do. To be fair, maybe he didn’t, she really didn’t know, but he’d been hanging around like this since before she went to sleep and she wondered why he wasn’t bored or hadn’t fucked off back to the sewers. He just watched her, and she tried to behave as she normally would but it wasn’t easy when some guy who constantly looked like a demonic clown was glaring at her or standing right behind her. As time passed, she assumed she’d get more and more used to it and at least he didn’t follow her around when she went out. At least not to an extent she could see him (or others could) but she was sure he was always watching. She didn’t say anything to him she just went into the kitchen and made herself a bowl of cereal as he stood there completely still like he was some kind of freaky statue in her corner. 

As she was eating, the doors to the private elevator that led up to her penthouse opened. She looked up, because she wasn’t expecting anyone but that didn’t mean no one would drop by. Rika came and went from her penthouse as she pleased when she was in town, which wasn’t often but it was an unspoken thing they had because Rika used to live there when she was still in the states for school. They had been roommates because they were best friends. Leila was an heiress to a company that was based out of Japan and Rika had gone to business school specifically to get a job at the company. A place called DTI. After she’d completed her nursing and business degrees she’d moved back to apply for a job there. She didn’t want to be handed the job because she knew Leila she wanted to earn it. For years, she’d worked for the company getting promoted legitimately and making a name for herself. When Leila’s parents had died, Leila appointed her as head CEO because she was qualified as well as a board of trustees, she hadn’t wanted to run the place herself. She wanted to be an FBI agent which she currently was. This left Rika in Japan most of the time but she traveled to the states on business a lot, especially New York where their American business headquarters were. 

“Brought a whole bunch of food so you can cook for me,” Rika said happily as she walked to the counter and set the bags down. This was something she usually did and wasn’t that uncommon in Japan but usually, when someone did that in Japan, they were also going to be the one cooking. Rika didn’t know how to cook, which wasn’t surprising given her busy lifestyle as a CEO but Leila was good at it so this was what they usually did. 

“Uh, Rika…” Leila said and stood up quickly. Rika looked over in her direction which also happened to be the same direction where Pennywise was standing and immediately screamed and backed up. 

She can see me. 

Leila blinked a few times. He sounded surprised by the fact that Rika could see him and she didn’t know why he was surprised because she saw him just fine herself, so of course, she just believed Rika would see him. 

“What the fuck is that? Why would you buy anything like that?” Rika asked pointing right at Pennywise. Leila wanted to answer him, of course, but she couldn’t do that without also sounding insane considering that Rika apparently just thought it was a statue. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” She replied, “You should go.” 

“Why? So that thing can come to life and eat you fuck that.” Rika said and took a deep breath starting to approach him. “That thing looks downright possessed, did you get it out of an evidence locker, what the fuck is that?” 

“Rika…” Leila said and grabbed her before she could get too close. 

Why can she see me? 

Luckily for the both of them, he still wasn’t moving and he was perfect at pretending to be a statue with this so for now, the illusion was not broken but she didn’t know how long Pennywise was going to tolerate this. Rika had been the only person to come into this penthouse besides her in the past three days. He hadn’t had to deal with another human and with how he was questioning her now it seemed that other humans typically couldn’t see him, or maybe only adults, which kind of made sense. As she processed it, quickly, she realized there might be a huge chance that believing in him also meant being able to see him and the vast majority of adults walking around New York city would not believe in a demonic clown. Children would, though. They definitely would. This didn’t mean that it would be every adult, though, because some adults did believe in things like this and one of those adults was definitely Rika, and so that explained a lot. 

“Let go of me, seriously what’s the big deal I mean it’s freaky but it’s not alive,” Rika laughed, “Did you get it to prank me because if you did, good job. I wouldn’t be able to live with this thing for that long just to play a joke on someone.” She tried to pull away again but Leila pulled her back. 

This isn’t a joke or a prank that thing is real and it’s alive it’s been haunting me for days you need to leave Leila said but she said it in Japanese instead of English for some very stupid reason believing Pennywise, the God or demon-like monster wouldn’t be able to understand her but it was out of panic more so than any sort of intelligent decision she made. 

Are you fucking serious right now? Have you lost your mind? Rika replied in Japanese, usually, she just switched to that when Leila did because it was her native language anyway. It was then that Pennywise decided to take a step towards them. Rika screamed louder than Leila had ever heard her scream and scrambled back towards the elevators hitting the button while also moving backward so she never had to take her eyes off of the clown. 

“How is it you can see me?” He demanded of her. 

Oh my God, I’m going to die this is how we die, isn’t it? Rika rambled in Japanese, GET AWAY FROM HIM GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?  The doors opened behind her and she scrambled into the elevator motioning for Leila to join her but she didn’t move. 

“Does being able to see you have anything to do with believing you are real?” Leila asked him. 

“So she believes…I can taste her fear…” He growled and headed towards her. She screamed again and Leila ran towards Pennywise and grabbed his arm, though it didn’t do much because he just dragged her with him towards the elevator as if she were weightless. 

“YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T KILL!” She screamed at him. He snarled and threw her back, clear across the room, leaning down to grab Rika by the throat. Leila got up again and ran towards the elevator, jamming her hand on the button to open the door and lock it in place so it wouldn’t send them down or lock her out. “PENNYWISE!” He turned and glared at her for a moment then looked back at Rika who was clawing at his wrist desperately in a panic before she blacked out. No doubt, she had no idea what the hell was going on here. He leaned in and smelled her, licking her face before releasing her so she fell to the ground. Rika was only five feet tall and barely weighed anything, not that it would have mattered to him anyway. 

“Leave or I will consume you entirely…” He warned. 

“STOP THAT!” Leila begged, “She’s my friend! I told you I need human interaction to survive!” 


“THIS IS NOT YOUR DOMAIN!” She screamed back at him. He glared at Rika who was just curled up in the corner of the elevator by that point shaking violently and trying to catch her breath. Pennywise stepped out of the elevator. “GO BACK TO YOUR NEST!” As she assumed, this didn’t work and he motioned to the elevator control panel with his hand, releasing the lock and triggering the button all in one motion as he continued to glare at her. He stalked towards her and she put her arm up immediately as he was going for her throat, so he caught that instead. 

“My domain is where I say it is…child…” He hissed. 

“Leila…” Rika croaked. 

“Leave I’ll…I’ll explain everything later I promise just go!” Leila begged her. 

“I can’t just leave you here…” Rika said crawling forward and jamming her hand between the doors to prevent them from shutting and sending her down, “It’s a…fucking…demon clown!” 

“I know I sold my soul to him to keep him from eating children,” She said seriously. If there was one person on this planet who would believe something that ridiculous it would definitely be her friend Rika. 

“Jesus Christ you dumb bitch,” Rika muttered and moved her hand out of the way of the sensor so the doors would shut, “This isn’t over, not by a long shot.” 

“Leave!” Pennywise roared at her yanking Leila in towards him by her arm, he turned them both so Rika could get a good look at her as the doors shut, “This one is mine. MINE!” The last word was a roar so loud the walls actually shook. The elevator doors shut and Pennywise growled before picking her up and carrying her through the penthouse to her bedroom where he threw her on the bed. 

“You can’t do that to my friends!” Leila yelled at him. 

“I will do whatever I want, you are my mate!” He snapped, “Why could she see me?” 

“Because she believes in demons and ghosts and…everything else,” Leila told him, though she was angry she was also scared because she hadn’t expected an encounter like that and it ended up worse than she could have ever imagined. “Isn’t that what it takes to be able to see you?” 

“In theory but only if she knew I was here,” He said. 

“You don’t know Rika she thinks there are demons everywhere especially when it comes to me.” Leila sighed, “A lot of this place is arranged in a way she likes to keep bad spirits out.” 

“Humans…it didn’t keep me out did it?” He asked and then started to laugh maniacally. She frowned and looked away from him. “And she just believed every word you said?” 

“Yeah,” Leila said, “Rika isn’t like other humans either…guess I always just thought everything she said about demons and monsters was bullshit. Until now.” Though that didn’t explain why she could see Pennywise, or at least why she was able to see him at first. She didn’t believe in monsters and ghosts and yet she saw him clear as day down in the sewers. However, the truth of the matter was she went down to the woods looking for a man in a clown suit. An actual man, not a monster and she truly believe that was the source of all of this. Her belief in the idea she would find someone or something probably manifested in the one image he was able to shift into in order to get to her. She may not have believed in monsters but she did believe in horrible people and it seemed like, from what she could figure out about him, he had been starving and desperate for food. She’d just come close enough to his nest that he snatched her up. It was an act of desperation which led them both to this point. 

“Your thoughts…they are correct.” He said having stopped by the foot of her bed, “You are a very smart human. Most are not.” 

“I know,” She said, “Which is why you are here now and not still in the sewers hunting children, isn’t it?” 

“It is…mate.” 

“Look,” She said, “You say I am your mate and you say that you will care for me in the way I need to be cared for so that I can sustain you, right? If that’s true, well I need human interaction I told you this. She’s my best friend she used to live here, she’s like family to me. I have to see her or I’ll lose my mind.” 

“I will have to…tolerate that one?” 

“Yes or you can just fuck off back to your nest when she’s here,” Leila said. 

“This is my nest!” He insisted. 


“Don’t talk to me that way,” He warned crawling onto the bed and right over her, she squealed and shuffled back but it didn’t matter because he pinned her down anyway. “I cannot live in a nest without the one I’ve taken as a mate and if this is what you need to survive you will let me in…or are you going back on your promise?” 

It was very tempting to say yes at that point. After what she’d seen him do to Rika, how it would definitely scar Rika for the rest of her life, how he’d been treating her, how he’d mated with her the other night. She almost wanted to say it, it was on the tip of her tongue. How could she keep going like this? How could she ever hope to maintain her sanity and continue on with her life if she was a concubine to this thing? And yet, she found, in a very bizarre way she didn’t want to say yes. She didn’t want to get rid of him. Sure he was creepy…terrifying even but there was something about this that was addictive. Maybe it was the fear. Maybe it was the sex. Maybe it was the idea of being so utterly dominated by another that she was actually owned and kept as a food source. All of that was very erotic, and desirable as well as the danger she faced living with this huge burden. This was a complicated mess of shit made even worse by her own fetishes and previous lifestyle and she couldn’t let it go. Not yet. Not until she reached the end of it, even if that meant her own demise. 

“No…” She said, “I made a promise and I will keep it.” 

“Good girl…” He purred his voice mocking and sadistic as he ran a gloved hand over her cheek, “So we have an understanding?” 

“As long as you leave her alone and let her visit…” She whispered. He grabbed her face roughly, startling her enough that she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He sneered at her before giving her a rough slap and moving back off of the bed in a bizarre way that a human could never pull off it was like a weird, floating kind of crawl and she closed her eyes again wondering if she’d even seen that correctly. 

“Fine, but only her.” He said. 

“If other adults can’t see you why is this such a big deal anyway?” Leila asked. 

“Because this is my domain now, and I don’t want other humans in it.” He growled and then vanished, completely. She gasped, because certainly he was still there he just didn’t want to deal with her anymore. She rubbed her face where she’d been struck and looked around for a moment before curling up in her bed. What the hell had she done? 

Chapter Eight

When she finally found the energy and motivation to pull herself out of bed she slowly trudged her way down to the kitchen to grab her phone, only to find Rika sitting at the table staring blankly ahead. She yelped and jumped back wondering if this was something Pennywise had done or she’d just come back on her own. She slowly approached the table and sat down across from Rika. 

“Rika…” She said softly, “You came back?” 

“Yeah,” Rika said slowly then blinked a few times and looked over in her direction, “You really thought I was going to leave you here with that…thing?” 

“I’d have left me and never come back,” Leila sighed. 

“Care to explain any of this?” Rika asked. 

“I don’t know if you’d even believe me or understand it, I barely understand it.” She said. “How about I get us both a drink?” Rika nodded and she got up again to walk into the kitchen. She grabbed two beers and opened them before coming back to the table and setting one down in front of her friend before taking her seat again. 

“Well, knowing how you are I definitely believe that you basically sold your soul to a demon to keep innocent people from being harmed.” Rika said, “And I do believe in demons so guess that explains that part so…how did this even happen?” 

“I was on assignment in this horrible town called Derry, Maine.” She said and took a sip of her drink. “Investigating some disappearances, children mainly. I don’t know why they sent me, of all people, because there wasn’t really any evidence that the crimes were sexual in nature but there also wasn’t enough proof there wasn’t so of course when in doubt, call in the sex crimes agent right? Anyway, I kept hearing all these stories about a clown. Pennywise they said his name was.” 

“I gathered that much with what you shouted at…IT,” Rika said. 

“Yeah well you know how I am I don’t really believe in that stuff. I did believe there was some merit to the story though. Witnesses are horribly unreliable to start with and then add in the fact I’m in some poor, white, religious cow town and pretty much I deduced they were afraid of a man who dressed as a clown who probably lived in the woods.” She said, “Went out there to see if I could find anything.” 

“Clown,” Rika laughed, “Like Gacy?” 

“Yeah,” She said, “That’s what I was determined to find and prove to all of them that this was just a man, not a monster, and he happened to dress as a clown because I don’t know, he was fucking crazy. I ran into him at some point, I don’t know when honestly. He held me captive and he…desired me as a mate.” 

“You didn’t…” Rika whispered looking horrified. 

“You think I had much of a choice?” Leila asked her. She frowned and shook her head. “Anyway he lured some kid into the sewers where we were and I promised to be his mate, and stay with him willingly if he never killed another human as long as I was his. Guess it was a mistake.” 

“You think?” 

“Rika…” Leila said, “It’s really not as bad as it looks.” 

“Now you’re just lying,” Rika said and started to chug her beer. Leila wasn’t sure she was actually lying, oddly enough. Something in her must have twisted and broken because she really didn’t think it was too bad. Maybe because she was slowly going insane and starting to get used to it herself. Still, she didn’t want to insist she wasn’t lying because then Rika would most definitely think she was insane and even if it was true she didn’t need that. “Leila, maybe it’s time you consider it’s okay for some humans to die if it means getting that thing off of your back.” 

“Children, Rika…that’s what it eats. Not just people.” Leila said. 

“Oh this is so wrong but Mark and his stupid traps-” 

“Those were adults and they were criminals, also I never said that was okay I just…it was different.” She tried to explain. 

“I can’t say I’m surprised you went from Mark to an actual demon.” 

“Fuck you,” Leila replied, “You know Mark was nothing like a fucking psychotic clown monster so just give it a rest this isn’t even relevant.” 

“Well, I can’t just leave you here alone with him. He was going to eat me, without a second thought and you? Okay when he gets bored of you, what do you think is going to happen? I assume he’s got some kind of ridiculous lifespan that you don’t have, you aren’t immortal he’ll eventually start eating children again anyway so what does it matter if you prevent it for…what? Ten more years? If he even allows you that long?” Rika asked. 

“It’s the principle of the thing it’s like knowing I could have stopped so much horror for so many people. Rika, it’s my job to protect people, to care for them, I’m a doctor and an FBI agent. It’s not within my morals to just allow-” 

“You were fine with Mark…” 

“STOP BRINGING UP MARK!” She snapped, for whatever reason this got Pennywise to appear right at the end of the table. Rika screamed and basically fell out of her chair, scrambling back. He turned his head slowly and glared at her. “Pennywise, it’s…it’s fine okay I’m fine we are fine.” 

“Yeah…fine…” Rika whispered. He snorted angrily and moved behind her starting to stroke her hair which was weird because his hand was still gloved and it seemed very much like someone would pet a nervous dog more than anything. It wasn’t like she had a choice but to put up with this so she didn’t do much of anything. “Guess he doesn’t like when you get upset…” 

“It…” Leila muttered. 

“Whatever,” Rika slowly got up and inched her way back to the table she looked at Pennywise, “Can I sit down please?” 

“If you stop upsetting her…” He growled. Rika nodded and slowly sat back down again. Leila took a deep breath trying to ignore the fact that she was being petted like a dog or some kind of prized show cat because if anything was actually upsetting her it was that, but at the same time, she found it strangely erotic which she hated to admit so she wasn’t going to. Pennywise certainly knew because he could probably sense it or smell it or something. 

“So that thing is just here all the time?” Rika asked. 

“Pretty much,” Leila said. 

“Can it do anything else?” She asked. 

“What exactly do you want me to do?” Pennywise asked leaning forward and he was tall enough that he could very nearly reach her face with his, “A trick? Is that what you want to see? A TRICK?” 

“Uh no…Pennywise she doesn’t want to see anything like that.” Leila said firmly. 

“Maybe I do want to see a trick….” Rika said. 

“Rika…shut up right now.” Leila didn’t know when Rika went from being terrified of him to being a smart ass but this wasn’t helpful. To be fair, she was probably still pretty scared, Leila didn’t doubt that, but one thing about Rika was her curiosity. That would end up getting Rika killed as much as her own stupid plight to save humanity by agreeing to be the pet of a demon clown would kill herself. It was more than likely that Rika was just trying to mask her fear with an odd smarmy confidence. Leila had seen her do that before and she supposed the more time one spent around this thing, the more desensitized they became. Rika already believed in demons and ghosts and monsters this was probably an easier truth for her to swallow than a more skeptical person. 

“But the little human wants to see a trick and we wouldn’t want to disappoint her…WOULD weeee?” He taunted. 

“Bring it on, clown,” Rika said in a cold voice. Leila stood up and shoved Pennywise back. She didn’t know what this trick was going to be but certainly, he wasn’t using the word in a normal sense and whatever he thought he was going to do would be horrifying so she had to put an end to this now, in order to save Rika’s sanity and possibly her life. Pennywise snarled at her, not liking her contact with him in such a brutal manner but she reached up and put a hand on his cheek softly. 

“I want to mate.” She said. This got his attention very quickly. He grinned and wrapped his arms around her, glaring at Rika as he pressed her face into his stupid, ruffled clown outfit. The next thing she knew they were in her room. She could hear Rika yelling in anger and confusion downstairs but it was in Japanese and she was getting louder as she came up the stairs towards the bedroom. Leila had no idea why she thought to come in that direction because she’d have just assumed Rika would think they had left the place entirely but Rika wasn’t stupid and she was also weird. Not to mention her sixth sense about demons she always claimed she had seemed to be a real thing now. 

“If you don’t get rid of her I will,” Pennywise warned. 

“Fine fine just…give me a second okay?” Leila assured him. He let go of her and she hurried towards the door opening it up and stepping into the hall before shutting it behind her. Rika saw her and ran over, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m fine okay he’s not going to kill me.” 

“Not right now but-” 

“You can’t worry about the future neither can I…can you leave just for a few hours? Also, maybe stop taunting him?” Leila asked. 

“But he’s-” 

“I know…” Leila said, “But I don’t have a choice anymore and if you want to lessen the likelihood of him murdering me and then eating my corpse maybe you should just listen, for once in your life! PLEASE, Rika.” She begged. 

“Fine…fine, but I’m coming back in exactly one hour and you better be alive,” Rika warned her softly squeezing her a bit tighter before letting her go. 

“If he wanted me dead I’d be dead by now.” Leila said, “Just go, whatever he does when we mate apparently it’s enough to drive a person mad if they see it I guess.” Rika shook her head and then hurried out of there. Leila hated to do this to her best friend but she realized how fortunate she was to have someone so close and loyal to her that she somehow found the willpower to drag herself back into harm’s way just to make sure things would be alright. Leila took a deep breath and slipped back into the bedroom. If she was going to mate with this thing she was going to at least try to set some ground rules first. 

“Mate…” He said once again it was stated in such a way that she couldn’t tell if he was using that in place of her name or that’s what he wanted to do. He came towards her and pulled her in close but she put her hand on his face and struggled back, it took a moment for him to get the picture here but he let go of her when he did. “You said we would mate.” 

“I did say that but I mean do you think maybe I could participate a bit more in this?” She asked. She was surprised he wanted to mate because she had initiated. It had seemed to her that he was more interested in just doing it when she had no interest what so ever. To be fair, she’d only agreed to this to get Rika and him to back down from whatever weird thing they were doing downstairs but she supposed she could say she wanted more now than she had that night in the park or down in the sewers. He looked at her like he was confused and he probably was. He said it had been centuries since he’d taken a mate and she doubted that even if he had consent back then, he probably had no concept of what that was now, especially if his last mate had been a human. She didn’t know or care to know. “You know like…foreplay or something?” 

“Foreplay….” He said the word as if it was completely alien to him as well. What she found funny was he seemed to know her thoughts and memories very well but she still was introducing concepts that were alien to him. 

“Yeah, it’s where you get your mate aroused first.” She said, “You know that thing I do where you accuse me of liking your brutal fucking?” 

“Is this necessary? You always become aroused anyway.” He pointed out. 

“I guess it’s not necessary but as a human it makes me want to help you more.” She said, “And maybe you’ll find that it…helps you too?” She didn’t know if that was true but she also didn’t know if it was false. She had no concept of how this thing actually worked or fed but it seemed he really didn’t know what having a mate could do either, or at least, he’d forgotten, and who could have blamed him after centuries of not having a mate. He growled in annoyance and came towards her again she backed up and ended up hitting the bed and sitting down. 

“How do I do what you requested?” he asked.

“Not looking like a clown might help a bit?” She suggested, though weirdly she started feeling attraction to this clown form she just wasn’t sure it was enough at that point to want to willingly fuck him she didn’t know. 

“No.” He said. 

“Okay…” She said slowly, “Well…um…could you like, touch me first? Normally?” 

“What is normal for you, human?” 

“I don’t know…uh just kind of putting your hands on my body and being kind of nice about it?” She asked. “Like how you were trying to pet me before except, on the rest of me.” He was staring at her like she was saying the dumbest shit he’d ever heard in his very long life. He came towards her quickly and she put her arm up in response because she knew he was going to try to grab her throat again so this caused him to grab her arm instead. He went to grab her with his other hand and she grabbed his wrist. 

“I see you’ve managed to learn a thing or two…” He said, giggling maniacally a moment later. 

“Can you just try this? Please? For your mate?” She asked him, attempting to stay calm. “Choking isn’t generally considered nice touching.” He snarled at her, no doubt wondering why the hell she wanted this and she wasn’t even sure. If anything, it would just be easier if she allowed him to fuck her with that weird tentacle thing he called a cock and get it over with. She was actually kind of shocked he was trying to do this, which was weird, because it meant he, in some minor way, cared about how she felt. He refused to shift form for her but he also wasn’t forcing her to do much of anything and he definitely could if he wanted to. He let go of her after another moment and she moved back onto the bed. This was probably the dumbest thing she’d ever attempted to do in her life. Teach a monster something resembling foreplay. He was on top of her in seconds flat. His face in her neck as he pinned her in place, she could feel him…smelling her. For some weird reason, this was arousing. Not that she could explain why. She wasn’t sure it mattered though as long as it got her to where she needed to be. He was sniffing at her more like an animal would sniff at something it found interesting, though, it was in no way meant to be sexual and she was sure of that but it was still doing something for her. 

She tried to stay still because she knew he had those rows of teeth or fangs or whatever they were in his mouth and she didn’t want to get bit again, even if she had healed remarkably fast from the last time he’d done it. He put his hands on her chest, roughly, over her tits. He squeezed them as if he was trying to figure out what they were. Her specific profession had her educated in sexual behavior of humans, especially sexual deviance. Human sexuality had always fascinated her from a psychological standpoint even the stuff she found abhorrent or would never do herself. This thing was not human, but since mating rituals and behavior had always been interesting to her she was kind of fascinated just watching whatever this was he was doing and didn’t try to touch him or return it. He growled and ripped her shirt open easily enough. It was a T-shirt so all he had to do was rip it, she was surprised he hadn’t shredded it. He moved down and started to lick at her chest and the top of her breasts still growling and he ripped her bra open from the front as well. Then he went back to smelling her. 

“Uh…” She said, shifting under him a bit. This was weird but really fucking erotic in a lot of ways, “What is it you’re doing?” 

“Silence.” He ordered. She wondered if he even knew what he was doing, this had to be somewhat new to him, maybe not as new as it was to her but to him he was probably just trying to figure her body out. He had her jeans off quickly, those were far more shredded than her shirt which was still mostly on her. She gasped. 

“Going to need you to stop doing that,” She muttered. 

“Going to need you to stop doing that,” He mocked as if he didn’t give a shit what she’d just said. She sighed and closed her eyes before she felt his face pressed up against the fabric of her panties which was covering her crotch. It was as if he’d never even attempted to figure out what this area was other than something to cram his weird, alien cock into. He was sniffing her again. She groaned as she felt his movements and what she supposed she could call breath over her cunt, only getting wetter the more this went on, but the more aroused she got the more he seemed into sniffing her until he started to growl softly. It was like some kind of freaky purr. She reached to touch the top of his head then thought better of it because she didn’t want to startle what was essentially an animal at her crotch who had a million teeth. He tore her panties off next but that only took about two seconds before his face was pressed into her again, tightly enough that she could only see his intense almost glowing yellow eyes. 

A few seconds later she felt a tongue on her, then in her, deep in her. Really similar to how the tentacle had felt but a bit smaller and more comfortable. She moaned loudly, because that felt amazing, especially since she was actually aroused and waiting for something to happen. The thing she could best describe as his tongue started to probe deeper inside of her, pulsing a bit. He growled, nuzzling his face more into her. She clawed at the bed under her, almost breathless with the pleasure this was causing and she kind of hated herself for it, given that it was so incredibly terrible to crave the pleasure of this thing more than she craved a normal life or any sort of healthy relationship. 

“Oh fuck…” She breathed arching up more towards him. He grabbed her hips firmly in his hands holding her up a bit more, snarling against her enough that she could feel the vibrations of that as he continued moving his tongue…somehow. She really didn’t know how or what he was doing but it was perfect. Once again, it was stimulating areas inside of her she didn’t know she had but it was far more pleasurable this time, which made it better. “Please…don’t stop…oh god don’t stop.” She was barely able to get the words out, because she was already so close to orgasm but it didn’t take her long to realize she…well she should be climaxing but she wasn’t. He had to be doing that, and it was nothing short of torture. She screamed out in frustration, trying to wiggle back, but he held her where she was. 


“W-what?” She panted. 

Beg your Master for release…

It was weird to hear his voice while he was also growling possessively and had his tongue in her like that, but he was glaring right at her and she was now almost afraid that whatever orgasm came from this might just stop her heart which seemed to only make the feeling more intense as he started to feed off of whatever fear she had in her that this wasn’t okay and that it might actually kill her, which some part of her legitimately believed. She screamed and started to thrash under him, being kept at the edge like this was painful. Nearly torture. 

“Please!” She begged her breath hitching in her chest, “Please let me cum…please…Master…” she finally was able to get the words out. It wasn’t for lack of wanting to say them it was more that she could barely think or breathe with the state he currently had her in. 

Good, Pet. 

Only seconds after that she was having one of the most intense orgasms of her life, it was even better than whatever had happened in the park which she didn’t think was possible because that had been pretty amazing but this? It was like she had died and gone to heaven for several minutes straight. Everything seemed to glow and explode with color, brightness all around her instead of darkness, the intense golden glow of his eyes surrounding her and the feeling as if she were floating. Suspended in mid-air. At some point, her brain seemed to overload entirely and after an undetermined amount of time, she felt as if she were falling. She was jolted back to reality as she landed on her bed, falling from…well wherever the hell she had been at the heights of ecstasy before. She gasped in surprise then curled up. The agony hit again and she screamed out, closing her eyes tightly, every nerve in her body on fire like she’d been dipped in acid. It only lasted about thirty seconds (or as much as it had last time) before stopping abruptly. Then, once again, she felt amazing. Fully rested, at the peak physical health she could feel. 

I like the way you taste 

She sat up and looked around. He was standing by her dresser, some kind of lewd grin on his face as he watched her. She blinked a few times trying to process what had happened, or if it had really happened at all. It must have, she had definitely physically felt that and not hallucinated or dreamed it. She pulled off the remains of her T-shirt, which was the only fabric left slightly on her body, and got up slowly. She guessed there was no actual reason to try to cover herself anymore. Not like he hadn’t seen her naked dozens of times since they had gotten there. 

“Thank you.” She said, she didn’t know why other than it seemed like the right thing to do. She started to head into the bathroom to get herself cleaned up a bit when he reached out and grabbed her pulling her into him unexpectedly, clasping his mouth over hers. It was absolutely not anything she’d call a kiss, especially not with how his weird tentacle-like tongue went down her throat next as if he was trying to taste the contents of her stomach. She gagged and struggled, thrashing against him a bit as she choked before he decided to stop doing that. His tongue retracted and he shoved her back. She gasped, bringing a hand to her throat, rubbing it as she swallowed a few times to make sure he hadn’t damaged anything in there, staring at him. The fuck was that? Either he was just a dick (which was very possible) or that was his version of a kiss, which also didn’t make any fucking sense because that would be a display of affection. Even if it was his own particular brand of affection that was still a thing it would be and she couldn’t decide which one it was. He went back to grinning at her like a pervert and she decided maybe it was best not to say anything and go get herself cleaned up so she left and he actually let her this time. As completely odd and fucked up as all of this was, she found herself desiring it more and more. The ultimate form of domination, by a dangerous creature she couldn’t control. In the end, hadn’t this been what she’d always wanted anyway even if she’d forever been too terrified to actually admit it? 

Chapter Nine

When Leila got out of the shower and came back into her room, he wasn’t in there but that didn’t mean he wasn’t around in some way. She felt, for just a moment, an odd pang of disappointment that he wasn’t waiting but she made herself stop thinking that way immediately. It wasn’t right. She got dressed, just throwing on a tank top and some new jeans before grabbing a brush to brush out her hair. She worked on this as she headed down the stairs. Her hair was so long she’d gotten used to brushing it while walking around the penthouse as it just made things easier at times. When she came down the stairs into the kitchen she saw Rika at the table sitting across from Pennywise. They were just kind of glaring at each other. 

I do not like this one’s thoughts 


You do not have to speak to me aloud I can hear you just fine, human 

That was interesting, also frustrating that he hadn’t just told her that earlier. She should have just assumed that, though, it seemed that he knew everything else about her. All of her memories, enough that he had known what Mark looked like and sounded like…even smelled like. She should have tried this before now but she hadn’t so she felt kind of stupid. She approached the table slowly, not wanting to startle him into possibly attacking Rika in some way because he didn’t seem happy. 

What don’t you like about her thoughts? 

She is contemplating how to destroy me.

I thought you were immortal, what do you have to worry about if that’s the case? 

In theory, she could destroy this form even if she couldn’t destroy me


Nice try 

She didn’t really expect an answer to that, and it wasn’t as if she asked wanting to know. It was more of a reflexive answer. A thought she had before she could stop herself from having it. Of course, she didn’t think he’d just tell her how to kill him but she didn’t want to kill him now anyway or even harm him. That didn’t mean Rika wouldn’t be thinking about that, though, and it was probably a dangerous thought to have. 

“Rika, stop thinking about trying to murder him,” Leila said. Rika turned to look at her. 

“How did you-” 

“Well, for one, the way you’re glaring at him is pretty telling but for two…didn’t you at least guess he might be telepathic?” Leila asked her. 

“Shit,” She muttered. 

“You will not be successful and should you even attempt to destroy me I will consume you, all of you, and even my mate will not stop me,” Pennywise warned her. 

“If I figured it out I wouldn’t have to try, because I’d succeed.” Rika snapped back at him. He stood up and growled, pounding his fists down onto the table angrily. Leila hurried over to him and put a hand on his arm gently. 

“She’s not going to figure it out enough to ever attempt it, I promise,” Leila said and then gave Rika a look just begging her to knock it off. Rika looked back at and then shook her head, she relaxed a bit more in her chair and smiled. Leila couldn’t hear her thoughts, unfortunately, but she could tell by the look on her friend’s face that whatever she was thinking about now wasn’t going to be fun for Pennywise which was confirmed a second later. 

What is a Hamtaro? 

Just don’t…question it you wanted her to stop thinking about hurting you and she did so can we please move on? 

Move on to what? That is a very annoying song. 

Can you stop reading her thoughts? 

Pennywise growled but nodded and then stood up and pulled her in close starting to pet her head again as if she were a lapdog. She supposed this was better than him trying to hurt her so she just allowed it to happen. She wondered if he was attempting to calm himself by doing this but she knew that even if she asked he wasn’t going to admit to it so she just let him do it until a point that he rudely let go of her and walked away, heading for the stairs before vanishing. Leila went back to brushing her hair and sat down where he had been a moment earlier. 

“You know it’s very dumb to think about hurting him in front of him, and the Hamtaro theme song? Really?” Leila asked. 

“How’d you know?” 

“We can communicate telepathically, which I just found out, right now,” Leila said. Rika laughed and then got up. She headed for the fridge and looked around in it before getting out a soda and opening it. 

“Only you could be telepathically linked with a demon who is apparently also your mate. If anything, this is the kind of situation you’d expect me to get into. Not you, you don’t even believe in this shit.” She said, “Not that I really want to be a fuck toy for a demon clown but really…who saw this coming?” 

“Alright, enough.” Leila warned her, “This is just how it is now and we have to accept it.” 

“For how long?” 

“For however long it needs to be accepted, I don’t know,” Leila said. A huge part of her hoped it was forever, or at least as long as she would live or he’d allow her to live but she didn’t want to say that. Rika wouldn’t like hearing it. “As you can see, he doesn’t have any intention of harming me, okay?” 

“And I keep saying that he doesn’t have that intention for now.” She insisted. 

“Fine, fair enough, but how long?” 

“YOU JUST ASKED THAT AND I SAID I DON’T KNOW!” Leila snapped at her, “If you are going to be this way I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” 

“What you’re suggesting here is that I leave you with that thing who may decide to eat you at any second and just be okay with it? Leila, we’ve been together since we were 6 years old, you’re like my sister, my mother thinks of you as a daughter…your parents…” 

“Are dead.” 

“Yeah, but what the fuck would they say?” She snapped. 

“Since when did I ever care what my parents thought. My father offered Mark five million dollars not to marry me, in front of me, like this was normal. Guess who I still married.” Leila said. 

“Well, I’m not a jerk like your father…not as much at least.” 

“But you are trying to control what I do with my life.” 

“This isn’t…a boyfriend I don’t like this is a FUCKING CLOWN MONSTER IT’S NOT EVEN HUMAN! For the love of God, Leila, would you not be trying to get me away from him if the situation was reversed? Would you just leave and assume I’d be okay? Because if you say yes I fucking know you’re lying to me and yourself.” Rika said. Leila knew she was right, which is why it pissed her off so much. There was literally no way to reassure Rika that everything was okay because it wasn’t. None of this was okay. Leila was very well aware that it was. It was fucked up, it was wrong, and it was the most erotic thing that had ever happened to her at the same time. “Are you even working right now?” 


“So you just hang out here all day with that thing?” 

“I go out, I jog, I’ve been to the movies I don’t just stay here all day.” She sighed. 

“I’d feel better if I knew you were behaving normally you love that job.” Rika said, “You busted your ass to get to where you are you can’t just give up. If what you’re saying is true and this is all okay then he won’t mind you going back to work.” 

“If I get him to allow me to go back to my job will you shut up about this?” She replied. 

“Yeah…at least for a bit.” Rika said, “Want to make sure he doesn’t have you on that much of a leash.” 

“He’s basically omnipresent you know,” Leila said. 

“Whatever, you get back to something resembling a normal life and I’ll get off your back for a bit. How’s that sound?” She offered. It was definitely something she was willing to try and given the fact that absolutely no one at work thought her vacation was abnormal or even seemed to notice she’d completely botched and blown off the Derry assignment, it wasn’t as if it would be that hard to start going back into the office as she normally did. 

“Fine. Tomorrow is Monday I’ll go in as usual.” She said. 

“Good, then you won’t mind me spending a few days here while I do what I need to do at DTI before going back to Tokyo,” Rika said. Leila rolled her eyes, she kind of minded but she was sure she didn’t mind nearly as much as Pennywise would. However, they had just mated not long before now and maybe he’d just kind of go do whatever it was he did for a few days until he got hungry again. Not try to bother with her. 

“I don’t but Pennywise might and even if he doesn’t kill you because he knows he’s not allowed, I’m damn sure he’ll do everything he can to try to drive you away,” Leila said. 

“Yeah, let him try. I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough.” She said and took a few gulps of her drink. Rika was either really strong and tough or really stupid and loyal. Maybe a combination of all of those things. Still, Leila knew that if the situations were reversed she’d be trying to do the same thing for her friend and she did appreciate it, even if it worried her that if Pennywise truly didn’t like it he could kill Rika and there would be nothing she could do to stop it. She just liked to pretend she had a lot more control over the situation than she actually did. 


Staying true to her word, Leila returned to work. It wasn’t anything she discussed with Pennywise and since he hadn’t appeared to yell at her or threaten her about it she just assumed it was okay now. It was what she’d been going by. If he didn’t like something she was doing he was definitely not shy about telling her. With what her job was and all the horrible shit she dealt with (things that he would surely find beautiful if not amusing) she guessed he really wouldn’t have a problem with it. Besides, he seemed to like observing her and there was no doubt in her mind that he wanted to see her in her natural habitat at times. Maybe it was a voyeur thing and maybe he just liked to study her as she was not his own species but he’d also taken her as a mate. 

The week passed and she hadn’t seen him, it was starting to bother her. She found that she desired him around more than she didn’t and Rika had finally shut up and left on Tuesday so she was alone again. Not a peep from him. She didn’t know why, either, because it seemed that before he had only gone a few days between feeding but now…was he not hungry? Why wasn’t he hungry? Why did she even care? The last thing she should want in her life was that thing and his tentacle cock shoving so deep inside her cunt she could swear it was going to come out of her mouth. 

Before coming home from work on that Friday night, she stopped to get food at a fairly shady Chinese place just a few blocks from her penthouse. It wasn’t the best area of the neighborhood but it was far from the worse. It was also dark, but the streets were fairly populated and it was a nice night. Not to mention she was still armed with her gun since she had been coming home from work, having taken the subway as she normally did. As she walked, carrying her bag of food in one hand, she felt her phone go off in her pocket. She reached in to grab it and unlock it so she could see who had just texted her. It was Rika. 

I have some news for you but you might want to sit down 

Leila rolled her eyes and started to text back, slowing her speed in order to inform Rika that she was currently walking home so she’d get back to her as soon as she was sitting down to eat her dinner. Out of nowhere, she was hit in the side of the head with…something, which knocked the phone and the food out of her hands. She fell to the ground and looked up. There were two young men there, probably no older than 18 or so, maybe younger. Idiot street punks. One of them picked up her phone and pocketed it. She took a deep breath, trying to stay calm even though that blow to the head had kind of made her a bit dizzy. 

“Where’s a pretty little thing like you going at this hour?” One of the guys asked. She started to memorize his features for a line up in case him and his buddy decided to take off once they figured out they had definitely attacked the wrong person. She wondered if this could be Pennywise but it didn’t seem likely. Besides, there were two of them, but if this was the case, where was he? 

“Look,” She said slowly, “You seem like you could be decent young men if given a chance so that’s why I’m going to inform you right now that you just assaulted a federal agent.” She got up to her feet. They both laughed like the didn’t believe her and given how she looked she could understand why they wouldn’t believe her. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think she was lying when she said this. She reached into her jacked intending to get her badge to prove it but before she could she was grabbed and shoved back into the alley, a knife pressed to her throat. She gasped but didn’t panic. 

“A federal agent?” He asked, “Why ain’t you fighting back?” 

“Because I would really prefer not to have to hurt either of you.” She said slowly, which was true. She was trained to get out of a hold like this and easily as well but she’d end up breaking some bones then there would be a whole mess about having to file a report and if she could just talk her way out of this she’d prefer that. All she wanted to do was go home and eat dinner she didn’t want to have to deal with the police, who were always morons and then explain her actions to the FBI as well. She was very willing to just pretend this didn’t happen if they gave her the phone back and left. She worked in sex crimes anyway, not petty theft, but the look in this man’s eyes denoted he very much wanted to rape her. 

“Hurt us? Really? Pretty little thing like you?” The guy with the knife to her throat asked leaning in more. She took a deep breath and watched his friend come around to the other side of her. 

“You wanna take turns or both go at once?” His friend asked then grabbed her by the hair and pulled her more into the alley. She screamed out and quickly slipped out of the hold. She grabbed the guy by the arm and twisted it up behind his back before slamming him into the wall by a dumpster further back into the alley. 

“Listen to me you little shit, I was going to let you and your stupid friend run off but now I can’t do that because both of you just threatened to rape a FEDERAL AGENT!” She hissed. She could sense the other guy coming up behind her to defend his idiot friend. Keeping the first guy pinned she turned to make sure he wouldn’t get the drop on her like he probably thought he was going to when she saw two glowing yellow eyes appear, and just that, in the shadows right behind the man approaching her. 

“Might wanna let go of him, bitch.” His friend said, brandishing the knife in a manner he thought was intimidating. 

“Do you believe in demonic clowns?” She asked. 

“No…” He said slowly, though he kind of sounded a bit scared, probably because that was a very crazy and downright creepy thing to ask in the moment. Especially in the middle of a dark alley where there were only the three of them. 

“Maybe you should,” She replied. Without warning the guy was grabbed and yanked back she heard a very brief scream from the darkness before the man’s headless body fell at her feet. She gasped and let go of the other guy, backing up quickly. That had taken all of 5 seconds and though she hadn’t seen it happen, and was thankful for that, she’d never been around this thing when it killed before, or…well she didn’t want to think about this guy actually getting his head chomped off by all of those teeth. His friend turned and screamed in horror when he saw the body but he was snatched into the darkness as well. 

“Pennywise…” Leila whispered slowly getting down to look at the body, she wasn’t going to touch it at all, didn’t want to risk getting any of her DNA on that mess. She looked around for a moment trying to figure out where he was, and where the other body would end up, but the other body never actually appeared. A moment later, Pennywise (dripping with blood) stepped out of the darkness and into what little light was there so she could see him. “You…I…I could have taken care of this myself.” 

“Doubtful,” He growled. 

“You killed humans.” She pointed out. 

“And yet, you don’t intend to break your promise do you?” He grinned broadly. Fuck. He was right and if anyone deserved to die it was these two fucking morons who had attacked her. She closed her eyes and shook her head. No…no she couldn’t start thinking that way but even if she was horrified by this and she definitely was…she’d never been more turned on in her life. At least not when it came to violence. He’d done this to protect her and it was very…very arousing. 

“That one has my phone, we can’t leave it in his pocket or else they’ll think I had something to do with this.” She whispered. 

“That is why I did not swallow him whole.” 

“Right well I can’t touch him, forensic evidence…” She trailed off as she saw him get down by the body, rip the jacket off and go through the pockets until he had the phone. He tossed it in her direction and she caught it. 

“I will dispose of this one as well, they will not catch us.” He stepped towards her and cupped her cheek in his gloved hand which was also soaked in blood. It smeared across her skin and it was still warm. She groaned softly, finding herself nuzzling into his touch, unable to keep herself from trying to return the affection. “Return to the nest and prepare to mate.” He said then abruptly stopped touching her, turning back to the body to take care of that. All she could do was nod stupidly and hurry towards home. There was no way she could say no to him after that…it had been amazing. 

Chapter Ten

The only problem that Leila had, really, was that once she was back in the penthouse she wasn’t very sure what he meant about preparing to mate. As a human preparing for another human, she would just get naked and wait. Which was probably what he meant but she didn’t know. She tried to think of how he’d prepare to mate, or rather, prepare her to mate. What he’d want her to do to prepare but she found that trying to think anything near the way he thought (or she thought he did) just made her feel like she was going insane so that definitely wasn’t going to work. She knew she shouldn’t have been so massively turned on by the fact that he’d killed those two horrible punks in front of her but they were going to rape her and who knew what else? It was something she’d always found arousing, being protected by a person stronger than her. How Mark had behaved. Even the times he’d gotten stupidly jealous because he felt threatened by another man, that had turned her on. 

She made her way to the bed and stripped down when her phone started to ring. She grabbed it and pulled it out of the pocket of her jacket which was now laying on the bed. It was Rika’s number. She answered it and put it to her ear. 

“Rika, I absolutely do not have time for this right now, okay?” She snapped quickly. 

“But you need to hear this,” Rika said, “I got a letter from the private investigator I hired for-” 

“For what? The hell did you do now? I thought I told you to stop paying people to not give you any substantial information.” Leila said then put her phone on speaker and continued stripping she’d just hang up when Pennywise got there, or he’d do it for her. One or the other was bound to happen. 

“This is different,” Rika insisted, “They found him.” 

“Found who?” 

“Mark, he’s alive and this time I have pictures,” Rika said. Leila paused as her vision started to tunnel she became convinced she was going to faint before she snapped herself out of it. No, that wasn’t possible. There must be some mistake. Make was a tall, dark, and relatively handsome guy, they had been fooled before. 

“Rika, like I said, I don’t have time for this.” She said, “You’ve made mistakes on this before and I won’t get my hopes up on-“

“He has a scar, over the right side of his face, the one you stitched up that night,” Rika said, “I guess it’s possible that it just happens to be some guy that happens to look like him and also happens to have a similar scar but why not look into it anyway? It’s the best lead possible.” 


“Are you really going to deny this because of that fucking demon? How into that thing are you? I told you this wasn’t healthy. I’m flying in.” Rika insisted. 

“Don’t you dare do that I’m fine.” Leila warned her, “I have to go okay I’ll call you later.” 

“You hang up on me and I’m on the next flight there I swear Leila I’ll-” She hung up the phone and turned it off so Rika couldn’t just keep repeatedly calling her over and over about this. She shoved the phone in her dresser drawer then turned around and screamed loudly when she saw Pennywise standing right by the door. She wondered how long he’d been there because she’d had her back to the door for some time. She took a deep breath as she tried to calm her pounding heart when she was grabbed by a tentacle that…well it seemed to come out of his back. Honestly, she didn’t have time to be able to figure it out because it happened so fast. The thing wrapped around her and lifted her up until her feet were well off the ground. 

She struggled a bit, but the thing slid up her body and grasped her by the back of the neck, preventing her from doing anything but looking up. She wasn’t being choked but it was as if he was pinching a nerve in her body, somewhere, to keep her paralyzed. Even despite this, she could still feel everything and the next thing she felt was a second tentacle slithering up her leg and thigh slowly. It was very warm and inviting, it started to probe at her cunt and she was already very wet so it actually felt good. She moaned, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. 

“Y-You don’t have to…hold me like this….” She whispered. 

“I will do as I wish you are not prepared to see the rest…not yet…” He warned her. She swallowed, completely unable to move despite really only behind held by her neck. The second tentacle entered her swiftly and started to wiggle around a bit, almost as if it were exploring. She moaned and jerked, her body shuddering at the pleasure of the perverted intrusion which distracted her just long enough for a third tentacle to penetrate her ass. She screamed, but was unable to even struggle to stop it. Though she wasn’t any sort of virgin to anal, it had been a while. Not to mention the fact that she absolutely hadn’t been double penetrated before by anything. It was, amazing. She whined as both of them started to fuck into her at a brutal pace. The third tentacle was large but nothing that was actually doing damage to her, so there was more intent to pleasure her than torture her here but he’d not tried this before and she started to wonder how the hell he got any pleasure from this seeing as how these all just seemed to be random appendages he had in his true form. 

The thoughts didn’t last very long before her mind blanked and pleasure overtook her, as well as pain. It was like heaven and hell all at once again. Her body feeling twisted and abused, even thrashed around as the weird mating ritual continued. Far more physically passionate than it had been at the start when he insisted on keeping her pinned in place. Since she knew struggling was useless she allowed herself to be limp, a fuck toy for his demonic pleasures, and she was loving it. The first orgasm hit, then another, and another. They kept coming and coming, overloading her system until she reached the capacity of what was physically and mentally possible for a human to endure and she once again, blacked out under his powers. 


When she woke again it was morning, and luckily this had all happened on a Friday when she didn’t have a major case to worry about for work or she’d have been screwed, possibly…the usual pain hit her. The one of a thousand fiery daggers, hot needles piercing every nerve in her body. Thirty seconds, and then completely fine, well rested, and better than she’d ever felt in her life. She had absolutely no idea why this always happened after they mated but she was going to have to find out because it was weird. Especially with how refreshed she felt each time. There had to be something up with that and only he would know the explanation. She uncurled from the fetal position and rolled over to see him lounging in her bed. She yelped and he grabbed her jamming his mouth over hers again as he shoved his weird tentacle tongue down her throat for a moment before releasing her. 

“Shit…” She panted, “A little warning would be nice also…why do you keep doing that? Is that like…a kiss?” 

“I like how you taste.” 

“There are other far less painful ways to kiss me than trying to lick the lining of my stomach.” She whispered and slowly moved back from him. She got up and headed for the bathroom. When she turned on the light in there she saw him standing by the tub. She was getting more and more used to him doing this so it was less startling this time. She got down to start the water since it was a sunken tub and then walked towards the toilet. She supposed he was just going to watch her pee again. Maybe it meant nothing to him but it was still kind of weird for her. “What is that pain…after we mate?” 


“Yes, every time I wake up after we mate I am in horrible pain for about thirty seconds then I felt better than I’ve ever felt in my life.” She said, “Why is that happening?” He looked at her and cocked his head to the side like a confused dog as it seemed he was trying to process what she was describing. 

“I am forced to make several repairs to your internal organs when you return to consciousness.” He said after a moment, “Perhaps that’s the pain you are experiencing.” She stared at him, that was just a whole barrel full of new issues, the least of which was him not understanding why that would cause pain or what confused him about her asking. Surely he understood that having to repair her internal organs would be immensely painful for her, right? 

“You do understand…pain don’t you?” 

“Oh yes, you humans have a lot of that…” 

“Right, and as fun as that is for you…you do know it hurts us…correct?” Leila asked. She finished using the toilet and headed back over to the tub to slip into the hot water. “Have you ever been hurt. I mean, physically wounded? That…that’s what it feels like.” 

“Hmmm it would be unpleasant but is it not worth it to please your mate?” He asked. 

“Maybe?” she asked, and then looked up at him, “I don’t know how safe it is for you to…why do you have to repair my internal organs?” 

“Your biology isn’t made to withstand the kind of punishment dealt out by my own when we mate I can correct it as long as you are my mate so I don’t think you should worry about much at all, you should be thanking me.” He pointed out. She thought that was incredibly debatable because she really shouldn’t be his mate at all, and now she wanted to be, but he was telling her that whatever he was doing to her each time was basically either killing her or bringing her close to death and he was repairing it. Either there would be a very limited amount of time her body could withstand this or- “There is nothing to worry about human, my ability to put you back together is far superior to what you are considering. You are my mate I take care of you. Perhaps you stop questioning this gift.” 

“S-Sorry…” She said softly, averting her gaze. It was still hard for her to continue to think about him in different terms of something other than a human. Even with the tentacle stuff, even with what she’d seen him do, because he ultimately looked like a human in a clown suit, the mentality that he was basically a God (or demon) otherwise and had powers that she’d never be able to comprehend with her current mind, was a hard pill to swallow. If she lived with it long enough, she was sure she’d catch up to it but as of now, it was still a bit too new. “I am, flattered that you think so highly of me despite generally considering my species to be a food source.” 

“That’s much better.” He said and patted her on the head then walked out of there. She watched him for a moment then sighed, leaning back to try to relax. This was one hell of a lifestyle adjustment but she still didn’t think she wanted it to change. 


It wasn’t until she was out of the bathroom and dressed in a nightgown and robe, intent on just lounging around the house for the day, that she remembered what Rika had said the night before about Mark and booking a flight there if she was hung up on. She ran to her dresser to get her phone out and turn it on. There were tons of missed calls from Rika, a bunch of texts, and a bunch of voicemails. The most recent text was from ten minutes prior saying she’d landed at Newark and was on her way there. 

“Shit,” She whispered and hurried out of her bedroom. She ran down the stairs and stopped when she saw Rika toe to toe with Pennywise in the kitchen. They were locked in some kind of staring contest. “HEY!” Rika broke away from his gaze and moved past him to run over to her and pull her into a tight hug. Leila hugged her back and glared at Pennywise, though she was kind of impressed he hadn’t eaten her. There was some definite restraint going on here and though she still didn’t think he could possibly care for her in the way humans cared for each other his version of caring was starting to shine through. Even if it was the weirdest definition of the word she could possibly encounter. 

“I have the information in my bag,” Rika said, “And he’s here in New York, allegedly. Wonder if he’s been watching you.” 

“This really isn’t the time to discuss-” 

“What? He can read your thoughts, right? This isn’t anything he doesn’t already know.” Rika said and turned to glare at Pennywise. Leila thought about it for a moment, she wasn’t wrong. This was definitely a question he’d have an answer to since he seemed hyperaware of every human that was around her or came into contact with her. So either Mark had managed to avoid a demonic omnipresent clown or there was something he was failing to tell her. The third option was that this wasn’t Mark or he wasn’t hanging around. 

He is alive if that is your question 

“No…” She said, “No this is another trick because you…that’s what you do.” 

It is not a trick 

“Then why haven’t you killed him?” She demanded, ignoring that this looked completely insane because he wasn’t speaking for Rika to hear. 

He is not a threat to me or to you 

“No he’s not a threat to me and I guess he wouldn’t be a threat to you either by why didn’t you tell me?” She asked. 

I would not willingly put my partnership with my mate in jeopardy 

“Okay, what the hell is he telling you?” Rika asked. 

“He’s saying you need to leave or he’s going to eat you,” Leila said trying to shove Rika towards the elevator. Rika started to struggle and protest then yell at her in random Japanese which really just equated to a bunch of curse words strung together and wasn’t very translatable otherwise. Leila ignored her and struggled to get her to the elevator. 

“That wasn’t what the fuck he was saying because that doesn’t make sense in the context of what you said out loud.” Rika said backing herself up into the elevator and brushing herself off, “I’m coming back here, you can’t keep me out, and neither can that thing I don’t care how fucking creepy he is.” She slammed her hand down on the elevator button and let the doors shut. Leila sighed and turned back to look at Pennywise who was just standing there as if observing this interaction between them was important. 

“You can’t hurt him…you wouldn’t right?” She asked. 

“Not unless he becomes a threat to me or my mate.” He said, “Any threat that compromises our partnership will be dealt with immediately.” She swallowed hard feeling sick. 

“Any threat like…me wanting to…be his mate again?” 

“That would compromise our partnership would it not?” He asked and took a step towards her. Fuck. This was bad, this was very bad, especially since he had a very weird concept of human emotions and how complex they were in regards to these things. Though she had always held out hope that Mark was alive and she wanted to see him again it had been ten years and even before this whole situation she had felt that it was over. She didn’t want it to be over but it was, now that she was actually faced with the potential of seeing him again her feelings were different. 

“Mark is…one of those humans that is important to me.” She said. 

“Understood. He will not take you away from me.” Pennywise said firmly. 

“I don’t want that,” She said, “I want to be with you.” 

“Liar…” He growled. 

“You know me better than anyone or anything on this planet right now am I lying or are you the one who’s afraid?” She accused. He growled at her, coming at her quickly. Before she knew it he’d struck a blow to her face that sent her clear across the room into the wall. She hit a picture in a frame which shattered behind her and she collapsed to the floor gasping for air. 

“I am not afraid! You will not see that human and I will do what it takes to make sure of that. It is final!” He roared at her. When she finally looked up again, Pennywise had vanished but that didn’t mean he was gone. She didn’t know what she was going to do now, so what she did in the moment was crawl over to the couch so she could curl up on it and cry. 

Chapter Eleven

When she woke up she was in a lot of pain. She noticed that there were a few shards of glass in her arm from where she hit the frame on the wall. Luckily they were jammed in there nicely enough that the bleeding had stopped on its own. Or Pennywise did something. It was hard to tell. Her head hurt, and her back, and her neck. She groaned and pulled herself to her feet. This was awful. She wondered why he hadn’t healed her but she didn’t want to go begging to him after that either so she decided she would just suck it up and take care of it herself. It wasn’t like she’d never been injured or in pain before. She was a doctor and an FBI agent she wasn’t going to die because of a few injuries.

Once she got into her bathroom she went through her supplies and got out the medical supplies she kept in there. Due to the fact that she was a doctor she had a lot more stuff than the typical person would have. She started to do what she could to fix herself up. A few of the cuts needed stitches but not many and that totally fucking sucked but she pulled herself through it. The thought of going to an ER to explain how that happened or why just seemed awful. She could lie, and probably pretty convincingly, but she didn’t want to. She’d have to have Rika pick up a prescription for antibiotics when she came back. If she came back. She sighed and filled a syringe with morphine then found a vein and injected it herself. This was something she rarely ever did but the morphine was a great idea to have around for various medical reasons and emergencies and this was one of them.

After standing still trying to wait for the initial rush of hitting the wall to pass, she took a deep breath and started to clean up carefully. She’d given herself the highest dose possible that also wouldn’t kill her or make her pass out because Morphine didn’t last very long, at least not its full effects and she figured by the time it wore off she’d feel better anyway. If she didn’t, she’d take something less strong than that. She walked out into her bedroom and laid down on her bed then curled up as she pulled the blankets around her, enjoying her buzz as much as she could as she tried to forget about this bizarre situation.

Have you ever considered that I am not a monster?

I think I’d have to be insane to consider that.


Let’s see. You eat children and I’m assuming you kill adults when you can get away with it. Oh also it has something to do with terrifying them first. Pretty sure that’s what a monster does.

Is there not one animal you humans consume before maturity?

She was about to tell him to fuck off when she realized that he might have a point. Veal. Which she had most definitely consumed more than once in her life. She did try to limit her consumption of it but it didn’t mean she was completely against eating it either. She wasn’t a vegetarian and though the main portion of her diet was fish, she wasn’t opposed to eating meat and really only stuck to fish because it was healthier and helped prevent her from gaining weight.

Veal…is that it?

What’s your point?

You don’t even merely consume it you keep it in a box in the dark and fatten it up, is that not also terrorizing something to make it tastier before it’s devoured?

Okay fine, that’s like the one animal we do that to, okay?

Are you sure there isn’t more? Boil some animals alive to consume them. Some animals get force-fed until they nearly explode just so you can have their liver…do you think these things aren’t terrifying?

Animals are not humans.

So that makes it fine to do these things to them?

It’s not the same, Pennywise.

Is it not the same because you are at the top of the food chain and you justify it as such because you need their nutrition and flesh to survive?

Maybe it is, fine, so what?

Have you ever considered that I am at the top of your food chain and I am only doing what my kind naturally does? If that makes me a monster then it makes you one but you insist you are not so if that is the case I am not a monster either.

You threw me into a wall because I told you that I care about another human being and want closure even though I also wanted to stay with you.

I believe in human society that would make me what you call an asshole, not a monster.

She really, really, hated that he had a bunch of good points here. Really good points. Whether he was a creature from another planet or another dimension he was way above them on the food chain. If he needed to eat them to survive he was going to do that and since he was very superior to her kind and what they were capable of she could understand the psychology behind what he was doing. It may seem unnatural to her but it wasn’t to him. It was normal and as she knew as a psychiatrist, normal was a relative term. There was no set definition. If a bunch of his species or kind, or whatever, suddenly appeared on their planet and inhabited it for hundreds of years while they became a food source that would become normal, in time. They would not be monsters and humans would be the same as they were just food.

Why are you telling me any of this?

Because I believe it would help you if you stopped seeing me as a monster and accepted me as more of an equal .

We aren’t equals we can never be equals you have some crazy fucked up powers that I could never understand. You keep saying that yourself.

I keep saying you are not ready not that you can’t. The human mind is such a beautiful untapped resource of pleasure and experiences none of you can even begin to imagine because you do not allow it.

Say I tapped into it, entirely and could actually control it, that still would not make me equal to you.

It would if I allow it, are you forgetting you are talking to the creature who repairs your body after every mating session?

She sat up and looked around, her head still buzzing from the morphine, it would still be a good thirty minutes before it calmed down enough that she’d really want to get up and move again. This whole conversation was weird and she couldn’t decide if she was dreaming it or it was actually happening. What kind of power was he offering her here and why would she want it? TO be like him? To see human lives as inconsequential? To potentially harm her friends? Her loved ones? Innocent people? On the other hand, to see the world as he saw it, to understand that, to really be able to comprehend his motivations and feel what he felt appealed to her in the way that she was a doctor, a scientist, a psychiatrist. It was tempting. Very tempting but it would be wrong.

I don’t want that.

You lie.

What I mean is, I think it would be interesting, fair enough, but I don’t want immortality or power I just want to live life and then…die when I’m supposed to. Immortality is very lonely. Look at where you are.

She laid back down, fully expecting to get thrown back into something for saying that because the very few times she had been right about him (which had really only been twice by her count) he’d gotten upset. Nothing happened. She sighed and welcomed the silence then closed her eyes again and went back to enjoying her buzz. She started to feel like she was floating as the pain melted away, it was nice. Morphine was always nice and made her feel like she was floating so she didn’t question it until she opened her eyes and she saw she was quite literally floating, somewhere. Who the hell even knew where either, it was like the dark void of space, completely without light or sound.

“Oh shit no…no no no, Pennywise, complete sensory deprivation is very bad for humans it’s not calming it’s not soothing it’s very bad…” She said out loud. Though she hadn’t been in this void for long, as far as she knew, she also knew that if he intended to keep her here for a while she was going to have to keep her wits about her and the very best way to combat sensory deprivation was providing yourself with any stimuli you could even if it was literally just hearing the sound of your own voice. “Pennywise I am not lying, this can literally cause humans to go insane you shouldn’t do this.”

She paused and waited, praying that he didn’t intend to leave her in whatever the hell this place was, or at least give her a light or something so she could orient herself to which way was up, down, whatever. A moment later she was lowered down until she was standing on…nothing, but it was a start at least. She knelt down and put her hands under her trying to feel what she was standing on but it felt like nothing. Like air somehow, but hard. It had no texture, no sensation, no temperature, nothing. This was freaking her out entirely too much. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I said that to you I only said it because it was true…well thought it, and you’d have been able to hear my thoughts anyway so what was the point in attempting to hide them?” She asked, looking around desperately. “PENNYWISE!”

This is death for your kind.


You say you do not seek immortality but this is your eternity when your life ends.

There is literally no way you know this.

Isn’t there?

Okay but say this is even remotely true the thing about death is that you lose consciousness, sentience, you lose awareness, feeling, you can’t move you don’t breathe but right now I am thinking and I am feeling so true death I wouldn’t even be aware of this much.

You are very smart….

A light came on underneath her and she gasped stepping back quickly because she felt like she might fall but when nothing happened she looked down to see what the light source even was. She was looking at herself, on her bed, either passed out or…worse.

“Did you kill me?” She asked, “What the fuck?”

To prove a point

“How do I know any of this is real and not one of your illusions or nightmares because I am aware you can do that and you can make me think anything you want me to think and maybe I just choose not to believe this.” She said. To be fair, as an illusion it was a very good one and it was completely terrifying. Maybe he was right, she didn’t know, how could she know? He probably did know, he had a lot more insight into this than she ever would but, he was also a mastermind of terror, manipulation, she knew what he’d done in the sewer and she knew there was absolutely no way for him to prove to her that this was death. None. She shook her head and sat down. “No, I don’t accept this.”

You are dead, that is your body, this is death, you cannot just ignore it

Well I do I choose to ignore it and you because this is a lie

“FUCKING HUMAN WHAT MUST I DO TO CONVINCE YOU OF ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE?” He was suddenly there, yelling at her, she screamed and scrambled back over the…weird floor made of nothing but he grabbed her by her arm and yanked her to her feet. “You have a far stronger will than any of your kind I have come across…at least in a good long while…”

“FINE NOW PUT ME BACK!” She snapped.

“What does it matter if you do not believe you are dead?” He asked. “She certainly does.” He motioned down below them again and Rika was in her bedroom by that point clearly feeling for a pulse and starting to lose her shit. Leila couldn’t hear her but she could see the reaction, the emotion, her body language and Rika starting to go into emergency life-saving procedures. She did have a nursing degree after all.


“There is no God,”

“Fine you…you please PLEASE don’t let this happen if this is real…and not a trick then the only way I’ll believe you about anything is if you put me back in my body right no-“

She didn’t get to finish because the next thing she was aware of was chest compressions, really painful ones. Ones that she was surprised Rika could even do given her size. In reality, anyone could go through the motions but it took an insanely strong person to do them effectively enough to compress the heart. She gasped loudly and shoved Rika away sitting up entirely and looking around. That had been real? How had that been real? Her ears starting ringing and she tried to get up, fell, then puked and collapsed next to her puke rolling over onto her back.

“OKAY WHAT THE FUCK?” She heard Rika, just barely (which meant she had to have been yelling because the ringing in her ears was unimaginably loud) as she saw her friend get off the bed and down by her. She was lifted into Rika’s arms and she felt her vitals being checked. Very slowly, almost like the process she went through with Pennywise after mating she began to heal and it was fucking awful. All of it. The cuts in her arm, whatever he’d done to her back and neck, it was slow but it was happening. She screamed loudly, slapping Rika away before scooting back and curling up. She was vaguely aware of Rika’s voice, softer that time, and when Rika put a hand on her shoulder everything stopped and she felt fine. Completely fine. Better than she had ever felt in her life. She looked at her arm, the cuts weren’t even there anymore. She ran her hand over the skin and then looked at Rika. “You were dead…”

“Yeah…” She whispered. Rika moved closer to her and Leila pulled her into a hug as she started to cry. She looked around the room, she didn’t see Pennywise and she could almost believe that it was real…maybe. Though part of her thought there was a possibility it was an illusion it was far more on the side that well everything was possible but only some things were probable. The probability of that being real was much higher than the possibility of it being an illusion and she was officially terrified.


After Rika had taken a good long time to calm down, Leila walked down to the kitchen to make them both some tea. Rika looked very pale like her entire body had been drained of blood and her eyes were wide, she was barely even blinking. Leila didn’t doubt that it had been horrifying to find her in bed that way but she was okay now so in theory everything else should be okay…then again, she was not exactly allowing herself to see it from Rika’s point of view. Namely the one where Rika was utterly convinced that at any moment a demon was going to kill her for any reson he saw fit. She had to come up with something that didn’t involve Pennywise doing that to her in any manner.

“So are you going to keep saying that he’s completely okay and you are completely safe?” Rika asked after a moment.

“That had nothing to do with him.” Leila replied, “I think I just kind of dosed myself with a bit too much morphine I was in pain.”

“Alright so why were you in that much pain to begin with?”

“I got in an argument with him and yes, he injured me, fine, but I’m the one who gave myself all that morphine and he didn’t injure me in any way that would have been fatal had I not injected myself with that shit. That was my fault. I must have stopped breathing when I went to lay down. It was stupid, and I fully admit that, but it wasn’t something he did.” Leila insisted.

“You’re going to have me believe that an anal retentive ass health nut doctor like yourself accidentally injected her body with an overdose of morphine?” Rika asked, “You do remember that I’m a nurse and I may not have all the fancy fucking medical training a doctor has but I will remind you that I still know how hard that would be for you to accidentally do unless you were TRYING to die.”

“Rika,” Leila said and got out two mugs and a box of tea bags, “Are you also forgetting the part where I’m somehow married to a demon clown to prevent him from killing children and you came here talking about how Mark was still alive and in this city? Are you forgetting what stress and sleep deprivation does to the human brain? Did you miss that part of nursing school?” She heard Rika grumble something that probably wasn’t even really a response. The tone, however, indicated that Rika was kind of trying to admit she was wrong and it was certainly possible under those circumstances. The kettle started to be whistle and Leila grabbed it off of the stove before pouring water into both of the mugs.

“Fine then explain how you healed yourself like that because I saw the cuts on your arms.” Rika said.

“I didn’t do that, he did.” Leila said.

“He did? It did? That thing…hurt you only to repair your body like that? Wow, that sounds like a healthy normal relationship you want to be in.” She replied. Leila rolled her eyes then picked up the mugs and carried them to the couch where Rika was sitting. She held one out and Rika took it then she sat down in a chair across from the couch.

“I am not sure I care what you think anymore,”


“I know that had to have been very shocking for you, I get that, completely understand and I’d have been equally as shaken up if the situations were reversed but you were able to bring me back with chest compressions so how long could I-“

“No, Leila you don’t understand you were really fucking dead.” She said her voice sounding so calm it actually sounded terrified, “Like cold dead, like, not recently dead, like…I was pretty much panicking and being an idiot because I was praying for some miracle to bring you back to life dead. Dead dead. You should be a zombie or at very least a medical miracle and then…not only did you get up without any sort of memory loss or brain damage or anything you FUCKING HEALED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!”

She honestly didn’t have a response to this, mostly because Rika was definitely medically trained enough to absolutely know what death was and a dead body. What chances someone had in way of coming back or being revived. It was easy enough to learn, one of the most basic. Though there were tests that they were all supposed to run to make sure, that was mostly for legal purposes. Rika damn well knew what she was talking about here and Leila was starting to see why this was freaking her out so much.

“Like I said, Pennywise has the power to fix that type of thing and…that must have been what happened. I know it was scary, I don’t doubt it at all but I am fine now. We are sitting here talking and even though it’s very fucking weird…it’ll be okay. I fucked up and that thing that you keep calling a monster saved my life.” She said.

“Why did it take so long? He’s here all the time, isn’t he? Why did he even let you die in the first place?”

“No we just assume he’s here all the time, I’m pretty sure he also has a nest somewhere that he fucks off to when he’s upset with me.” She said, “I actually don’t know if he’s legitimately here all the time and he was angry at me over Mark and I was angry at him. He has the ability to travel other dimensions or probably across the world at the blink of an eye…there could be a thousand reasons I got that dead.”

“Do you remember anything?” Rika asked, “I mean…you were probably dead longer than any actual person who has ever also come back was…in the history of everything.”

“No I…I don’t.” She said and shook her head, “Rika, this is a very odd situation I’ll give you that but he chose to save my life instead of leaving things that way or eat me…does that not tell you anything?” Rika took a deep breath and sipped her tea slowly before relaxing back on the couch and closing her eyes for a moment.

“I thought I was certain of this world you know, all the things in it, and sometimes I would think that maybe you were right about demons and God and everything else and that I was just fooling myself. Maybe it was all superstition and part of my culture but it was okay because it made me feel better and it didn’t inhibit my life so what was the harm. It was why you humored me with all my symbols and rituals and furniture arranging. Then, this happened all of it and I saw that thing and I saw the other side I saw whatever the fuck he or IT is…and you…you’re in this situation and you’re talking to me right now after you came back from the dead like some modern-day Jesus…you’re fine. Better than fine. You completely healed while I watched. That thing, whatever it was saved you instead of letting you go and all I can think or maybe what I choose to believe is that if anyone on this planet can teach a demon how to feel compassion, it’s you.” Rika said then wiped a few tears away, “That doesn’t mean I’m okay with it and that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you, you’re my best friend. You mean more to me than anyone or anything else that I’ve ever known…well other than my own mother, but I guess if you say this is the case and I’ve seen it with my own eyes then this is what’s happening.”

“Rika,” Leila said and put her cup down on the table before moving to the couch, “I love you too and you know I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought there was any other option, you have to believe that right? I know it’s hard but you need to trust me. You have to because all we have right now is trust and all I have right now is you. This is very hard but we will figure it out and we will get through it and I will always be here for you no matter what, I promise.” Rika looked at her and nodded, leaning forward to set her cup down before pulling her into a tight hug. She hugged her back and closed her eyes. She had no actual fucking clue what this was, or if she had taught Pennywise any sort of compassion because she highly fucking doubted it but if thinking that made it easier for Rika to cope with, she’d allow her to think that. It was much better than telling her the truth and what actually most likely happened to them when they died.


After Rika had been sedated and was sleeping, Leila stepped out onto the terrace to have a cigarette and try to relax. She couldn’t shake what she’d just learned about well, everything, or the fact that she had actually been dead. At least according to Rika. Even if she also thought it might be some huge illusion that Pennywise had pulled off, she was more uncertain than ever that was the case and she was very upset that he’d dragged her into this because it was entirely unnecessary and brutal for her to go through that. She heard the door open behind her and turned to look, only to see him there. She got up, not entirely sure it was the best idea ever to have him out there with her but then realized that they were pretty high up and the vast majority of adults couldn’t see him anyway so there was probably no point to worrying. The next thing that kind of confused her was the fact he’d actually used the door instead of just appearing out of thin air. 

“Well, that was really fucked up.” She said. 

“Did not plan on her being a part of this, should have expected her to come back though. She’s very much a parasite in your life isn’t she?” He asked. 

“No, she’s my friend. FRIEND. Not a parasite. You don’t understand any of this because you see all of us as animals or livestock.” Leila replied and then went back to not looking at him. She took a drag from her cigarette and let her eyes scan the city from where she was. She sensed him come up behind her but there was something different now. Nothing she could put her finger on exactly other than the energy around him seemed warmer than it had before. 

“You were good at convincing her that I was not at fault which is surprising as one would think you’d have blamed everything on the monster.” He said. 

“There are some things you don’t want to subject the people you care about to and it was…is…better for her to think that’s what happened than know what actually happened.” Leila sighed. 

“Yes, it would be better to not subject humans to certain things if you care about them but sometimes it is necessary.” He said as if he were trying to make a point. She rolled her eyes, thinking it was just sarcasm or being mean for the sake of it before realizing that maybe what he was trying to say was the whole reason he’d done this to her was because he cared about her which still didn’t make sense because she couldn’t grasp how that was at all possible. Maybe she could accept the fact that he wasn’t a monster and justify that from his point of view because it made sense but caring? The fuck did he know about caring beyond the way a human may care for a lab rat? 

“I’m sorry do you even know what compassion is?” She asked. 

“I believe that I’ve witnessed enough interactions between you and her to understand what you might mean.” He said then walked around so he was standing in front of her, “I also believe that you want me to show you some sort of compassion.” 

“And? Is that so wrong?” She asked, looking up at him. “I am your mate and you keep saying you want to take care of me but you don’t seem to have the first idea how to do that unless it directly pertains to you and your happiness which would, by human standards, make you a psychopath.” 

“Perhaps you should stop judging me by human standards.” 

“Perhaps you should come down to my level and do something to convince me that you actually give a shit about me. You’re right, I don’t understand you and I can’t comprehend you correctly but you don’t even try to dumb it down for me.” She said and stood up, “So, if you want me to think you care or you have anything to offer me beyond this basic deal I made with you not to kill children you might want to try harder. I mean Christ can you even like…mate without doing all that gross tentacle stuff?” 


“What do I need to explain? Tentacles that’s…what it is right? How you are fucking me? You think that’s fun?” She asked. 

“I think it is an interesting interpretation of my mating ritual.” He said then laughed loudly. She growled and took one last drag from her cigarette before snuffing it out in the ashtray out there and stepping towards him. 

“The fuck does that even mean?” She asked. 

“How your mind comprehends and processes the sensations awarded to you during mating is not something I’m controlling that is your problem.” He said. 

“Oh, bullshit,” 

“Maybe it is why I told you it would benefit you not to see me as a monster.” He grinned and reached to stroke her cheek. She looked at him and realized early on that a lot of her experience with him (or of him) was about how her mind comprehended the situation and now he was telling her that what she was experiencing during mating was a result of her own perception. Maybe in the way that since she thought he was a monster and expected this all to be horrific her mind was convincing her of that fact beyond whatever he was actually doing. Perception was key here and it seemed a lot of her perception influenced a lot of her experiences. 

“As of now,” She said, “I have been able to see things from your side or at least understand them better so I have come to believe you are not an actual monster just something that I don’t really understand and maybe in some weird way that I also don’t understand you have some level of compassion for me specifically if only me and not every other human on the planet and I really don’t expect you to ever change your mind on that. So, what you are trying to say is that my perception of you and what you are will also effect well…our sex life?” 

“That is what I am saying,” He said then smiled again, weirdly, seemingly less creepily than she’d seen him do before. Maybe her perception of him was changing. He almost looked cute in the moment…attractive. She closed her eyes, not really believing this. He was still a clown after all but the image in her mind had shifted from monster to…well just a thing that she didn’t understand almost like a scientist who had just discovered an entirely new species. A good thing. An opportunity. She opened her eyes again and he pulled her close to him, placing his mouth over hers. Though she was surprised by this because it seemed to be out of absolutely nowhere, she was more surprised that this kiss was far more what she was accustomed to and there was no invading tentacle tongue. That was until he ended up biting her mouth, like her entire mouth and she pulled back with a squeal, putting a hand to her face to feel tiny little puncture wounds outside of her lips. 

“Okay I didn’t just perceive that you fucking bit me,” She accused. 

“That I cannot deny I do like to bite.” He said then laughed. Alright, that was fucking weird but it was the most normal she’d ever experienced him when it came to that specific situation. She looked him over wondering if the next time they did mate he would just have a normal cock. He was, well, very close to human. 

“Is this your true form?” She asked, motioning to his body before wiping at her mouth, the wounds were there but they were superficial at best. 

“This is one of them but it is true…real if you prefer.” He said, “It does not include these tentacles you accuse me of having that was your own perception.” 

“So you have normal or somewhat normal anatomy under all of that. The costume I mean.” She asked. 


“Huh…” She said she guessed that made sense. “Maybe I’d like to see it sometime.” 

“Like to…” He repeated, “If you are beginning to desire your mate instead of completely fear him then your perception truly has changed.” 

“But don’t you need fear from me to be able to feed or whatever it is you are doing?” 

“I need energy, emotion…” He said, “I am finding thing sexual energy from a mate of my choice sustains me whether there is fear involved or not how interesting.” 

“Yeah…” She said, “But you like fear.” 

“I do…very very tasty…” 

“Where do we even go from here with that information?” She asked, “Because you know how I am with that stuff what fear does for me so is having both a good thing or a bad one?” 

“Very good.” 

“Then I guess we should just continue doing what we have been doing. Maybe it will be a new experience now since my perception of you has changed.” She said and headed towards the door, putting her hand on the handle. She paused and turned back to look at him expecting to find him across the terrace but instead he was about a foot away from her. She gasped in surprise, still not used to his ability to do that. 

“Perception is nine-tenths of reality,” He said. “I am pleased it is changing and this is becoming more of a partnership than Master and pet.” 

“How could I ever be more than just a pet to you?” She asked. 

“You’ll see…” He said then laughed again and vanished. She blinked a few times before stepping back into the penthouse and looking around. He wasn’t wrong, things had definitely changed for the better and for the worse. As she began to accept this and him more and more she was positive it would only be detrimental to herself and her own sanity but she didn’t want to reverse it either. As horrifying as experiencing all of this was, it was also extremely enlightening and erotic and even if she couldn’t believe that she would ever be his partner, or could, she did believe that she had changed and it would only be beneficial from that point moving forward. 

Chapter Twelve

Apparently, Rika’s big solution to this problem was to insist Leila go to church with her. She tried to debate this issue, given that Rika was Buddhist and had merely just gone to Catholic school with her since her parents paid for it, but Rika (for some reason) had decided that priests and holy water were going to better get rid of a demon than anything a Buddhist monk could do. Leila told her she was sure that she was watching way too many horror movies but Rika wouldn’t hear of it. Rambling on and on about how demons hated religious symbols and it was always Christian. Then she pointed out that her whole furniture arrangement hadn’t kept Pennywise out so that was clearly useless. Leila pointed out that she had crosses and a bible in her penthouse and those didn’t seem to repel him either but Rika told her that he probably couldn’t even set foot in a church that was sacred ground. 

The only reason Leila ended up agreeing to go was to shut her up. She kind of hoped that Pennywise would play along with this but she also had a feeling that he wouldn’t and they’d most definitely see him in whatever church they ended up in. Since he wasn’t supernatural as much as he was just an entirely different life form, trinkets from any religion weren’t going to do anything to get him to go away or harm him. Even though Leila had warned her about thinking about how to kill Pennywise, it didn’t seem Rika was intent on letting that line of thought go any time soon. They walked to the church together and once they were inside, Rika had her sit in a pew while she went to find a priest to talk to.

“Leila…did you REEEEEAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY think this was going to work?” Pennywise taunted from behind her. Due to the way churches were designed his voice echoed through the place making it seem even louder than it was. She turned to look at him. It was very unsettling to see a clown man in the middle of an empty church like that. She stood up trying already to think one step ahead of him to whatever he thought he was going to do. If there was a place he could find adults that believed in something like him it would be a damn church. She had a feeling because of all this mating stuff he’d gotten stronger, more visible. He could appear for any reason in front of anyone. She didn’t know and she didn’t want to test it out. 

“Leave.” She tried to order. 

“Perhaps I wish to mate in here…yes…right on the altar.” He said and then grabbed her easily putting her over his shoulder to carry her down the aisle to the front. She screamed out and started to struggle. Out of all the bad ideas, she’d ever heard, this was probably the worst. Especially because he looked like a freaking demon clown. Her reluctance seemed to only fuel him further. He laid her down on the altar and scrambled up over her, pinning her down before she could do much of anything to stop it. 

“P-Please if…if we have to do this can you at very least make sure we don’t get caught? I’ll be arrested.” She whispered, looking around to make sure no one was anywhere close to coming in there. 

“Oh…you don’t want them to see? Hmmmm?” He laughed shaking his head in an oddly unnatural way, and she could swear she heard bells jingling somewhere as if they were attached to him even if she couldn’t actually see bells. She put a hand up to try to push his face away from her but that didn’t work. He growled, drool seeping from his mouth as if she weren’t just his mate she was a meal. He shoved her skirt up easily enough as he sat back a bit on his knees to push her legs further apart she noticed his cock. There was kind of just an opening or maybe tear in the fabric by his crotch where it was supposed to be, nothing more exposing than that though. It was larger than it should be and just as snow white as his makeup, which she supposed was really just his skin, but it was not like the tentacles she had been experiencing before. Far from it. 

Intrigued by this and completely forgetting where she was since that was entirely different than what she expected, she sat up and ran her hand over it, not being able to help herself. He growled and shoved his face into her neck starting to bite at the skin there before snarling in her ear. He was aroused, very aroused, the thing was practically pulsing in her hand and all she knew was she wanted to get it inside of her as quickly as possible. With one quick hand motion, her panties were torn off and he was on top of her again, thrusting into her roughly. She screamed out. Her voice echoing through the sacred hall, she was actually staring up at a crucifix. So much for Rika’s theory on this one. 

“You like that…don’t you?” He purred in her ear as he placed a gloved hand on either side of her, steadying himself with the alter as he started to thrust. Once again there was pain but there was pleasure and she was almost sure she could feel barbs of some type on his cock. She could also be imagining it but she didn’t know. She groaned again, entranced by this, especially the way he was moving. It was erotic but beautiful, not very human-like at all but like an animal rutting into its mate as he panted, growled and drooled on her. She wasn’t even sure those growls were sounds a human could make, it sounded far more like some kind of feral beast. 

“Oh fuck…yes…I like that don’t-don’t stop…” She breathed, this was much better than the times they had mated before, far more arousing. She was aroused enough that after a moment she was slick enough to take that cock with hardly any pain even given the size of it. She felt a hand on the back of her head, pulling her in closer until her face was pressed into his chest and slowly the sensation of the hard alter under them was gone, she whined and struggled a bit, finally able to wrench her head to the side to see they were floating. She gasped, but this position was much more freeing it gave him far more leverage to fuck into her and she didn’t fear falling. This was honestly just astounding. He started to lick and nibbled at her skin, those hundreds of teeth drawing blood before he licked it up and started again, all the while grunting and growling like a dog in heat. 

“Are you ready….Mate?” He hissed in her ear. 

“Oh fuck…fuck yes…please let me cum…” She whined. She wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen after that point, if they’d collapse or stay floating or what but she didn’t care. She was nearly blinded by the pleasure he was causing and if anything she knew she would just pass out again which was also fine. It was only moments later when she felt him cum, it was still some kind of icy then fiery hot rush as he exploded inside of her, causing her to scream and she hit her climax multiple times in under a minute, thrashing against him as he clutched her tightly, possessively. Tight enough she could barely breathe which just seemed to make it a hundred times more intense. As she began to calm she felt his cock slip out of her again and…well possibly retract or whatever because by the time she was being laid back down on the altar there was no trace of it ever being there. He was fully clothed again. He stood up to look down over her, smiling happily. 

“I do believe your little friend was wrong about churches…” He taunted. 

“LEILA!” Rika yelled. She groaned and looked in Rika’s direction but that was all she was really able to do before the pain hit her like a ton of bricks, she supposed Pennywise was going into his usual repairs of her body. Slowly, her gaze focused back on him he was still staring down at her intently. She was vaguely aware of Rika approaching the altar and maybe another voice, a priest. “GET AWAY FROM HER!” The pain suddenly ended and Leila took in a gasp of breath as it passed, very quickly yanking her skirt down to cover herself. As Rika got about a foot away from the altar, Pennywise turned to face her instead, still standing above her, making her look tinier than she ever had given his significant height advantage already coupled with him standing a few feet higher than that. 

“You were the one who wanted to see a trick…weren’t you…Pennywise can do tricks…many many tricks!” He announced then laughed loudly. 

“Get away from her!” Rika ordered. 

“Holy Mother of God you weren’t lying…” The priest said. 

“And you…oh I LOVE an audience!” He chirped clapping his hands together like a giddy child. “Now…Father…do you want to see a trick too?” He asked leaning forward at an incredibly impossible angle, he was on his toes to do this but it was like he was able to defy gravity because he leaned down enough to get a few inches from Rika’s face. 

“Get the fuck away from her!” Rika demanded then looked at the priest, “DO SOMETHING!” 

“I’m not sure there is much…I can do…” The priest muttered. 

“Some fucking Holy man you are!” Rika snapped. 

“Pennywise…don’t,” Leila said softly and sat up. He turned to look in her direction then grinned, showing off what seemed like way too many teeth. They weren’t fangs it just seemed like his mouth was cartoonishly big and so were his teeth. This only lasted a moment before his expression went back to normal and unamused before he looked back at Leila and somewhat floated back to a normal standing position before jumping up, several feet in the air and twisting into a backflip before landing behind Rika. She turned swiftly to face him. 

“Tricks…tricks tricks…what is in my bag of tricks…come one COME ALL they will say to see the amazing Pennywise…” He sang happily. Rika swallowed hard and started to back away from him moving more towards the altar. “STEP RIGHT UP AND SEE THE SHOW!” 

“Alright, can you just calm down a bit?” Leila said, “You know she gets upset easily and you know why…” 

“Calm down? CALM DOOOWNNNN She says….yessss. YESSS! Wouldn’t want anyone to lose their HEADS now WOOOOOULD we?” Pennywise mocked and reached up putting his a hand on either side of his head before yanking upwards. There was a sicking crack and the audible sound of tearing flesh as he very realistically tore his own head off. It wasn’t quick either, he made a real show of it, struggling and twisting to break all the bones, tear the tendons, blood everywhere by that point, Rika screaming like she was losing her mind. The priest had run out of there seconds after this shit had started so he wasn’t going to be of any help. 

“PENNYWISE STOP!” Leila screamed. She scrambled off of the altar and pulled Rika into a hug forcing her to look away from that. Regardless of the fact that it was definitely an illusion it was a really fucking good one. She could even smell all of the blood that was coming from that and she’d never seen him to anything to that level before. His body didn’t even collapse, he just kind of held his head in his hands for a moment before forcefully throwing it in their direction. Leila swatted it down angrily. “ENOUGH!” She ordered. 

Suddenly, he was gone, so was all of the blood and the odd stench of death and maybe even rotting flesh that had occurred during his little trick. She held Rika tightly and looked around for any sign of him but she didn’t see him there, not anymore. That didn’t mean he wasn’t, though. Rika clung to her tightly for a moment, before shoving her back. She looked horrified, then sick, before running towards the bathrooms. Leila chased after her, she wasn’t sure how she was going to explain any of this to that priest if they ever saw him again, but that didn’t matter because her first priority was taking care of her friend. 

When she got into the bathroom she could hear Rika vomiting in one of the stalls. She sighed and walked over to the sink, grabbing one of the courtesy paper cups from the side and filling it with water. The toilet flushed a moment later and Rika stumbled out of the stall. She looked very pale. Leila held the cup of water out of her and she took it with a shaky hand before taking a sip and stumbling over to one of the chairs in the more ‘family’ area of the woman’s room for bringing children. It was in an alcove off to the side with a couch, a table that had some flowers on it, and a few magazines. Leila followed after her and helped her sit down. 

“How can something so fake look so fucking real?” She muttered. 

“I don’t know,” Leila said, “Kind of get used to it…” 

“How many times have you seen him do that because I fucking know it wasn’t a lot.” Rika accused. 

“Alright I’ve never seen him do that but he has done other horrifying shit in front of me I think I’m just getting used to it. Plus, it’s not like I’ve never seen-” 

“When have you seen anything like that?” Rika accused. Leila kept her mouth shut, there was something she had been involved in with Mark that had been equally as disgusting, even if it hadn’t been the same thing and even Rika hadn’t known about it. Even if she could admit that she’d actually been involved in one of the traps that led to a woman’s demise with Mark, she couldn’t admit that right now. It would be too much for Rika to handle. No one had ever found out anyway, Mark had covered their tracks so it looked like one of his kills. 

“I’ve seen dead bodies, mutilated ones, crime scenes, I haven’t seen exactly that but you know I’ve seen some horrific stuff in my line of work.” She said, “It is something you get used to if you like it or not but I’m still disgusted, and horrified. I don’t know why he did that.” 

“Because he wants me to leave,” Rika said, “He’s been going at it since…well since I’ve refused to leave. I don’t know how much more I can take, and despite the fact that you seem to handle it well I can’t this isn’t something I can do, Leila.” 

“I understand,” She replied, “I’m not sure I could put up with it if I was in your position.” 

“But I can’t just abandon you with this crazy ass clown who…what was he even going to do to you on that altar?” Rika asked. 

“I don’t know,” Leila lied, relieved that it seemed that the whole fucking in a church part had been completely missed by the priest and her friend, “You came in before he could do much of anything.” 

“I’m not going to abandon you okay I just…I need some time off and to go halfway across the world back to Japan where he isn’t hanging out. I need time to myself.” She said, “If I lose my sanity I won’t be any help to you anyway.” 

“Alright. We’ll still keep in touch you can call or text or whatever like we always do.” Leila said. This did worry her because she was pretty sure that even Rika had a breaking point. She was surprised to hear that he’d been doing stuff like this since she’d been staying there. She was probably having horrible nightmares and vicious encounters with Pennywise and never breathing a word of it. She was going through hell for this, and Leila didn’t want to lose her either. “I’ll talk to him.” 

“Yeah, because he totally listens to you and what you want,” Rika said. She finished the water then stood up, “Don’t worry, I’ll leave quickly. It’ll just be you and your clown monster for a good, long while.” She tossed the cup out and left quickly. Leila went to follow her but before she could catch up, Pennywise appeared in front of her. It was so quick that she actually ran into him hard enough to stumble back and fall. 


“She wanted to see a trick…I gave her a trick.” Pennywise said then grinned evilly. 

“Please….listen to me, there are 7 billion humans on this planet you can fuck with you can’t leave just ONE OF THEM ALONE?” She ended the last part in an angry scream even though she hadn’t meant to. 

“One….or all?” 

“What are you getting at?” Leila asked and got to her feet. 

“Perhaps I could be persuaded to leave that one alone should I be able to snack now and then.” He offered. 

“I thought you said you didn’t need-” 

“Mmmm I do not need it no, not with you as a mate but it is my nature you know. As it is your nature to protect it is mine to hunt. I could leave that one alone more easily if you…allowed me to give in to that predatory instinct every once in a while.” He said. She growled and looked away from him. Could she really allow him to start killing in order to spare Rika from some horrible clown induced mental breakdown? Did the needs of the many really outweigh the needs of the few? Would it actually matter in the long run because she was ultimately very mortal and he’d eventually just go back to killing anyway? 

“Adults can see you now, can’t they? That’s how powerful I’ve made you?” She asked. 

“That they can.” He grinned. 

“Only adults, only a few here and there, and clean up after yourself because if it’s ever traced back to me-” 

“It will not…no need to worry.” He said then leaned forward and patted her on the head. She glared at him and slapped his arm away before shoving past him trying to follow Rika anyway to make sure she’d be okay before she took off. It was a bitter pill to swallow, most definitely, but she loved Rika and maybe she was willing to sacrifice strangers in order to make sure her best friend in the world was safe from harm. 

Chapter Thirteen

Due to the fact that Rika had decided to go back home for a while (and Leila couldn’t blame her) Leila was left alone with Pennywise. It was always in the back of her mind what had been said about Mark not only still being alive but hanging around. If that was the case he was doing a good job of staying out of her line of sight. Not that she was surprised considering that he’d only survived as a killer for so long by learning stealth and staying out of the way. He was a huge guy and one would normally think that someone his size couldn’t possibly be quiet but he was really good at it. Had learned a lot over his time working with John…otherwise the man people called Jigsaw. 

She’d only met John once, and didn’t realize until far after that point that she’d been talking to Jigsaw. It was at a party that Mark had gotten her to go to a charity benefit. His wife ran some sort of drug rehab clinic and needed donations, to which she gave generously because she thought it was a good cause. Not to mention the fact that the clinic had a very high success rate and Leila could get behind that. Ironically, Jill had been the one to try to attempt to kill Mark which had led to Leila causing the death of Jill. She’d justified it as self-defense when it was actually cold-blooded murder and it was exactly the thing Pennywise had preyed upon when he’d brought up the fact that people called her a monster. 

She’d never been called a monster for that specific reason. Everyone thought Mark had killed Jill which was fine in terms of legalities but she’d always questioned herself on that one. Was she a monster? Public opinion of her being so awful only caused her to rehash the idea over and over and then it died down. It was buried in the back of her mind. That was until Pennywise had appeared and she’d been so desperate not to cause the life of any other living being, no matter what, she’d become his concubine. All because of what she’d gone through with Mark and done to Jill. Ultimately, she knew it wasn’t up to her to decide if anyone lived or died, that Mark was wrong for what he did no matter how he justified it or how much it aroused her. 

Now, all she had was herself. Pennywise was making himself scarce, at least in ways she could see. Her dreams were very disturbing, not exactly nightmares but not fun either. She sometimes wondered if he had control of those too and was trying to acclimate her more to his way of thinking. Bring her more into his world. It wasn’t a world she wanted to be in, not really. A world of murder, suffering, pain, and cannibalism. It wasn’t appealing to her. Not beyond some sort of twisted sexual fantasy that was all fictional, to begin with. That was, she used to think that. Now she wasn’t so sure with how much she was attracted to this demonic clown from God only knew where or what dimension. 

She was headed home from the subway station one night after work feeling more run down than she usually did when she heard a rustling in the alley by her building. Letting curiosity get the better of her despite the fact that she was exhausted, she pulled her mini flashlight from her pocket and turned it on before heading in that direction. Something was telling her she needed to check out what that noise was even if she couldn’t figure out why she felt this way. When she got back there she shone her light around but didn’t really see anything. 

“Hello?” She called, “I’m a federal agent so if you’re back here then you need to show yourself right now, I am armed.” She paused and slowly started to reach for her gun as she observed her surroundings. 

“No need for that, Leila,” A voice spoke after a long moment. She knew that voice and would have known it anywhere. Her hand started to shake and a moment later the flashlight fell from it and rolled away from her. Before she could even think about bending over to pick it up, he was doing it for her. “Hey look I know I haven’t really…been around but it was for your own protection.” 

“Mark,” she whispered as he held the flashlight back out to her. It lit his face briefly and she could see the scar on his cheek. The one from the wound she had stitched up the night Jill had tried to kill him. “You need to keep staying away.” 

“Leila don’t do this,” He said, “I’m not going to hurt you I haven’t killed anyone since-” 

“That’s not why.” She said and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and took a step back, “If you come anywhere near me you’ll be in grave danger.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Mark asked. “Who got to you? Why are you scared? Not that I think this is a great idea to bring up right now but I’m a serial killer, do you think I fear anyone?” 

“This isn’t a person it’s a thing,” She whispered. “I have to go and you can’t follow me. I’m sorry Mark.” She turned and headed out of the alley but as expected, that didn’t work because why would it? He was the love of her life after all and she’d assumed that he was dead for so long. Well, logically thought that even if emotionally she’d never let him go and always held out hope that he’d come back. A decade had passed and now here he was but she couldn’t have him any longer it was too late. She didn’t want to think about the horrific type of pain and suffering Pennywise could put him through if she disobeyed his commands to stay away from Mark. 

“Okay either you’ve gone completely insane or you need to explain yourself far better.” He said walking after her, not seeming too concerned about other people maybe seeing him. To be fair, she was legally dead and no one could arrest him for just looking like Mark Hoffman. That guy was long since gone. In the eyes of the law, Mark Hoffman didn’t exist, and she was sure he walked around all the time like this. What could anyone do? He more than likely just hid himself from her so she wouldn’t notice. 

“How long?” She asked. 

“How long what?” 

“How long have you been doing this? Watching me? Following me around? And why? Why do this for ten fucking years and never say a word to me?” She asked but kept walking didn’t even try to turn to look at him because she knew she’d be too drawn into him to be able to stop herself if she looked into those beautiful blue eyes again. 

“It wasn’t safe to reveal myself at first and you know it. Then you went through all those trials and you were being watched. By the time they declared me legally dead I felt too much time had passed, maybe you’d moved on or you wouldn’t want me to come back. I kept swearing to myself that I’d do it but then a few weeks turned into a few months and those turned into years and…I lost my nerve.” He said, “It was wrong and I know it was wrong but can’t you at least try to forgive me instead of making up these bullshit claims that something is after you or me or whatever the fuck is going on here?” 

“Where were you when I was in Maine?” She asked. 

“What?” he asked, “I was there but…I just kind of stay out of the way I don’t do much unless it’s clear you need to be protected. You do a good job of taking care of yourself if it’s any consolation. You’ve become an amazing agent and I couldn’t be more proud-” 


“Sewers?” He asked. 

“You didn’t notice something was off? I was gone for…” She paused. It had felt like days, but really it could have only been a few hours and would he have really noticed that? She stopped walking and felt him put a hand on her shoulder gently. 

“I never saw a clown,” He said, “I did see you go into those sewers, you were only in there for a short time before you came out. You looked like a mess but you were out then you just got in your car and left. I followed you back home. I mean…what was I supposed to do? It was weird but considering the rumors running around that place I didn’t find it surprising you went to check out the sewers.” 

“Shit,” she whispered, “There was…is a clown and he’s not human and he’s like…attached to me somehow and if you…you get too close he’ll kill you.” 

“This is absurd you think I believe any of that?” Mark asked. She paused again. Even if adults could now see Pennywise more easily, still a lot of that was heavily based on if they believed in him or not and Mark of all people most definitely didn’t believe in that shit. If Mark didn’t believe in Pennywise he’d have no power. 

“No, I don’t think you believe it.” She said slowly, “And you need to keep not believing it.” 

“That should be pretty easy,” He laughed and pulled her into a tight hug. It felt so warm and so familiar that she couldn’t help herself from melting into it and hugging him back tightly as she started to cry. Maybe this was just the thing she needed right now. Mark’s strength. Though she did believe she could eventually talk him into believing her about Pennywise, if he didn’t, he’d be safe and he could still be with her. There’d be nothing Pennywise could even do about it and that was the thing she was banking on the most. 


When they got into her penthouse she saw Pennywise standing there in the corner like the bizarre way he had become a statue when Rika had come over for the first time. He was definitely in plain sight and Mark paid no attention to him. Leila knew if Mark could see him he’d have made a comment, probably a joke, because a Pennywise statue would have been in glaringly poor taste to what he was used to in this penthouse, but he said nothing and he looked at that corner like absolutely nothing was there. She decided she was just going to play along with that to keep him protected. It wasn’t as if Pennywise bothered her anymore because she’d gotten used to him quite a while ago. 

“Let me get you some coffee.” She said, “Make yourself comfortable.” 

“See you didn’t really redecorate this place since I left,” Mark said, “I really did think you moved on at least a bit. You still have our wedding photo.” He motioned to it on the shelf right behind where Pennywise was standing. She couldn’t see it herself because his form was blocking it but Mark could see it, so he was seeing through Pennywise. She smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. 

“You know how stubborn I can be with certain things and I didn’t want to believe you were dead or all of this was over.” She told him and started to make his cup of coffee, “What have you been doing? Just following me around forever?” 

“I don’t stalk you all the time, if that’s what you mean, I stay close by.” He said, “If you’re wondering about money or anything like that…John made sure I was very well compensated after the final games and I budgeted wisely so that hasn’t really been an issue for me. I have not killed or hurt anyone since the last games, I swear.” 

“That’s good.” She said. He unzipped his jacket and pulled it off before draping it over the back of the couch and taking a seat. Leila watched him and saw Pennywise approached him menacingly, getting right in his face and opening his mouth, baring his many fangs as his eyes rolled back in his head. Mark just sat there relaxed as ever like nothing was happening. “I missed you…a lot.” 

He can’t see me… She heard Pennywise’s voice in her head. It was a statement, not a question like he was coming to the realization that he had no power over a human that absolutely didn’t believe in him. 

He doesn’t believe in that stuff he has no reason to think you are here or real Leila informed him. She took the mug of coffee from the Keurig and walked it over to Mark, holding it out to him while Pennywise still remained over him with his mouth wide baring his fangs. Mark reached up and took it and took a sip and she walked to the other side of the couch trying to be casual about avoiding Pennywise before sitting down herself. 

“I really am proud of you,” Mark said and took a sip of the coffee. Pennywise moved back and his face reverted to his more normal clown form. He started to pace angrily in front of them, reaching out a clawed hand to drag over the wall. Leila could hear it, even see it doing damage but Mark saw and heard nothing. That was kind of interesting, she wondered if the damaged was merely just an illusion or if he couldn’t damage what he wanted because he didn’t have the power, or at least only had half of it in the moment. She wasn’t scared of him even if she believed in him and Mark didn’t believe in him at all. 

“Mark I don’t think that…I mean…it’s been ten years you can’t come back here and just expect me to act like everything is still okay.” She said, “The way you left, what I went through after that, what I did to Jill-” 

“I know, I get it,” Mark said then took another sip of his coffee before setting the mug down on the coffee table. Pennywise started to grab books from her shelves and throw them across the room. She continued to ignore this tantrum and Mark continued to be completely unaware of it. “You don’t have to be in love with me or sleep with me or do anything romantic.” He reached over and took her hand looking at it, and she knew what he was doing because she still wore her wedding and engagement ring from him. 

“I just don’t know how I feel right now.” She said, “I’m…confused.” 

“Is that why you made up that stupid clown story?” he asked then laughed and pulled her a bit closer to him. 

“Yes and I mean I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.” She leaned into him, at least that part wasn’t a lie. She was very stressed out learning to become a concubine to what was essentially a demon while also coming to terms with the fact that she kind of liked him now and didn’t want to get rid of him, regardless of how he was behaving at the moment and throwing a tantrum. 

“Well, if you want to get rid of me you’re going to need to do far more than that,” He said leaning in like he was about to attempt to kiss her. She leaned in as well, she wanted this kiss because of how badly she was craving something normal in her life. As abnormal as the situation with Mark was it was still far more normal than trying to have a romantic relationship with an evil clown. 

NO! She looked up for a moment and saw Pennywise right behind Mark, it was startling but she certainly wasn’t afraid. She leaned in to kiss him anyway and the moment she did she heard screams in her head. Painfully loud, demonic, and suffering screams of the damned all echoing through her skull. It was as if she had millions of tortured souls stuffed in there writhing and twisting in pain. She was only able to tolerate it for a moment before pulling back from the kiss. 

Please stop…stop please stop Pennywise… She begged putting a hand to her head trying to focus with all the noise going on in there. 

Then get away from him, NOW! Pennywise commanded. She stood up and took a step back putting her hand up to signal to Mark not to get up and do anything to try to further this interaction. The screams and pain slowly dissipated until it didn’t feel like she had a flaming trainwreck from hell trapped beneath her skull. 


“Mark I…I just need a little more time. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to start up with that again before we discuss a few things. Besides, I don’t entirely trust you won’t just vanish again after we do. How could I?” She asked him, trying to make this sound believable as possible. 

He may not be able to see me or hear me but you can and I can do wonderful nightmarish things to you to get you to behave…pet. 

“Alright, that’s fair enough,” Mark said, “I wish it was different because I would like to be with you again but I understand the situation. Should I just go, then? Give you a bit of time to mull things over?” 

“Are you going to come back?” She asked. 

“I can be here tomorrow, for lunch. It’s Saturday after all.” He said. She nodded and took in a deep breath. 

“Yes,” she said, “Coming back to see me at regular intervals will help me start to trust you again.” He nodded and got up then grabbed his jacket and pulled it on again. He walked towards her and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head before letting her go. 

“I’ll see you then, I promise.” He said and headed for the elevator. She watched him wanting to beg him to stay, stay there and hold her never let her go and they could just be together and he could protect her from this demon clown but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to risk his life in order to better her own. She sensed Pennywise behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder and gripping it painfully tight. “I’ll see you later.” He smiled and the elevator doors closed. 

“He will not be coming back.” Pennywise said. 

“Like hell…” Leila hissed and yanked away from him, “You can’t do anything to him, you can’t harm him or kill him, what the fuck are you going to do to stop him?” 

“I can do things to you…horrible…wonderful things. So many things you have no idea you have seen NOTHING YET!” He threatened, his words full of venom and flecks of his saliva hitting her skin. 

“You can do anything you want to me but you won’t kill him and you need me, like it or not you want me now and you won’t hurt me no matter how much you don’t like him.” She hissed back at him and headed into the kitchen. She needed something to eat. 

“I do not NEED you human I do not NEED anyone.” He taunted. 

“Alright then kill me, go ahead.” She said, “I’m done being afraid of you and letting you control the people I do or don’t see. Mark was my husband…my mate, LONG before you came here.” 

“But I am your mate now,” 

“Not by a choice I wanted to make,” She snapped. 

“But you do not wish for me to leave I know that much about you, I hear it, I feel it in your pathetic little bleeding human heart,” He teased. He wasn’t wrong about that she hated herself for it but she knew he wasn’t wrong. “What is so appealing about that one? Hmmm? He is not stronger than I am, smarter, more powerful, better. What does that human have that I cannot provide to you ten times more?” 

“He loves me and you don’t have the ability.” She said and pulled some leftovers from the fridge so she could heat them up. She was too exhausted at that point to even attempt cooking something fresh. She heard Pennywise growl. 

“Wasteful, useless emotion, there is no need for love with my kind,” 

“But there is a need with mine and I told you already if you want me to survive and feed you be your mate which you definitely want, for an extended period of time then you need to provide me with these things. Deny me them, and your days are numbered. If you really want to kill me because you can’t stand him, then you do that I really don’t care anymore. My life is ruined enough as it is with you around.” She told him and shoved the food into the microwave. 

“Then I will learn to provide you with this…love myself.” 

“You can’t learn love you either have the ability or don’t and I’m one hundred percent sure if you haven’t learned the concept yet you never will.” She told him. 

“Do not presume to tell me what I can and cannot learn! I am everything I am your world and I will become what you need…no matter the cost.” He warned her. She could tell how determined he sounded and though she did very much doubt he could learn the concept of human love she now completely feared whatever he believed was love in his own form and what he was going to be doing to prove it to her. Maybe this had been a mistake because this was only going to lead to more problems down the line, horrible problems, and she feared that even if she had won this battle by allowing Mark to stay around her there was no way she was going to win the war. 

Chapter Fourteen

The next morning Leila got up at seven, her usual time. Even though it was the weekend and she didn’t need to get up she was on a such a rigid schedule that she found if she didn’t keep true to it then everything else got messed up in the process. She showered and brushed her teeth then headed out into her bedroom to get dressed. She dressed casual, jeans and a tank top, not even bothering with a bra. Her hair was down because it was still wet and she worked on brushing it as she headed down the stairs into her kitchen so she could make breakfast. She decided she’d have something nice and home cooked for once instead of a bowl of cereal or a pop tart and a cup of coffee.

As she cooked herself a nice omelet and a few pancakes she played music. It was just her usual playlist a mix of Bon Jovi and Journey and a few other random 80s songs that she happened to like. She sang softly to herself as she worked trying to forget how fucked up her life was for just a brief moment because she knew if she thought too hard about it, then she’d only drive herself insane and make it worse. It was nice to have this time to herself. Pennywise had fucked off to well, she didn’t care where, and Mark wasn’t supposed to be there for another few hours so she probably had time to get things done or at very least continue the book she’d been trying to read forever.

It wasn’t until she was washing the dishes that things started to change and get more back to the chaos that it had been over the past few weeks. It started with her thinking she heard something moving around behind her. She could sense it too but when she turned to look, there was nothing there. Thinking it was just Pennywise again, trying to fuck with her, she rolled her eyes and went back to what she was doing. Suddenly she was grabbed from behind, a hand clasped over her mouth tightly as she was pulled close to a body. It wasn’t a gloved hand, it was most definitely Mark’s hand and he was pressing into her enough that she knew he was aroused which really only fueled her arousal even if she hated that she had such a programmed response to him. Even after ten years.

“All alone?” He breathed in her ear, “I thought you’d be better prepared than this…” He’d always been considerably bigger and stronger than her so she wasn’t surprised when he was able to move her towards the couch. She struggled a bit, but not nearly as hard as she could. She missed this a lot, but it was considerably more dangerous considering Pennywise could be anywhere around there and if he wasn’t he could return at any time. She squirmed and got out of his grasp, turning to look at him bringing a hand up to slap him (which wasn’t abnormal in their rough sex play). He grabbed her wrist and started to walk her back towards the nearest wall.

“Mark…” She said.

“What was that?” he asked, staring down at her as he backed her up, “It certainly wasn’t our safe word.” He was right, she hadn’t used the safe word or any of the other physical indicators they had to get him to stop if she wasn’t able to speak, mostly because she didn’t want it to stop. She continued back towards the wall since she wasn’t exactly a match for him handling her like that but instead of her back hitting the wall it hit someone…something else.

She gasped, nearly screaming when she realized she was pressed up against Pennywise and he was towering over her, Mark as well since he was a bit taller than the guy even if he was considerably slimmer. Mark didn’t seem to notice this at all because he pulled her into a kiss a moment later and not wanting to freak him out she just kissed him back as she waited for Pennywise to make his move or do something horrible to get this to stop.

He wishes to mate with you this is your…mating ritual

Yes. It’s kind of private so…go away?

Perhaps I would like to observe. Or participate.

She moaned into the kiss trying to step away from Pennywise but he wasn’t having that, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into him so she couldn’t move. She really had no idea why he was allowing this, maybe it was just out of curiosity. The other night she had said that she loved Mark and he loved her and then there was an insistence from Pennywise that he would learn what this love was and he would be able to provide it for her. Though she did love Mark what was going on now was more animal lust than anything loving, not that she didn’t equally love him like this, but she really didn’t need to confuse Pennywise further with these concepts when he already didn’t understand them to begin with.

Mark started to open her jeans as he kissed her, attempting to force them down. She tried to put her hands over his and stop him. He slapped her hands away, pulled back from the kiss, and grabbed her by the throat. He looked into her eyes firmly. She looked back at him. It was a hold, not a choke, but it entirely prevented her from being able to move her head or really do anything other than look right at him.

“You didn’t miss Daddy after all this time?” He taunted her.

“N-No that’s…that’s not it I just…”

“You’re telling me you don’t want this?” he asked, his free hand still working on her pants enough to get them down. It wasn’t like he needed them down far, just enough that he could get her panties down as well and penetrate her. “Well I think my little girl still remembers the safeword if she needs it, doesn’t she?”

“Yes but…”

“But what?” He hissed and started to kiss her again. She groaned into the kiss, almost unable to resist his dominance and the familiarity of this act that she’d craved for so long, especially not from a demon clown. His hand worked to get her panties down as well and he stepped closer to her. She groaned then gasped when she felt something poking at her ass, and there was no way it was Mark’s cock.


I know you are enjoying this…aren’t you?

Leila let out a muffled squeal but there wasn’t much she could do to stop either of them considering how they both had her pinned and the moment Mark thrust into her cunt Pennywise pushed into her ass. She screamed out in pleasure and pain, and as weird as this all was she didn’t think she’d ever been in more pleasure. Mark pulled back from the kiss to look at her, grabbing her arms. He pushed them up over her head and held her wrists together with one hand, pinning them back. Though she could only assume he thought she was against the wall, she wasn’t and that’s when she felt Pennywise run his gloved hands up over her sides, then tits, then arms so he was holding her wrists as well, keeping her there. They both started to thrust and IT seemed to be matching the same exact pace as Mark.

She was overstimulated beyond words at that point, but she definitely knew they were both there and felt both of them. Mark was none the wiser, though, and he continued with his thrusts, but the faster he went the faster Pennywise went. It was like some odd competition to see who could do it better. Mark moved his mouth to her neck starting to lick at the skin there, then bite it. Her moans were nearly continuous at that point, her legs trembling fiercely, and if she hadn’t had two very strong guys holding her up like they were she most definitely would have collapsed. She could hear animal-like growls coming from the clown behind her. No more words, but there didn’t really need to be any. They nearly eclipsed Mark’s own sounds of pleasure but she could still hear them and her vision began to tunnel as her senses became overloaded.

It didn’t take long to hit her climax and she did so with a loud scream, louder than she believed she could physically make. Part of it was pleasure, part of it was horror, part of it was pain. She wasn’t sure which sensation was more dominant at the moment but she’d lost the ability to control any of it and it was only moments after this that she ended up blacking out.


The next thing she was aware of was laying on the couch, her eyes opening, as she took in a loud gasp of air. Mark was over her, looking concerned. The moment her brain processed that it was him there and she couldn’t see Pennywise immediately in the general vicinity she clamored to pull him into tight hug. She buried her face into his chest and started to cry. What the hell was that? What had really happened? Was she insane enough that she had to have Pennywise in her brain while fucking Mark? Or had he actually been there with her, fucking her, Mark just wasn’t able to see him?

“Hey…it’s okay,” He said and held her close starting to stroke her hair, he laughed softly, “You must have cum really hard, wasn’t expecting that but I will take it as a compliment.”

“You-that’s what….you didn’t see anything weird?” She asked and started to calm herself before pulling back to look up at him.

“No,” He laughed, “Well I mean I suppose I can’t say I’ve ever seen you cum like that before, or well…not for a very long time. Usually I have to put a lot more teasing and effort into it.” He leaned in and kissed her softly before helping her lay back down on the couch. She looked around, trying to figure out where Pennywise even was. She was kind of shocked that he’d actually fucked her in the ass. For whatever reason she’d assumed he wouldn’t be into that but now she was wondering why she thought that. He wasn’t human, he probably didn’t care what hole he stuck it in if it got him off…as well as her.

“It has been ten years,” She laughed breathlessly.

“You haven’t been with anyone in ten years?” He asked, “Seriously?”

“Not another man,” She said and closed her eyes, “Rika…”

“Rika doesn’t really count you’d been doing that since before you met me, and when you met me, and when we were married…”

“I get the point,” She laughed. Though Rika had been really skeptical of Mark, even before Leila had married him, they had managed to have a few threesomes together because Mark certainly wasn’t going to turn that down and neither was she.

You’ve mated with that other female?

How did you not know that?

I suppose I didn’t understand that was mating as it cannot lead to procreation in your species.

Leila was annoyed she now had to deal with Mark and put up with Pennywise asking her stupid shit while she also couldn’t pinpoint any actual location of him directly in the room. She didn’t like how he did that, or when, if she was going to have a conversation with him she much preferred having the ability to vocalize it and if she couldn’t have that she liked to see him when they were communicating so she could analyze his body language. His tone of voice was almost never an indicator of how he felt, unless he was angry, but all that happened then was he got louder.

“Well, I’m glad it was that good for you.” He said.

“Wait, have you been with other women?” Leila asked, “Or…men?”

“Not into men.” He smiled, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that I’m just not…as for other women, no. At first, it was too dangerous to even attempt and then I just didn’t want to. Still felt married to you all this time and it felt wrong.” She smiled sadly and reached up to stroke his face before letting her arm fall back down. She was exhausted but whatever had transpired since the point she had passed out to the point she’d woken up, Pennywise had definitely healed her. At least Mark hadn’t seen that and if he had it wasn’t something he’d noticed as odd.


Mates for life

But did you not also mate with that other female?

Her name is Rika and human mating rituals are complicated I cannot get into this right now how the fuck did you not know what marriage is?

Do not take that tone with me…Pet.

“How did you even get in here?” Leila asked, “You need a keycard.”

“I didn’t spend years as the Jigsaw apprentice without learning how to get into any building I wanted to get into undetected.” He said, “My secrets are my own, don’t you worry about that. Besides, I don’t really hear you complaining.”

“I suppose I’m not but have you been in here before without me knowing?”

“What do you think?”

“My answer to that is going to be yes, but at the same time I’d like to think I’d have noticed if someone was in here without my knowledge.” She sighed. Still, Mark was very good at what he did especially sneaking around (even if one would think he couldn’t be good at that given his size). If he was doing that or had done it, then there was a good chance she’d have never noticed unless he wanted her to and the fact of the matter was he hadn’t ever wanted her to notice. Not until now. “I’m still not sure I want to start things up with you again. I’m sorry I just…it’s not going to be that easy.”

“Does this have something to do with that clown story you told me?”

“Mark…” She said then sat up and took his hands. It was very hard not to explain this to him, not to specifically tell him to a point where he did believe. Even if he was a lot like her, so skeptical it was painfully annoying, she knew that she could get him to understand if she tried hard enough. The thing was, his disbelief in that story was the only thing protecting him and that’s what she needed more than him believing her.

You think you can get him to believe you

I know I can but I don’t want to. You’ll kill him.

Oh I promise I would never do a thing like that…. The statement was very sarcastic, so much that she could almost taste it and then it was followed by his loud demonic clown laugh echoing through her head making her wince a bit.

“Leila,” Mark said, “I don’t know what’s going on here or what happened in those sewers that upset you so much but maybe you need to see someone…for help.”

“I don’t need to see anyone for help,” Leila said, “I know what reality is and I know what fiction is and I also know that this clown thing that I saw was real. What’s imparitive here is that you never believe me.”

“Good because I don’t.” He kissed her forehead then got up and headed into the kitchen, “But if someone like you is so sure of herself and what she saw-“

“Don’t, don’t even think it, I’m sure I’m wrong and it’s just stress.” She insisted, “Can you just…leave for a bit? I need some time to myself to figure this out.”

“Is that it? Or do you want to be alone with this clown delusion? Maybe that’s exactly what you don’t need. I might be able to get into here undetected but I won’t be able to get into a room with padded walls as simple.” He told her and got a bottle of water from her fridge and opened it, “Can you take a vacation? I know you haven’t had time off for a while. Except those few days you took after you got back from Maine but you just stayed here. That hardly constitutes as vacation time. Knowing you, it was sick days that you used.”

“I don’t think a vacation is going to fix this problem.” She sighed.

“Why not?” he asked, “We’ll go together, maybe Hawaii or the Bahamas or something.”

“This isn’t the kind of problem you can run away from,” She said.

“How do you know unless you try?” he asked, “I’m worried about you and mostly all you do now is go to work and come home and that’s about it. You’re having your food delivered, you have almost no contact with anyone. I may not be a sex crimes expert but you’re definitely acting like you were assaulted in those sewers and you are afraid of the outside world.”

“Maybe I’m more afraid what I’ll unleash into it when I leave…” She muttered.


“Nothing.” She said, “Just…give me some space right now and I promise I’ll think about this vacation.” Pennywise appeared behind Mark, glaring at him, he definitely wanted the guy to leave and Leila wasn’t surprised by this. Oddly enough he more looked like he was pouting in the moment than trying to be scary. It was cute in a way, but then she found herself feeling kind of sick that she even thought that.

“Alright, but I’m coming back.” He insisted, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you and I’m not leaving like that again. That’s over. This is now, our new start.” She forced a weak smile and nodded.

“It’s just going to take some getting used to, that’s all.” She said, “Please just-“

“I know, I know, I’m going.” He said and started to walk towards the elevator the whole while Pennywise just standing there pouting like a neglected puppy. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” She said and weakly waved in his direction as he got on the elevator and the doors closed. When he was gone she sat up and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. When she dropped her hands, Pennywise was standing right across from her which caused her to yelp and jump back slightly.

“You don’t seem to like him as much as he likes you.” Pennywise said.

“Because I can’t or you’ll kill him or me, who the fuck knows.” She replied, “Why does it matter and what was that all about?”

“It was observational, nothing more…nothing less. Never bothered to attempt to watch humans mate like that in the past.” He said, “Not something that interests me unless it results in food.”

“You mean a child?” She asked and got up to head into the kitchen, she needed something to drink herself.

“Do you not want offspring with your mate?” He asked.

“Do you mean you or do you mean Mark?” she asked, not wanting to get trapped into some insane pregnancy via demon clown sperm but she supposed that she may not have a choice if that was ultimately what Pennywise really wanted.

“I mean him, your former mate.”

“No, I never wanted offspring.” She said. “Doesn’t appeal to me.”

“Then why mate at all?”

“Why do you mate with me?” She snapped, “I don’t know, it’s a pleasurable activity for humans regardless if they reproduce or not. Maybe that’s why?”

“It serves a purpose for me, it feeds me.” he said, “It does very little for you other than provide pleasure. That is enough for you to continue even without the desire of offspring?”

“That’s what motivates a lot of humans.” She told him and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, “It also has a lot to do with this emotion called love that you in no way understand.”

“But I will understand it, he will show me.” Pennywise insisted.

“First of all, you can’t learn love you either have it or you don’t, there’s a term for that in the human language. Psychopath, sociopath, anti-social personality disorder whatever. You, Pennywise, have no empathy, no concern for anyone’s feelings but your own and if that’s the case then you do not have the ability to love. Not like him.” She explained and then opened the bottle of water and took a few gulps.

“I can learn anything I want to learn silly girl.” He teased following her into the kitchen and easily hopping up on the counter to stand on it as he looked down at her. She sighed and glanced at his shoes which were dirty.

“Could you not stand on my counter?” She asked and walked back towards the couch.


“Your gross shoes, I don’t know where they’ve been now I’m going to have to bleach that entire area.” She said.

“I will learn this thing called love I can learn it, I am powerful more than all of you every human combined.” He insisted.

“I think that’s the one thing you can’t do.” Leila said, “You are powerful very powerful but you are not more powerful than love.” She sat down and he appeared next to her sitting on the couch. She looked over at him and took a few more sips of water. It was pretty terrifying to think of what he may define as love. What behavior he’d consider that to be. As much as she didn’t want to know, the psychiatrist part of her kind of did but she was already aware she shouldn’t be asking questions she didn’t want to know the answer to because he’d most definitely give her what she sought.

“I am as powerful as I want to be and I will learn this…love and if not I will make you learn to love me.” He hissed then reached over and grabbed her throat tightly. He held her in a choke for a moment before vanishing again. She gasped, bringing her hand up to her neck as she tried to regain her composure. This wasn’t good and she didn’t like the sound of that at all.

Chapter Fifteen

Later that night she was laying in bed trying to read a book while Pennywise paced back and forth in front of it. She didn’t know what his problem was but he wasn’t trying to tell her anything either, even after she’d tried to ask. Eventually, he just became far too distracting for her to actually comprehend the words in the book. She placed her bookmark between the pages and shut it before getting up and stepping in front of him so he’d be forced to stop pacing. He growled at her but she put her hand on his chest gently. 

“Pennywise, how about I help you relax?” She asked. 

“What could you do to help me with anything?” He snapped at her. She sighed and reached up to stroke his hair softly wondering if that might help but it ended up only getting her growled at and almost bit. She yanked her hand back quickly. Even though he had yet to actually bite her, at least in a serious manner that would have left her injured, she still didn’t trust he wouldn’t do it if he could catch her with his teeth. 

“What about if I pleasure you…with my mouth?” She suggested. It was the one thing she could think of, and the one thing she hadn’t tried yet that she kind of wanted to try. She was very curious as to how he’d respond to that. A situation where they weren’t mating, entirely, and she wasn’t getting pleasure. At least not as much as she normally would get if she was being fucked by him, but she couldn’t imagine that he’d ever had anyone offer that and if he had it couldn’t have been for a very long time. 

“And what would that accomplish?” he asked. 

“I think it would help you relax.” She said, “Even if you aren’t particularly sure of why you are so stressed out, to begin with.” 

“I am not stressed I do not get stressed I am thinking,” He insisted. 

“Well, then this will help you think better because it will make you calmer.” She told him. He stared at her as if she’d just said the dumbest thing in the universe. She kind of liked when he got that look on his face it was halfway between stupid and annoyed it almost made her laugh, even if she was sure it would be terrifying to literally anyone else if he looked at them that way. She slipped down to her knees while he continued to stare at her and moved to put her hands to his crotch when she realized there wasn’t really any way to open his clown…outfit? Costume? Suit? She wasn’t sure what the best word for it would be really. 

“Seems like someone didn’t figure everything out…” he teased her. She glared up at him and then frowned. Hadn’t he been the one to say that her perception of what was going on was a big portion of what their mating ritual was like? If that were the case and he was right about that then she should be able to manipulate him at least a little bit if she was intent on getting to his cock. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before putting her hand on the fabric where she suddenly found a zipper. She smiled and opened her eyes again looking up at him. “How…” 

“Maybe you’re giving me more power than you realized,” She said as she pulled the zipper down and reached in to get his cock out. It was big, bigger than a normal human cock should be even though it was definitely the right shape and touch. It really wasn’t the right color, though, it was white like the rest of his skin (or at least what was visible). She shrugged and moved her mouth towards the tip, glancing up at him as she breathed over him hotly. She felt his cock twitch as he then shuddered and moaned. “Or maybe it’s my power…” She whispered then kissed the tip of his cock before running her tongue over it. 

“Leila…” He hissed. She was pretty sure that was the first time he’d ever used her name like that or at all. He was usually calling her pet or mate or…something that objectified her. Not her name. She liked how he said it. She smiled before opening her mouth to get his cock in there, though it was so big she was really only able to get the head in, why did he have to be so difficult about this? She was only trying to pleasure him. She heard him growl, though it wasn’t angry it was almost like a purr of sorts. At least that’s how she would have described it. As she was thinking this, his cock started to become a more reasonable size and she was able to take more of him into her mouth and down her throat as she normally would on a human male if she was giving him a blow job. 

She felt a hand on the back of her head as she took more of him into her mouth, and the feel of pointy claws scraping against her scalp a bit. She didn’t hate it, in fact, it really only turned her on more. He had been right about how much she liked him, and in a lot of twisted ways she did. The psychiatrist part of her that was an expert in human sexual behavior and deviance was intrigued by this. Not because he was human but because this was mating, sex, something she could study about an entirely different species which only got her going more. She gagged loudly as she got him all the way down and he made sure to hold her there so she was choking. 

Looking up at him, with desperate and wide eyes, she struggled a bit. There was no telling if he’d let her choke like this completely. It was clear that he could kill her and bring her back if he wanted (or at very least provide her a very realistic illusion to that happening) so it may not matter if she suffocated on his cock. Only he would know. The terror of that idea only fueled her arousal which must have been transferred to him in some capacity because as her vision started to tunnel, he climaxed. His cum pumping out of his cock and down her throat into her stomach. There seemed to be a lot of it and it was hot. She jerked and twisted trying to get away from him but he kept her there until he was finished before shoving her back violently. 

She collapsed to her hands and knees, gagging and coughing, trying to get her breath back. Her throat was burning with agony and so was her stomach. She groaned and closed her eyes tightly, waiting for the sensation to pass. When it finally did, she was on her knees again, breathing normally. Her eyes opened and she felt the aftermath of tears streaming down her face. She quickly reached up and wiped her eyes. He was still staring down at her like some kind of confused animal but any trace of his cock was gone, the suit was covering him again. She coughed softly and wiped her mouth. 

“That was…very pleasurable. Thank you.” He said which stunned her. She blinked a few times wondering if she had heard what she did. He had thanked her? Had nothing vicious to say? Didn’t want to hurt her or punish her for doing something wrong. She licked her lips and slowly got to her feet (of which he was no help at all). “Why did you do that?” 

“I told you,” She said, her voice rough and it still hurt to talk a bit but the feeling was slowly starting to fade, “To help you calm down.” 

“No…” He said, “You…you love me don’t you? This thing that I do not understand or you claim I don’t you have that…for me. Don’t you?” 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said then started to walk out of the room trying to avoid this conversation completely. He probably wasn’t wrong and that’s what scared her more than anything. That she was falling in love with a monster that ate humans, specifically children. That she didn’t want to let him go and even with as much as she loved Mark and she knew he loved her, that her loyalties now lay with a demonic clown instead of where they should lie. With the people that did care about her and did want her. 

“You are changing,” He said and she could hear him following her, mostly because he stomped around like a Clydesdale in those obnoxious clown shoes, “We are merging.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” She snapped and grabbed herself a bottle of water from the fridge, “I don’t have a craving for human flesh nor do I have a sudden urge to murder anyone so how could I possibly be merging with you?” 

“You controlled my form,” He pointed out.

“I gave you a penis which you already technically had so all I really did was add a zipper to your little costume there. I wouldn’t say I did that much,” She argued trying to completely deny that he had any point in this to make. He started laughing, that loud obnoxious and insane clown laugh that she couldn’t stand. She growled and started to head back up to her room again. She’d only done all of that because she was trying to get him to calm down enough so she could read a book and it had all backfired on her. 

“I told you I’d make you love me…told you…told you…told you!” He taunted in a very clownish format behind her, his stupid bells jingling as he sang those stupid biting words. She went back up to her room and slammed the door behind her but she could still hear him taunting her. His voice all around her. She screamed and sat on the bed, curling up and putting her hands over her ears. 

“SHUT UP” She yelled. Then there was silence. She paused for a moment and slowly looked up. The first thing she saw was her reflection in the mirror on top of the dresser across from her bed. She crawled forward. Her face was white, her hair was orange, and she had makeup. Clown makeup. It matched him entirely. She screamed and rushed into the bathroom, hearing some kind of jingle bells as she moved and got in there. Now she was in a costume, a duplicate of his except for made more for a female form than a male. She shook her head. No…no this had to be an illusion. A dream. There was no way she was becoming him or anything like him. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD PENNYWISE!” 

Suddenly, everything was back to normal. She looked normal. No makeup. No clown costume. Her heart was pounding and she breathed a sigh of relief before starting to run the water in the sink. It terrified her to no end, the thought that she was becoming more like this clown monster that she was also undeniably attracted to but, she couldn’t stop it. Part of her didn’t want to. There was only one way that all of this could end and it wasn’t going to be good. 


When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom let it be…

Leila woke up suddenly to the music because for some reason her alarm was set. She’d done this on accident a few times, mostly out of habit even though it was the weekend and there was no need for her to wake up this early. She groaned and looked at the clock. Five in the damn morning. Normally it would have been fine because this gave her just enough time to do a quick work out, have a small breakfast, then make it to the train so she could go into the office as she didn’t drive to work ever. She blinked a few times as she recognized the song and really heard it. Seemed kind of appropriate in the moment, maybe. 

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be…

She frowned and reached over to shut the alarm clock off not wanting to hear any more of that song no matter how appropriate it was because it was only depressing her. She got up and headed into the bathroom anyway to shower. She felt gross after the events of the other night and her throat was still burning from swallowing down all that demonic cum. She made it over to the sink and started to brush her teeth when the lights began to flicker and she could smell something like rotting flesh coming from the drain. She blinked a few times and took a step back. That was weird. 

“Cut it out, Pennywise…” She warned before taking a deep breath and starting to brush her teeth again as she attempted to ignore the smell. When she was finished she looked back up into the mirror and saw that she was back in that damn clown makeup from last night. “I SAID CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!” 

I am not the one controlling this you are 

“Bullshit!” She snapped and grabbed a washcloth. She ran it under some warm water and started to try to scrub the makeup off of her face but it wasn’t working. “PENNYWISE!” 

This is not my doing this is what you want

“This is most definitely not what I want I can’t walk around looking like some psychotic clown!” She snapped and tried to scrub her face harder but it was like she wasn’t even in makeup, like it was just her skin now. Her hands were white too, so was the rest of any visible skin that was exposed. 

I did not start this you did, you took control last night we are merging 

“Don’t say that,” She warned, “I don’t want this, I’m not going to be a clown…I’m not like you!” 

You are more like me than you want to admit the transition would perhaps be easier if you just allowed it to happen. 

“No, you can’t make me. I don’t accept this and I am not merging with you. This is a trick…of some sort isn’t it? Another one of your illusions well it’s not going to work on me.” She insisted. The only problem was that she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe this was her doing. Maybe this was what she wanted because she as also sure in her heart she didn’t want him to leave. She also didn’t want to become some horrifying monster clown, though, but maybe this was the consequence for desiring his companionship above the ones she already had. 

“LEILA?” She heard Mark calling her from downstairs. 

“Shit,” She whispered and looked in the mirror again. She still had the makeup and some freaky looking clown grin. She shook her head. Her hair was bright fucking orange too. He couldn’t see her like this. “Pennywise please do something…” She hurried out into her bedroom and pulled her hair back and put it into a bun before grabbing a hat from her closet it and pulling it on over her hair. “JUST ONE SECOND MARK!” She really wished that he’d stop coming into the penthouse like this without permission but she supposed he did technically still live there if he had never died in the first place. 

I’m not doing anything…

“Like hell you aren’t,” She snapped and looked around trying to think of anything she could use to reasonably cover her face with that also wouldn’t seem insanely suspicious to Mark. She could hear him coming up the stairs. 

“You okay? You sound panicked.” He called. 

“I’m fine Mark,” She called back trying to make her voice sound more normal that time but it wasn’t working because of how terrified she was in the moment. Terrified of what was happening to her and what she was becoming. She hurried towards her closet and the door opened. She yelped loudly and put her hand up trying to cover her face. He walked over to her and looked around. 

“I don’t know what’s going on but you can’t stay cooped up in here anymore we are leaving,” He said coming right over to her. “Why are you covering your face like that?” 

“Mark, you need to go,” 

“No,” He said, “Enough is enough, Leila. I’m not letting you live like this anymore. There is no fucking clown, got it?” He yanked her hand away from her face and she stared at him then winced, waiting for him to say something. He didn’t. She opened one eye to see what his reaction was. 

“Mark? You can’t see it?” 

“See what?” He asked, “I see you with a ridiculous hat on for some stupid reason because you’re going insane here by yourself and you know it.” He pulled the hat off and tossed it to the bed. She shoved him away and looked into the mirror. She still most definitely had the damn clown makeup on and her hair was still orange but he couldn’t see it. She laughed softly and closed her eyes. He was right, she really was going insane. 

“There is a clown,” She whispered. “His name is Pennywise.” 

“Leila, I don’t know what happened in Maine or what made you think that you ran into this clown but you didn’t and even if you did he’s not here.” Mark insisted and turned her to look at him. “We are leaving, now.” 

“Mark you don’t understand he’ll follow me anywhere I go and if I leave with you-” 

“What? He’ll kill me?” Mark asked then laughed, “I’d like to see him try.” He started to pull her out of there and she screamed angrily. Alright, maybe Mark couldn’t see how she looked because he didn’t believe her but that didn’t mean other people wouldn’t be able to see it. She didn’t know and she certainly didn’t want to test it out on the streets of Manhattan. 


“NO, HE’S NOT!” Mark roared back at her. She pulled away from him and went to her phone and grabbed it. She dialed Rika’s number and held the phone out to him. Rika answered sounding half awake. 

“Leila?” She muttered. 

“Talk to her, she’s seen him,” Leila said. “Seen…It.” 

“No offense but this is your friend who thinks she sees demons everywhere.” Mark said, “I’m not sure I can take her word for it.” 


“Mark?” Rika whispered, “Fuck…” 

“SAY IT!” 

“She’s not lying,” Rika said sounding a bit more awake at that point, “I have seen him, a lot, he ripped his own head off in front of me. He’s a giant fucking clown…creepy…bone chilling laugh and that voice…fuck.” 

“Oh come on,” Mark laughed. 

“You know what you might not believe me and I understand why, but tell me one time Leila of all people insisted anything like this was real, huh?” Rika snapped at him. 

“Just because she thinks-” 

“What? Mark? Because either you have to accept I’ve gone completely insane and am also sharing this delusion with Rika who by the way is in Japan right now or  you have to believe that maybe just maybe I’m not lying.” Leila insisted. Mark turned to look at her and took in a sharp breath as if he’d been startled. He took a slow step back. “He’s not behind me, is he?” 

“No…” He said slowly, “But you look like a clown.” 

“Fuck…you can see it now can’t you?” 

“See what?” Rika demanded, “WHAT’S GOING ON?” 

“Rika, I have to go,” Leila said and hung up. She tossed the phone on the bed but it started to ring a moment later. Mark took a step towards her and put his hand on her face, starting to rub at the skin a bit before pulling it away and looking at his fingers. 

“It’s not even makeup,” He muttered. 

“Yeah, I know.” Leila said, “So-” 

“But what the hell? How can I see it now you were…normal just a moment ago…” Mark asked looking from his fingers up to her again. 

“Because you believe me now,” She said, “And if you believe me…” She trailed off only because Pennywise’s laughter could be heard throughout the penthouse and it was definitely something that Mark could hear too as he was reacting to it. 

“Holy fuck, how did this even happen?” Mark asked, “WHY?” 

“You need to get out of here,” Leila said and moved back to her bedroom door. She opened it quickly and Pennywise was standing right there. 

“Oh, shit…” Mark whispered. 

“She’s right…you better run,” Pennywise said and started to stalk towards him menacingly. Mark quickly sidestepped him and then moved behind him stopping to hold his hand out towards Leila. 

“Not without her,” Mark insisted. 

“FOOLISH HUMAN!” Pennywise roared and turned swiftly. 

“MARK GO!” Leila yelled at him. 


“HE WON’T KILL ME!” Leila screamed at him, “LEAVE!” Mark looked at her then back to Pennywise as if trying to confirm if what he was seeing was definitely real. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath then stepped towards Pennywise. 

“MARK!” Leila begged. 

“This isn’t over, clown, and I’m not afraid of you,” Mark said with total conviction in his voice. Pennywise snarled and started to open his mouth, his jaw unhinging like some kind of odd mutant snake slowly getting wide enough that he could take Mark’s head off completely if it was positioned right. Mark punched him in the neck, causing Pennywise to falter and stumbled to the side. Leila was downright amazed at that, either Mark was too pissed off to be afraid or very stupid. 

“RUN YOU IDIOT!” Leila screamed at him and started to run out of there and down the stairs with Mark close behind her. They made it to the elevator and Leila slammed her hand over the button. The doors opened and Pennywise was in there. Since Leila was in front of Mark she was the easiest one for him to grab. He got her by the throat and lifted her into the air. She was being choked, her air quickly running out as she kicked and struggled to get free. 

“Leave,” Pennywise ordered Mark his voice very deep and downright demonic, “She is mine now.” Leila clawed at his arm and hand trying to get him to drop her but no matter what she did, he didn’t seem to react and eventually her air ran out completely, she couldn’t do anything other than blackout. 

Chapter Sixteen

Leila was getting pretty sick and tired of blacking out only to wake up in some other random location. Her head was pounding and she slowly sat up to look around the place. It was…odd. It wasn’t like the sewers she had woken up in the first time. This place seemed very deep underground. Like there was no possible way to see the light of day no matter how hard she could try and yet it was lit somehow. An eerie glow. Not bright but definitely enough for her to be able to see. At the center of this room, nest, pit…she wasn’t sure what to call it exactly, it looked like a meteor had struck and crashed a long time ago. Made a crater and then somehow over millions if not billions of years a cave had formed around it. There wasn’t much else in there other than rocks and ledges, little areas that looked like they’d lead to tunnels. 

“Fuck,” she muttered. Pennywise had obviously taken her here to make it impossible to be found. There was no way Mark was getting down here or even finding this place she couldn’t see a direct way out and she was certain she’d get lost and die if she tried by herself. At least if Pennywise allowed it. She knew he wouldn’t. “Pennywise!” She got to her feet only to realize she was in a clown outfit. One that mirrored his exactly. Her hair was down but in loose pigtails and hanging over her shoulders. It was still as long as it was supposed to be so it nearly reached her waist but it was bright orange like his instead of the natural chestnut brown it typically was. She also had on gloves and there was no way for her to see her own face but she assumed she had to have the makeup as she did before. 

No need to be so loud. 

I am not being loud it just echos a lot in here. She thought back at him. Couldn’t see him though, just hear him in her head. She started to look around, trying to walk properly in those clown shoes was a bitch. She headed towards one of the openings that would obviously lead into a tunnel. She couldn’t really see what was in there but started walking anyway, she knew he wasn’t going to let her come to harm but she didn’t trust he wouldn’t also attempt to scare the shit out of her. 

Wrong way out little girl…He taunted her. 

“Not trying to get out just looking around,” She replied, that was only a half truth. She did want to find a way to get out or at least have the knowledge but she wasn’t intent on escaping or trying to run away from him. “Where is Mark?” 

Oh…he’s alive…

“That doesn’t answer my question.” She snapped back at him and kept walking, “Fuck can you do something about these damn shoes? I don’t want to look like you.” 

That is under your control right now are you asking me for my help with your form? He replied. She didn’t see how this was under her control because if she could control it she knew she wouldn’t be walking around looking like some psycho clown demon but she supposed she was going to have no choice but to ask for his help if she didn’t want to be wearing this ridiculous crap any longer. 

“Yes I guess I would like your help.” She sighed and kept walking even though the tunnel seemed to go nowhere. “Speaking of appearances what do you look like?” 

I have many forms…

“I know that but what’s your actual form? It has to be scarier than this clown thing.” She said, though to be fair the clown form he had was pretty damn terrifying. She still didn’t like it as much as she’d gotten used to it. She was sure to other humans it was off putting or downright terrifying depending on how they felt about clowns to begin with. She saw what she thought was a light down at the very end of the tunnel and began to hurry towards it. “Penny?” 

It’s Penny-WISE child and I do not think you are ready for-

“For what?” she asked, “Your true form? Well I saw you rip your clown head off and throw it at my best friend without even batting an eye. Maybe you should allow me to decide what I can and can’t handle. If you are going to have me trapped down here and also your mate don’t you think I deserve to know?” 


“Fine, whatever,” She sighed and finally made it through the other end even though all that did was lead right back to the nest she had started in. It was about that time it became clear that she wasn’t getting out unless he wanted her to get out. However, as she walked around the area again she noticed a small alcove was there, one that hadn’t been before. It had her bed and a few other comforts from home but not much. Either he had found a way to mimic these things or had taken them completely. She walked to the bed and touched it tentatively before sitting down. 

As she was getting comfortable she saw her dresser was across from the bed, which was weird but what she was more interested in was the fact that she could now see herself in the mirror on top of it. Yes, she definitely was dressed like him with the makeup and everything else. He wasn’t in the room or area though. Not where she could see him at least. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes. If what he was saying about her form was true and that she could control it then maybe if she tried hard enough it would change back to what it originally had been. 

“You don’t want to look like Pennywise that badly?” She heard his voice and it sounded adorably pouty…somewhat mocking. Her eyes opened and he was standing above her, leaning over like he was studying her like he had done a million times before. He was drooling too, seemed to have a problem with that. “Poor old Pennywise…” 

“Oh shut up I’m not going to feel bad for you, you look how you want I-” 

“No I will decide.” He cut her off. His tone denoted that this wasn’t one of those things she was going to get a choice on and he’d gone from mock sadness to controlling demonic freak again. Not that it was all that shocking to her either. His tantrums over complete and utter nonsense were commonplace for her by that point and she knew that sometimes it was better to just give in and allow him what he wanted instead of facing the nightmarishly horrible consequences of trying to resist. “Do you know how to dance?” 

“What?” She laughed and sat up slowly, “Where did that come from?” 

“Your memories of dancing.” He said. 

“Well I guess you could say I know how to not sure if I’m any good at it and if you want me to dance in these shoes…you’re dreaming.” She replied motioning to the giant clown shoes on her feet. He looked at her for a moment, then without warning, scrambled on top of her and pinned her down to the bed by her throat. Cocking his head to the side his eyes traced her over. All she could do was stare up at him but however he was holding her he must have gotten a nerve or something because she was completely paralyzed. Physically. None of what he was doing was scaring her, if anything it would have been arousing if she could feel anything at all but she couldn’t. After a long moment of this he let out a demonic chuckle and released her before moving back, looking her over as if he was admiring something. 

She sat up and got to her feet, finding that she was suddenly in high heels. Almost to the likes of what a stripper would wear. How did he even know about that? Then again, if he could see into her head, knew her fantasies, and things she’d already done then she supposed he pulled that idea from there. She turned towards the mirror to find she was still somewhat dressed in an outfit like his but it was much more lolita it honestly looked like something he’d have pulled from Rika’s mind and not her own. Especially with Rika’s weird loli phase when she was younger. Not to mention it was low cut with plenty of cleavage. Exposed a lot of skin which was now white. the only thing other than the dress was the white gloves and the black and white stripped thigh high stockings which went pretty well with the rest of the strange clown outfit that mirrored his. 

“Seriously Pennywise? You think this is-“


“What?” she laughed, “I don’t think-” There wasn’t any time to finish before he was on his feet, his hand grabbing her throat firmly, almost a choke but far more of a move to restrain her. She looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“That is your problem little one…think…think…THINK!” He spat at her, managing to hit her with quite a bit of drool while doing so, “But this is my domain and I am now DADDY to you and you will do what DADDY wants or there will be consequences oh yes….plenty of consequences.” 

“Daddy?” she whispered. He grinned at her then let go of her cheek and patted it roughly with his large gloved hand. She stumbled back and put a hand to her throat, rubbing it softly before swallowing a few times. 

“Dance.” he ordered. 

“I’m not going to-” He glared at her hard enough to make her shut up and even take a step back. She was very aware of how angry he was and though she had tried to test his limits it didn’t seem like he was in the mood after what he’d observed her doing with Mark, not to mention them trying to escape. If he was okay with it she wouldn’t be trapped in what literally seemed to be the tenth layer of hell. 

“I don’t believe you understand what the situation is. You are my mate. MY MATE. Not his!” He screamed getting back to his feet and seeming to double in size as he towered over her. “We had a deal little one…a deal. He remains alive and you remain my mate.” 

“I told you I need certain things to-” 

“I told you I can be those things ALL of those things. I saw what he did to you I know what he is what you are I know what you need and that’s all I need to know. Now show Daddy a nice little dance before he fucks you.” He spat. 

“What kind of dance?” she asked, “Also music is helpful. NOT Circus music.” He snorted and stomped his foot. She could swear she heard those damn jingle bells again. A moment later, seemingly from nowhere she heard Bon Jovi playing. It seemed apparent from the song he chose what kind of dance he meant was some sort of striptease. After all, he did say he wanted to fuck her after. She didn’t know how he even knew this song or where he got the ability to play it but if he was working based off of her memories and was some kind of God like creature or demon she supposed she needed to stop questioning any of this. 

“NOW!” he roared at her. She jumped back and swallowed hard. She supposed he was lucky she actually knew how to dance like this. There had been a point in her relationship with Mark that they had ended up getting her into pole dancing lessons. Other than the obvious seduction reasons involved it was actually an insanely good work out. She just hadn’t done it for years. 


“Okay WHAT?” He snarled. 

“Okay…Daddy…” She said meekly and took a deep breath before turning and starting to dance. She blinked a few times when she actually saw a pole there. “Seriously?” she muttered. 

“These are your memories pet…what you did for him.” He growled. 

“That doesn’t mean I want to do it for-” 

“YOU WANT TO DO ANYTHING I ASK!” He roared again. She winced and nodded. There was literally no reason she should be aroused as she was with how terrified she was at the same time but this was his foreplay, scaring the crap out of her and somehow, for some reason, he’d picked up on her humiliation kink. No. Not for some reason. He saw Mark doing it to her, had probably been in his head. He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing. She glanced back at him for just another moment before grabbing the pole and starting to do the one basic pole routine she could actually remember. His size returned to basically what she knew as normal for him and he sat down on the bed, grinning as he watched. 

She didn’t know how long he wanted her to do this for, if she should actually strip or stay in costume but she also thought it was probably best to follow his orders to the exact letter until he told her to do something different. The last thing she wanted was for him to do something even more terrifying than he already had. Even worse, with how he was sitting…he seemed kind of tense. Like he might pounce on her and devour her at any second which was really only scaring her more and yet she liked it. The adrenaline rush of pole dancing for this demonic creature was addicting. She could barely contain herself and she was sure he could smell it. Taste it. 

Nearly the whole song had played, Lay Your Hands On Me, before he got up again and walked towards her. He did it with such horrifying intimidation she scrambled backwards and stumbled, twisting her ankle in those stupid heels. he caught her by one of her pigtails and pulled her towards him. She screamed loudly as he pressed her against him, holding her face to his chest tightly. She struggled a bit, having no idea what this was before he shoved her down to her knees in front of him. Grabbing the back of her head, he tilted it upwards so she would be forced to look at him. There was plenty of drool now and she flinched as more than a enough of it hit her face. 

“Do it…” he rasped. 

“Do what…D-Daddy?” She whispered. He snarled at her again and shoved her face right into his crotch. There was no mistaking if there was any sort of arousal this time, and in fact, he seemed to get a decent amount of pleasure just holding her there, feeling her struggle. 

“This is what you want right? Dirty…dirty little whore. Daddy’s little slut…” he purred. She groaned, completely without meaning to. He really did seem to know what she wanted and it wasn’t fair. It was cheating. All he’d had to do was steal memories and make the behavior his own but she did suppose that without his special brand of cruelty and complete disregard for her own safety, pleasure, or life in general it wouldn’t be as good as it was. “SAY IT!” 

“I…I want your cock Daddy…” she muttered, her voice muffled against his considerably large and throbbing bulge. 

“There…that’s a good girl…” he said and shoved her back before patting her on the head. It was a short matter getting that cock out of his costume, outfit, whatever she was supposed to call it. “Open up…” She whined and shifted a bit before slowly opening her mouth wondering how the hell that was supposed to fit in there. Not that she had a choice and she doubted that it was going to slow him down. He gripped the back of her head again, shoving himself forcefully past her lips and into her throat. He was literally as big as she could possibly take in without dislocating her jaw. However, because he was so large she couldn’t do much other than be choked by his cock. Not that it seemed to matter to him though, because once he had gotten that far he started to thrust in and out of her throat. Until that seemingly became too much effort to expend and he just decided to move her head back and forth on his cock like she was nothing other than some fuck toy for his pleasure. 

All of this was very arousing, she was getting wetter by the moment and the arousal with lack of attention to her own pleasure was far more painful and tedious than what he was doing with his cock even if she was choked and could hardly take in a gasp of air here and there. Though, with how he was, he wouldn’t let her die. He’d bring her to the brink over and over but she wouldn’t die. It seemed that with how much he was able to feed on her sexual energy and fear he was now drunk on the idea of it. Addicted to the power. He wouldn’t want to lose her as a mate even if it was only for entirely selfish reasons. 

Hoping that he wouldn’t notice because he was too distracted with his own pleasure she shifted a bit so she was straddling the heel of one of her shoes more or less. The thin fabric of the panties he’d chosen to give her under the dress were slick with moisture and allowed her to be able to grind against the hard surface of the shoe while he was using her mouth and throat to get himself off. Her eyes started to roll back in her head as the pleasure mounted and she drew closer and closer to climax. The moment she was about to go over the edge he pulled back completely, backhanded her hard enough to cause her to fall and kicked her in the side. 

“Who told you to do that?” He snapped at her, “No one, that’s who…you do not have permission pleasure is a privilege not a right and Daddy’s pleasure always comes first….Princess.” She curled up and groaned. As brutal as that was she cared more about the fact that he was denying her release. He stepped over her starting to stroke his cock lewdly as he did, she knew he had to be close. she whined again. 


“You really think…after how you’ve been behaving you deserve anything?” he demanded, “Not here…not in my domain. Look at me.” She whimpered and moaned squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head before thinking better of contradicting him right now. She slowly looked up at him a few tears spilling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks as she did. As utterly pathetic as she must have looked in the moment this seemed to trigger his climax and he came. There was a lot of it and the moans that he produced were intense. Enough to vibrate and resonate through her whole body. A sensation of fear, pleasure, and even pain wracked her entire being as he covered her face and then tits with his demon seed. 

“Th-Thank you…Daddy.” She whispered figuring that since he seemed to be borrowing this from Mark that’s probably what he wanted her to say. 

“Fast learner.” He muttered. “Clean yourself up.” 

“H-How?” She asked. He looked at her as if she just asked him the dumbest thing in the universe. It was obvious he wanted her to use her fingers and lick them clean but she hadn’t tasted his cum yet, not really. The first and only other time they had done this she hadn’t gotten much of a taste at all considering that he had basically been in her stomach when he came. She started to scrape the cum from her skin and slowly brought her fingers to her mouth, unsure if she even wanted to. 

“NOW!” He roared. This spurred her into immediate action and she jammed her fingers into her mouth starting to suck on them. “Look at Daddy.” Her gaze shifted so she was making eye contact with him. He was now completely covered again, no trace of a cock or even an outline of one in his outfit. Seemed like that only appeared when he needed it. She sucked on her fingers for a moment getting a good taste of him. It wasn’t bad, really, but it was normal or at least not what she was used to. Salty…sweet…and something a bit coppery. Almost blood flavored. It looked just as normal as any cum she’d seen but the taste was very unique to whatever kind of being he was. She continued with this until she was as clean as she was going to get using that method. 

Once this had been accomplished he grabbed her and threw her on the bed. Scrambling on top of her again he started to lick at her exposed skin in a very odd manner. It wasn’t sensual at all it was as if he was grooming her. Maybe like one cat would groom another. Even if she was sure this wasn’t meant to arouse her it was only doing just that and making things a lot worse. She wiggled and groaned under him until he deliberately grabbed her and pinned her to keep her still. After he seemed to decide she was sufficiently clean her moved back licking his lips slowly. 

“Yes…that’ll do. For now.” he purred. 

“Daddy I-” 

“You don’t get to cum you get to lay here and think about what a difficult little bitch you’ve been.” He warned her, “And don’t you dare do anything without my permission…Daddy will be watching you.” He laughed demonically then vanished into thin air. She screamed in frustration, kicking her feet into the bed. This wasn’t fair…this wasn’t right and yet this was somehow what she’d always wanted. Disturbingly so. 

Chapter Seventeen

She didn’t know how she’d managed to fall asleep after whatever weird event that had been but she did. When she woke up she was still painfully aroused which annoyed her. She’d have thought that sleeping would have cured that little problem but it didn’t. Slowly, she crept out of bed and started to walk through the tunnels again trying to get back to the main area or at least figure out where Pennywise had gone. This seemed to be the place he would fuck off to whenever he got angry or had enough of her. It wasn’t super nice according to her standards but she supposed she could see why he’d want to live here, maybe. 

He always spoke of how his true form wasn’t something her mind could comprehend a lot of what he said denote he thought she was too weak or stupid to handle the reality of whatever he was. It was clear that he was some kind of being that she didn’t understand, demon, God, alien from outer space? She really didn’t know. What did know was that there was probably some truth as to what he was saying about her not being able to understand a lot of this and his slight concern over possibly showing it to her. Not that it mattered now, she was a clown and looked like a female version of his form only smaller. If anything she believed that if she was ever going to be ready to understand this, able to, then this was the moment it would happen. 

As she crept down the long tunnels thinking about how she really had to pee, she finally saw an opening with an eerie bluish light shining through. She stopped at the opening and peered inside. This seemed to be a very large room, unlike any of the others she’d seen before. Almost as if it were a nest. Deciding not to say anything because if he really wanted to stop her he could, she quietly headed in there. The more her eyes adjusted to the light the more she could tell there was something very large in the center of the room, nest, whatever it was she was supposed to be calling it. Seemed like it had a lot of legs…claws…something. It was weird and she was unable to truly define what she saw or why she was seeing it. Whatever this thing was if it woke up now and got upset it could easily crush her. 

Still, her curiosity was getting the better of her so she only came in closer and closer until she could tell what exactly it was…or wasn’t. This thing, this huge spider like monster thing was Pennywise and he, or it, appeared to be resting? Not asleep, that wasn’t the word she’d use but it wasn’t really paying attention to her either. Above its giant fucking head, which was still his head only much larger, were three floating orbs of light. The kind of swirled around lazily giving off almost a soft hum. It was rather soothing and seemed to be lulling her into a trance drawing her ever closer. 

Everything was fine until he stood up completely and turned to face her, moving much faster than she ever assumed something that size could ever move. She screamed and stumbled back, tripping over the stupid heels he had her in and immediately lost control of her bladder terrified of looking at him. This was what he didn’t want her to see? Well, now she understood why but why had he even let her in here in the first place if that were the case. He glared down at her, his giant hand reaching to pick her up quite easily. 

“This is what you wanted to see?” He cooed his voice taunting as well as far too loud for her to even want to listen to. She winced. 

“Well…yes?” She muttered back meekly because she had wanted to see this in all honesty but now she had to admit she was just fucking wrong about wanting to see it and she really didn’t want to have to do that either. He moved her close to him and started to sniff at her like and animal would. 

“What do you think, pet?” He asked. 

“I uh…” She whispered, her body starting to tremble. As scared as she was and she couldn’t deny there was absolute terror there part of her found this form to be magnificently stunning. Morbidly beautiful. A mixture of terror and awe that was completely indescribable. She wasn’t really sure what she thought other than she both loved and hated it at the same time and only wanted to know more. The way she figured it, this was just something she’d have to get used to. His other form, the clown one…when it was “normal” had been terrifying at first too but she’d gotten used to that so she’d find a way to deal with this as well. “I don’t know.” 

“You know of course you KNOW.” He roared at her. 

“OKAY OKAY!” She yelled back, “I…it’s terrifyingly beautiful that’s what I think and you already know that so why must you insist on-” 

“I like hearing you say it.” He grinned then moved her so she was sitting on his shoulder. Oddly enough at some point and she didn’t know when, he’d changed her completely so she was no longer wet with piss which was convenient because she hadn’t even wanted to bring that up. If he even cared that she had done that he hadn’t made any indication of it, perhaps he just thought it was some silly little accident his pet had and it wasn’t exactly the biggest deal in the world to clean up after her. 

Once she was on his shoulder she timidly reached to touch his skin then his hair. He seemed to like this, a lot. That purring noise he made when he was fucking her, or going down on her started to rumble through him. She could feel it vibrate intensely against her, making her aroused as well. Hitting all the right spots in her body, driving her to try to rub against him kind of stupidly before forcing herself to stop. There was no way, in hell, she could fuck this giant thing the way it was and not die. He’d split her in half.  

“You like this then?” He asked no doubt he could feel what she was trying to do or at very least smell it. 

“No…” she lied. He reached up and grabbed her again causing her to yelp. He held her in his hand and looked down at her with a giant grin. He seemed to be growing in size the more aroused she got. “I…I do have a question though?” 


“You um…you could appear to adults earlier like in the church with Rika and the priest? He saw you?” She asked. 

“Of course I told you that our connection has made me vastly more powerful than I ever imagined.” He replied. 

“Okay well I guess I was wondering why Mark couldn’t see you then.” She asked. It was a weird thing to bring up in the moment but it had been weighing on her mind and this was only the first half of the question because she needed to hear the answer before she asked about the other thing and she wasn’t sure she even wanted to know that, it was just best. Especially since it turned out that this was what he looked like. Some horrible yet beautiful half spider creature she both wanted to dry hump and run away from screaming at the same time. 

“That was all you little one,” He said then gently poked her tummy causing her to laugh because it was amazingly gentle considering he could crush her with just one finger now. 

“Stop…stop…” She whined trying to push his finger down, “Then uh…if that’s the case and I can do that am I going to uh….become like this?” She asked motioning to his form and size. He shook his head, the bells that typically jingled when he was much smaller echoed very loudly through the arena where they currently found themselves. 

“No you do not have the ability nor will you ever but…you are more powerful than you think. I told you we are merging.” He replied then put her back on his shoulder before starting to crawl around the place quickly and effortlessly. She yelped and held onto him as tightly as she could not wanting to be thrown off where surely she’d fall to her death. 

“This is you then…your true form? Size?” She asked.

“No…no no no I get much much bigger.” He laughed, “And still this form, at least half, is more for your benefit you find it pleasing.” 

“I do not-” 

“Don’t lie to Pennywise…” He warned, “He could swallow you whole right now and you…you would not die it would just be a nightmare until you were expelled again.” She didn’t doubt any of that and hell, she didn’t even doubt that he would do it just to punish her for being difficult. He started to move some things around in there, not that she understood why or what he was doing. Seemed like he was trying to make a better nest or something along those lines but since she didn’t understand what the hell he was to begin with there was no way she could understand the rocks he was moving or why he was organizing them in such a manner. 

“I guess it’s okay now that I’ve gotten used to it.” She agreed, somewhat. It was hard to deny she was attracted to him and that form at this point. Even weirder, she was attracted to his giant size even though she knew it was ridiculous given that physically it could never actually work and yet she badly wanted to still be abled to fuck him…somehow…when he was huge. It made no actual sense to her. “But what you were doing before in…when you made me dance that whole thing what was that?” 

“That’s what your mate does.” He replied. 

“Yeah but that’s-“

“It’s what?”

“I don’t know it’s not the same when you do it I don’t…I don’t want to have a copy of Mark I just want you to be normal.” She sighed. 

“NORMAL?” He nearly roared and grabbed her again causing her to scream, that was until his grip got tight enough that it was too hard to breathe to make any sound. She still could breathe but it was hard and she really had to focus on it. He glared right at her and she tensed up, fearing he may actually throw her into a wall and she’d be dead in half a second. “WHAT IS THIS? NORMAL? I WILL NEVER BE LIKE ONE OF YOU!” 

“That…that’s not….what I meant…just…” She tried to explain, because it wasn’t what she meant at all she’d just used the wrong word. He snarled at her, his face shifting into a far more terrifying version of…well…whatever he was supposed to be. “I MEANT I WANT YOU!” He froze, mid shift then his grip started to relax. She took in a gasp of air trying to catch her breath and calm her heart down from the race that it had gone into when he’d done that. 

“What?” He asked. 

“I am here now I want you…what you are not a copy of Mark I just want to understand you…all of this.” She panted, “You don’t need to copy him. Think…think it’s obvious you won because…well look at me…I’m…I’m a fucking clown now.” 


“I what? You keep saying I control my form so either…you did this to me or I look this way because as much as I keep resisting there is something addictive about you that I can’t tear myself away from.” She told him. He gently set her down on the ground again which she was insanely happy about. She stumbled back a bit and sat down on one of the ledges that was near by. 

“Some of it is you but only because I gave you the power.” He replied getting a bit smaller and less threatening, shrinking down just a tad while maintaining his spider like form. She nodded, she figured that had to be the case. 

“How?” She asked, “And why?” 

“I told you how we mate your human form cannot handle the damage it causes your physical body so I make repairs…yes…the repairs are part of myself they attach me to you and you…you can use these new organs in the way that you like.” He said, “You are not accustomed to them no. Not now but your mind it…takes on the form you most desire.” 

“I don’t desire to-” 

“You must or you wouldn’t be a clown.” He said then laughed maniacally. He somewhat had a point. Since he also said she wasn’t accustomed to it nor did she have control over it and the fact that she was oddly attracted to him was undeniable then something in her subconscious must have been controlling how she looked. Thanks to whatever he was doing to repair her internal organs after mating he had transferred part of himself to her which in a weird way was oddly sweet. It seemed that mating with her would kill her outright or at least damage her considerably and yet he kept fixing her. 

“Why did you care enough to repair me?” She asked after another moment. 

“You are my mate and we are as one.” he said then patted her on the head like she was an idiot before he went back to whatever it was he was doing with the rocks. She stepped towards him carefully and gently put her hand on one of his legs to see what it felt like. It was nice, very smooth so she stroked it softly. He stopped in place and started that weird, low vibrating, growling purr he had as if this were a very nice sensation. 

“Then you do have the ability to care.” She said. 

“Care? About a human?? A HUUUUUUMAN?” He taunted. 

“Oh but you do care,” She said, “If you didn’t then you’d have already left me for dead a thousand times over.” 

“I do not care about you, this is an arrangement we are just-” 

“What? Mates? That’s it? Really? Or is it more? Did maybe the little human teach the big spider man what love is?” She teased him. He growled and started to stomp his massive feet. She screamed as he went out of his way to attempt to trample her or at very least make it look like he was attempting it. She didn’t honestly think he wanted to hurt her, not after all of this, he seemed attached to her beyond just wanting her for food but at the same time he also seemed to hate himself for it. Though it made sense, given that he’d been alone for so long he’d probably come to a point where he didn’t need any companionship or thought he didn’t. Now he had her and that had changed and hell if he ever wanted to admit it. Eventually, he gave up trying to terrify her in that manner and she ran a few feet away from him looking up at him breathing hard. He shook his head, the bells jingling again as he snorted angrily. 

“Pennywise does not care about-” 

“YOU LOVE ME! YOU LOVE ME! YOU LOVE ME! YOU LOVE ME!” She taunted in a similar fashion as to how he had done before when he’d figured out how she felt about him. He roared at her angrily growing back into the size he had been before. “Face it…you know what this is and you…you don’t like it because being in love means being vulnerable and vulnerability means fear which means-” She was cut off mid-sentence as some bright blinding light over took her and she was instantly rendered useless and placed into a some sort of odd floating trance. The last thing she heard was his voice echoing through her very soul:


And silence. 

Chapter Eighteen

Wherever she was, had been sent, had ended up…it was warm and nice. It was perfect. Felt like she was floating yet somehow on a beach in the sand and sun. It was peaceful and magnificent. Heaven. She didn’t want to leave or for any of this to ever stop. The blinding light started to dim and she felt her bare feet on warm sand under them. Wiggling her toes through it. She could smell the ocean, see the sun over her head, head the birds and smell the tropics, the salt water, everything around her. No longer in that horrible clown makeup and costume she was back to looking like herself. Complete with a bikini. Her hair back to being chestnut brown, hanging down to her waist. The breeze blowing through it nicely. Very refreshing in the heat. She headed for the water and let it wash over her feet and legs.

“You like this?” She heard his voice from behind her. ITS voice. She turned quickly and gasped when she saw him. He was the human looking version of himself. Not the clown. Though, it wasn’t like that was much better. He still had all the weird features of the Pennywise persona just without the makeup. It was almost more surreal to see him like this. The wind blowing just enough to be able to tell he was kind of balding.

“You can take any forms you want, any at all, and this is what you choose to look like? This or that clown thing.” She pointed out.


“Yeah I know you like it.” She muttered and turned to look back out over the ocean. He wasn’t dressed appropriately for the beach at all. In fact, he was in some weird suit that oddly reminded her of a circus performer from the 1800’s or something. Complete with pocket watch. She wasn’t sure why she thought circus performer specifically but there was something about it that just made sense. That or they were so connected it wasn’t a thing he had to say out loud to her. “Do you have a name for this form?”

“Robert Gray,” he replied. At least his voice was a bit more sane when he looked human. He came towards her wrapping his arms around her from behind and pulling her close. He was aroused but she guessed given how she looked at the moment she couldn’t be shocked by that either.

“Where are we?” She asked.

“Where are you,” He chuckled smelling at her hair like some dirty old pervert. She shuddered feeling simultaneously disgusted and aroused by this weird behavior. “Deadlights.” 

“Dead…lights?” She asked slowly. 

“You were irritating so I needed to calm you down a bit,” He said starting to stroke her hair roughly. Even though she couldn’t see his hans she knew that they were dirty, somehow, maybe it’s because of how she could tell her hair was sticking to his fingers any time he moved them back. None of that even mattered, though, considering she didn’t know what in the holy hell he was talking about. 


“Don’t question it too hard, little one.” He said. She pulled out of his grasp gently and turned to look at him. He reached to stroke her cheek and that’s when she could tell his hands definitely were covered with something and they didn’t smell too nice either. Since it wasn’t blood and it was brown, and in some areas black, she didn’t want to even attempt to question what might be on them. 

“Were you a real…guy once?” She asked looking him over. “Like…in a circus?” 

“That’s not important either.” He dismissed. Well, they were getting nowhere fast with this line of questioning but since it was abundantly clear in that outfit that he was aroused, because his pants were basically forming their own type of circus tent around his erection at that point she pretty much knew this was going to end in sex. 

“If you mate with me in here…what is this? My mind? Something…a dream…?” 

“Close to a dream, yes, what you humans call dreaming in any case.” He said casually taking another step towards her. He ran his greasy hand over her tits and down towards the waistline of her bikini bottom. As horrified as she was of this kind of weird, groping molestation thing he was doing it was turning her on and she hated that too. He was just pawing at her body like he owned it and it was so hot but so nauseating. She backed up a bit more into the water but he just followed her as if it were literally no problem that he was getting his suit wet doing this. “No, this won’t do little girl, come here and let Daddy feel you up properly.” 

She opened her mouth to protest, or at very least request that he clean himself off a bit, but before she could he wrapped his arms around her and yanked her out of the water moving them both so that they were standing back in the sand. She whined a bit, a shiver of pleasure and disgust traveling through her. 

“Not going to piss yourself like before are you?” He growled giving her a nice tap to the cheek. Not hard enough to be a slap but definitely hard enough to get her attention. She looked at him, her eyes wide. So he had noticed that. She felt her face get hot with embarrassment and yet, it was really only intensifying the situation. 

“You were…are…a giant spider and I was not expecting that.” She muttered. 

“Ah yes but you were the one who asked to see it…wanted to see it…I can show you something else you know.” He chuckled, the sound lower pitched but definitely reminiscent of how he sounded when he was Pennywise. It was really obvious he meant his cock and as much as she didn’t really think she wanted to see it, she kind of did. She shifted nervously in the sand as his hand slipped past the waist of the bottoms she was wearing and started to grope at it, somewhat awkwardly his hands rough. She groaned. It was hard to tell if he was purposefully bad at this or he was legitimately so perverted that he could hardly contain himself over the fact that he was now touching her in such an intimate place. She studied him, he was starting to drool. 

“Yes then…I mean…natural human…reaction….” She breathed, hating how wet she was for him despite the situation. She feared him, loathed him, was disgusted by him and loved him all in the same moment. It was hard to decide what she even wanted. To run away screaming or submit to his every desire. He’d never stayed what was mostly his human form so long it seemed to annoy him before when she’d requested it. 

“I’m well aware of that but…submission as well…” 


“An act of submission…by dirty…filthy little animals…” He snarled at her so viciously she was hit with quite a generous amount of his saliva as he spoke. He reached down with his free hand, easily manipulating and opening his pants to get his cock out. This time it looked like a far more normal cock than what he had when he was a clown, or at least closer to a real one. Still it was kind of odd, didn’t seem to actually be a cock as much as it also seemed to have the right shape. He began to stroke it lewdly, still fondling her cunt roughly as he growled. 

“Okay so…then you like it?” She panted unsure of what he was even getting at. Though she couldn’t imagine he hated it and she damn well knew what he was talking about when it came to some sort of animalistic fear piss that also indicated submission. Wasn’t really a thing humans did regularly but he kind of had a point. In any case, if he actually liked the piss or not wasn’t what she was driving at. What she meant was that he liked the power he held over her and how easily she had fallen to him when she’d seen him in his true form. What he now held over her because she now knew him as intimately as she possibly could. 

“Of course I do,” He told her, “I won.” Before she could say anything else he shoved her down into the sand, his mouth moving to her neck to lick at her skin as both of his hands moved to her bikini top opening it. He groped her tits, squeezing them firmly for a moment before he captured her mouth in a kiss. A very sloppy, hungry, growling kiss. She whined into his mouth as she kissed him back desperately. She wasn’t overly shocked at the idea that her humiliation was also a turn on, she’d already been aware of that, but not to this level. It seemed contradictory to be to this level and yet she didn’t think she’d ever been more aroused. He was a gross old man pawing at her as if she was some kind of sex doll and that’s all she wanted to be. Submit to him completely and allow him to use her for his every pleasure, whenever he wanted…however he wanted. 

Just as she was thinking about that he shoved her bikini bottom aside just enough to be able to thrust into her roughly. His cock somehow shrinking then expanding to fill her perfectly. She moaned out, reaching up to grab his hair, tangling her fingers in it. He snarled at her, more drool, sliding down over his lip onto her face, neck, chest. She gasped and he growled, moving down to bite at her neck, breaking the skin open with those abnormally sharp and prominent buck teeth. She squealed, thrusting up towards him as he started to thrust back. An odd, jerking movement that was clearly meant to bring only him pleasure and give her none, yet at the same time, the mentality that she was nothing but a fuck toy now…some sort of vessel for his seed if that’s what he wanted, brought her pleasure. 

“Now you’re getting it…” He purred in her ear as if he could read her very thoughts during this disgusting act. An old, dirty man, using her as if she was nothing but a flesh sleeve for his cum. She moaned and closed her eyes. His thrusting increased, his hands back on her tits, next it was her nipples between his rough fingers. Pain and pleasure as he took literally no time to consider if she was liking what he was doing or not. She screeched and yanked at his hair but that didn’t seem to deter him or slow him down one bit. “You’re mine…you’ve accepted it so lay back and let Daddy do what he pleases.” 

“I…I haven’t-” 

“Shhhh…” he breathed putting his entire hand over her face instead of just her mouth for some reason. He shoved her more into the sand and really started to fuck into her at that point, the pain becoming pleasure to a point that she never imagined that it could. She felt his cock starting to swell, not the whole thing just the base. Did he have a knot? Was he going to knot her cunt? Fuck! She started to scream but, of course, it was muffled by the palm of his hand as he pumped his hips against hers harder and harder. That was until the knot swelled enough to lock them in place. His hand moved away, her vision no longer obscured she was able to look up at him…right into his eyes. “Cum for me, doll.” 

She screamed out, loudly at first but the air quickly escaping her until there was no sound at all as pleasure overtook her body. She could hear him as well, some sort of animalistic roar, as if he was conquering her and in a lot of ways he was. She didn’t care, though, not anymore. This was the most pleasurable any of their encounters had been and she knew he was right. He owned her now. Completely. She was nothing but his whore, is toy….his doll. She could feel his burning hot cum filling her. The heat taking her body. The sensation as if she was about to burst into flames slamming into her. Her nails clawing at his scalp as he emptied inside of her, howling out his pleasure. The noise surrounding the both of them until everything was just dark. 


When she woke up, she wasn’t sure how much time had passed, or what any of that had been. A dream that her mind conjured up, a vision or experience he’d tricked her into being part of, a bit of both? She had no clue. She was on her bed, but she was still in his nest. Oddly enough everything had been repositioned so that instead of being in her own little room off to the side where she had been before, her bed had been placed on some sort of plateau. One made of rocks…what she had seen him building before he had put her in the…deadlights? Was what what he had called them? In this way she was elevated above him, yet in his true form, the spider one, all he’d really have to do was sit up just slightly to get a look at her. Not to mention there was no way down from this herself he’d have to do it for her. 

She sat up, resting against the headboard and looking him over. He was laying there, looking comfortable and entirely pleased with himself but he was awake. There was no way he didn’t know what she had just dreamed, experienced, or whatever else that was. She glared at him but really had nothing to say. Even if it made her somewhat unhappy, none of what was just stated or experienced was untrue. The only problem was that it didn’t take away her feelings for Mark. Yes she was loyal to Pennywise, yes she had accepted her station as…well whatever this was…but love wasn’t something that he could just destroy because he really really wanted to. 

“He’s going to keep looking for me.” She said softly. 

“Won’t find you here.” Pennywise said then laughed as if this were the most amusing thing he could think of in the moment. “Never…every find you…no one ever finds Pennywise nest unless he lets them.” 

“Yes, well we’ve had this discussion I can’t live with you forever in a cave or a sewer.” She replied, “I’ve told you this before and it’s always going to be true.” 

“I am well aware of that but I have ways of keeping you pacified…like that little beach vacation I took you on. I give you so much and you can’t be pleased by any of it can you?” He asked before starting to pout. She rolled her eyes. She didn’t hate him, not really, but she wished she could get him to understand what she felt for Mark. He certainly did seem to be grasping the concept before he put her in the deadlights but now it looked like it had been forgotten in favor of what he believed to be a victory. She could admit that he’d won the battle but he still hadn’t won the war and she wasn’t going to stop loving Mark even if she could submit to being owned by this demonic clown spider forever. 

“Pennywise,” She said, “Isn’t there anything about Mark you can maybe…try to like too?” 

“Such as?” He purred back at her, and she could tell from his tone of voice he found this very idea ridiculous. 

“He’s not like other humans either.” She said, “Remember when we first met you said…they called him a monster they called me one too.” 

“What is your point?” He growled going from his more reclined state to a standing one so he was over her, glaring down intently. She swallowed hard, trying not to be afraid or intimidated by this but it wasn’t easy. One swipe of any of his legs, or arms, whatever she was supposed to call them and she’d be dead. The idea wasn’t terrible as she did like the insane imbalance of power between them but she also didn’t like that she was constantly under threat of death either. There had to be another way. A compromise. 

“Well, um he’s a murderer and if you go by statistics and the percentage of killers in the population plus the fact that he’s a serial killer and enjoys it because this wasn’t just a one time thing then maybe-” 

“MAYBE WHAT?” He roared. 

“MAYBE YOU TWO HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN YOU WANT TO ADMIT AND THE ONLY REASON I CAN TOLERATE BEING YOUR MATE NOW IS BECAUSE I WAS HIS FIRST!” She snapped angrily not really meaning to do that but she was so damn annoyed with his behavior she wasn’t able to help herself. He growled, snatching her up out of the bed into his large hand and bringing her close to his face, his mouth so huge at that point that she was pretty sure he could just swallow her like a pill if he wanted. “I know you don’t like it, I know you hate it even, but realize that he isn’t like the others just like I’m not and maybe you….we could get along if you just tried.” 

“I don’t want to try.” He snorted. 

“If you don’t then you will lose me and you know it.” She warned him. He snarled, his mouth opening impossibly wide within seconds and he lifted her over it. Those weird lights…the deadlights, igniting and glowing bright in his throat or whatever the hell she was supposed to call it. The only thing she could see now were rows and rows of pointed teeth and those three orbs swirling around hypnotically as he threatened to drop her in there. “Do it…just fucking DO IT ALREADY YOU FUCKING CLOWN!” 

Surprisingly, he did not, though he did throw her into the wall instead. She impacted violently and slid down to the floor, gasping for breath. She was sure she had multiple broken bones and other internal injuries and became more certain of this when she tried to get up and vomited blood. He reached down and started to stroke her back in an oddly soothing manner, that weird pain and warmth engulfing her as once again she was healed because something in him refused to let her die even if he certainly did get to points where he was very nearly killing her on a regular basis. 

“Perhaps…I will think about it.” He said then scurried out of there quickly, somehow squeezing himself through one of the cracks that seemed entirely impossible for that large form to fit through in the first place. Given that he was some weird outer space monster thing who could bend the world around him she supposed it wasn’t that impossible, at least not for him, but there was no way she was getting out like that. She once again found herself alone, and she didn’t know what was going to happen. Maybe he just needed time to think. She just wished it didn’t mean leaving her in this cold, dark, barren cave all by herself. She was getting really fed up with his tantrums.  

Chapter Nineteen

[NoteAlright if you haven’t seen the Saw Movies and don’t know who Mark is he’s a canon character to those movies. Of which there are 7 but really only 6 good ones and Mark is only in 4 of them. Now, that being said, his utter non-reaction or fear of Pennywise is completely canon to his character. You need to just accept that I am writing him in character to how he would most likely react and the fact that he’s a murderer and borderline insane himself so he’s not like your typical walking around average every day guy and it’s why normal Pennywise tactics aren’t just going to stop him in his tracks. Think of him like Bowers but not so insane he can’t function, you know he’s a sociopath for the most part…kind of like that. Okay just thought I’d clue everyone in. If you know the movies and the character then this shouldn’t be an issue for you. Also…spoilers for the movies cause I mean it’s part of Mark’s history and it’s just going to need to be in the story and I fucked with canon a bit in movie seven because I really hate movie seven]


Mark was sitting in Leila’s bedroom, the one that they used to share together before, well, everything happened. He was there to think because it was quiet and it reminded him of her. He hadn’t spoken to her in almost ten years and he came back to find…this? First, of course, he thought she was insane but then he saw it for himself. She was a clown, there was an actual other clown completely separate from her, something about the sewers in Maine and what had happened in there. Perhaps to him it hadn’t seemed like it had taken that long but given the fact that this demon clown was from another dimension or planet he could imagine that perception was more key to reality here than actual reality. 

Just as he was considering this the door opened. He pulled his gun and stood up quickly, training it in that direction as it opened wider and he saw the almost impossibly tall clown come through. Pennywise, that was the name. He wasn’t afraid of this thing, not mostly, maybe there was some natural or instinctual fear in there because he had no clue what he was dealing with but really all he cared about, more than anything was not losing Leila. He feared her death more than his own. The thing was, that if Pennywise wanted Leila dead she would be dead. She had survived this long without that happening and this made him very well aware that this clown wasn’t going to kill Leila. If that was the case then he had nothing to lose and seeing as how he’d easily trade his life for hers if that’s what had to happen, it would. 

“You really think that can hurt me?” Pennywise asked then chuckled as if this were the most amusing thing he’d seen in his life. 

“It’s a clown gun…I use it for shooting clowns in the face, wanna see?” Mark growled coming towards him. Oddly enough Pennywise backed up considerably when he said that. Though he’d sounded serious enough when he said it, he’d meant it as a joke but weirdly, it seemed that Pennywise kind of took him seriously. Maybe. It was hard to tell but it was definitely something worth noting. John had taught him all about human behavior and how if you were good at predicting the human mind it left nothing to chance. That definitely put him miles above other humans but this thing wasn’t a human. This thing had Leila and this was now an entirely new game for him to learn. 

“I can see who you are…what you fear…” Pennywise threatened. 

“Then you know there’s only one thing…” Mark snarled back at him jamming the gun right up to his giant head, “And it’s not my own death. It’s her’s and you? You’re fucking her that much is obvious so you aren’t going to do it are you?” 

“One chance. Get that thing out of my face and do not…touch me…” He snarled. “Back. Up. HUMAN!” 

“OR. WHAT?” Mark challenged. Pennywise just glared down at him, pressing his head into the gun irrationally hard, Mark was pretty sure it was going to leave an indent if he didn’t stop sometime soon. Not that he gave a shit. He was actually pretty amused by the thought. He studied the creature as his mouth started to do that weird thing again where his face was starting to split apart. It was certainly odd and unsettling but Mark was more annoyed than truly afraid of it. He moved the gun away but fired a round right up into the ceiling. Obviously, not expecting any sort of noise like that, Pennywise was startled and stumbled back. “That’s what I fucking thought, now take me to her or the next round is going into that demented pumpkin you call a head.” 

“PUMPKIN?” Pennywise roared angrily his face somehow coming back together to look far more normal in an instant. Mark wasn’t sure how he did that either but he did know it made his head hurt to watch, “My head is-” 

“Not a normal size at all so if you’re trying to look even slightly human that thing isn’t-” Except that was it…that was all he got out before he was blinded by the brightest and most intense light he’d ever experience. An annoying loud buzzing surrounding him, taking over his every nerve and vibrating through his body. He couldn’t think, move, or breathe…he was just…floating…


The next thing Leila became aware of was a bright light, which was waking her up. Considering how entirely uncomfortable it was laying on the floor of this nest or whatever she was supposed to call it she was amazed she’d fallen asleep at all. She looked up to see Pennywise there, but he wasn’t in his spider body. He was just the default clown thing she was more used to. After blinking a few times to try to get her eyes adjusted she noticed that floating in the air a few above him was Mark. She screamed and ran towards him, having no actual clue that this is what the deadlights experience looked like from the outside. Pennywise easily knocked her back and she fell to the floor, her skin catching on one of the rocks under her and opening up a cut. 

“This one…he is very difficult.” Pennywise said. 

“MARK!” She screamed attempting to get back to her feet only to be sent to the floor again with a motion of his hand, an unseen force taking control of her. She tried to stand but whatever he was doing her was too powerful even if she, allegedly, had powers of her own now. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” 

“Why?” He growled. 


“He’s unharmed I just needed him to be quiet. This-” 

“The deadlights…” She muttered as she realized in that moment that’s what it was. It was his way of calming down unruly humans when he don’t do much else with them. She was somewhat amazed he hadn’t just eaten Mark and tried to deal with the consequences later. Had he really been listening to her? Cared that much about her feelings? How was that even possible? No. There had to be some other reason for this she just didn’t know what yet. 

“What a clever little thing figuring that out all on your own.” Pennywise cooed in an annoyingly taunting tone of voice. 

“Please…don’t hurt him just let him go okay? He’ll be fine if I’m here. I promise.” Leila begged, having no idea how he was somehow keeping Mark suspended in the air like that while also holding her down with an invisible hand. It was crushing, almost as if he’d wrapped some kind of heavy wet blanket around her. It was not comfortable, and it was overly apparent that he was now unhappy. Probably going to take it out on her as well. Still, she knew she’d prefer that to whatever he could or would do to Mark. There had to be a way to fix this. She’d calmed him before she could do it again if he’d just let her get closer to him. 

“No.” Pennywise said, “There are things about this one…things you don’t even have in your head.” 

“What are you even talking about?” She asked, she assumed it had to have something to do with Mark’s experiences as the Jigsaw killer’s apprentice. Though she’d read the case files and had a general understanding of the massive rampaging bloodlust he had experienced in the end she hadn’t seen it herself. At least not most of it. Some of it was captured on CCTV but only a fraction, really. A lot of it was edited and redacted too. Even as an FBI agent and his wife she’d never gotten the full picture. 

“You were right, he is not like the others, doesn’t even fear his own death…because he’s faced it numerous times.” Pennywise said. 

“Yeah I know so maybe if you just talk-“

“NO!” He roared, “This…this is your former mate? This is the one who prepared you for me?” 

“Y-Yes you know that I mean it was unwillingly but-” 

“Watch…” He hissed. He motioned to her with his hand and suddenly her breath was snatched away as the blinding glow of the deadlights snatched her up as well. She was powerless to stop this so she didn’t try to fight it. In the end, she knew it was probably best to relax and accept whatever it was he wanted to show her. She’d probably learn something from it. At least, she could only hope that she would. 


Suddenly she was standing in a room, it was one that she vaguely recognized. It had been years ago but she’d visited it herself after Mark had gone missing. Of course at that point most of it had been stripped bare but she had still wanted to get a feel for it. It was the room that he had escaped his trap from, at least one of them. This was the place where he’d sustained the face injury that had left him with the scar. He’d told her all about it but she hadn’t seen it happen and it wasn’t surprising that there was no actual footage of it. Even if there had been he’d have been sure to get rid of it. 

Yet this room, the way it was now, this was how it had to have looked before he’d been in the trap. The video monitors were there, everything was more or less pristine. At least as much as it could be given that this was also an abandoned zoo building they were standing in. That was where the second to last set of games had taken place. Where William Easton had quite literally fallen apart when he was bisected by an acid injection into his torso. She moved to the video monitors. Tara and her son were on one, Pamela Jenkins on another, and William Easton on a third. This was an active feed, not just that but it had to be some sort of memory, yet Mark wasn’t there so how the fuck was this happening? 

“Pennywise…” She muttered. 

“YEESSSSSS?” He sang from behind her. She turned to look at him, standing there in his usual clown form. It seemed somewhat fitting given the situation, that being that it was insane that she was standing here in what was either the past, or a memory. Maybe a bit of both. It wasn’t like it would be impossible to recreate this experience with his powers and all of the knowledge and memories he did have access to. 

“Why did you bring me here?” She asked, “What is this?” 

“I want you to see.” He said, “See what he does.” 

“I know what he does…did this was like ten years ago.” She sighed, “What’s the point anyway? This was one of the games where he almost died.” 

“Others died too, he caused it.” Pennywise pointed out. 

“No, that idiot kid Brent pulled the switch. He just sat here and watched.” Leila told him. 

“Hmmm yes but he was enjoying himself all the same…you know until the…” He made a motion with his hands to mimic the reverse bear trap that had been placed on his head. 

“I don’t get what this is supposed to prove to me or well, anyone. I know all this stuff. I read the files, I saw the photos, all of them. I got a pretty graphic idea of what happened to William it wasn’t nice but he didn’t do it himself so what? You want me to blame him?” She asked. Though, he wasn’t exactly wrong because had he not set up the situation to begin with then technically the guy wouldn’t have died but still, he hadn’t had a choice exactly. Maybe. She didn’t want to think about that either because a big part of her attraction to him anyway was the danger. 

“I just want you to experience it.” He said, “See how you react.” 

“Okay well it’s not going to be much different from how I’ve already reacted to anything that I already know.” She sighed. The door opened and Mark came in the room walking right past her to check the monitors before sitting down. Looking right through her like she wasn’t even there. That was the eeriest part of this experience. “He can’t see me?” 

“No, why would I allow that?” Pennywise asked then laughed loudly. She rolled her eyes and moved back to watch. However, she was less interested in what was going on with the three trap victims and more interested in watching the door. Waiting for Jill to come in there because she knew exactly what this was leading to. “What are you waiting for?” 

“Like you don’t know,” She growled. 

“That other one, the human you killed…the one he took credit for.” He said, sliding up behind her to pull her close to him, she could feel him as he nuzzled into her neck and hair sniffling at her breathing heavily almost like an animal in heat. 

“What are…what is this?” She breathed, though she couldn’t really deny that it was arousing for some reason, even if there was no actual rational explanation as to why. Jill came through the door a moment later and she felt her blood boil. It was just a memory, or an illusion, maybe one in the same but she still didn’t feel any less angry about this. Had she been there that night…

“Go for it…” Pennywise urged her and from nowhere, or perhaps just his own mind, he produced a knife and held it in her line of sight. She took it from him quickly and stepped forward and then turned to look back at him curiously. 

“What does this matter? She can’t see me.” Leila said. 

“She will see…anything you allow….” He grinned his face somehow going dark his eyes glowing. She turned back to look at Mark who, by that point, was passed out in the chair. She hadn’t seen what Jill had done exactly but this did match up with his account of what happened. At the time he had theorized it was some type of electric shock. She snarled and stepped forward, amazingly, that was about the time she was noticed. 

“Who the hell are you?” Jill asked, backing up quickly. 

“Your worst fucking nightmare.” Leila snapped at her. Bringing the knife up she slashed it over Jill’s throat quickly. The first time this had been done, she’d jammed the knife into the side of the woman’s neck but that had been in a panicked spur of the moment thought. This was far more deliberate and this was what she had wanted to do. Jill’s eyes went wide, her hands going to her throat as blood poured out. She slid down the wall, collapsing on the floor, drowning in her own blood. Leila knelt down by her admiring how the blood was soaking everything. Her shirt, her hair, pooling onto the floor, as she struggled desperately to do anything about it. “You ruined my life…you aren’t doing it again.” She then jammed the knife into Jill’s sternum and drew it down to open her stomach completely, jamming her hands into it right after and pulling it open. There was no way she was going to survive that. 

Covered in Jill’s blood, she rose back up to her feet licking her lips slowly. She turned towards Pennywise who was drooling, baring his fangs. She knew what he wanted and she felt it too. He pounced on her without warning, tackling her down to the floor. She was back in that clown costume, the dress, the gloves, the makeup and the hair. This made it so much easier for him to get up under her skirt and thrust into her with no real hesitation. She screamed out in pleasure and pain as his oddly shaped cock invaded her, but it certainly wasn’t unwanted. Snarling, he reached next to her, getting his hand soaked in Jill’s blood before smearing it over her face. There was a sharp thrust, causing her to scream out in pain, his fingers slipped into her mouth. She looked up at him, growling herself before biting down on his fingers roughly. 

“Oooo….sassy little kitten I see….” He purred, the violence and pain not seeming to deter him even slightly. She bit harder, no matter what she did, it didn’t even seem like it was really hurting him but it got him more riled. He used his other hand to reached under her, pull her up a bit, another tentacle, cock, whatever…slipping into her ass. Her scream muffled by his fingers which were starting to morph into a third phallus, one that slipped down her throat. Her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she hit her climax, another one slamming into her each time the first one ended. Her body writhing in agony and ecstasy as the room seemed to melt around them, until they were floating….they were over his nest and she, somehow, still hadn’t blacked out. 

The ground slammed into her next, she was paralyzed, attached to him in every way possible as he started to grow, morph, become his true form. The spider. Her eyes went wide as she watched, not understanding how this was possible how her body was tolerating any of this. Every nerve in her body on fire as this thing, this creature, bred with her. She was completely helpless but she didn’t want it to stop, she wanted every part of him…she wanted every part of IT. She was lifted again, pulled more towards him, another tentacle coming from some unseen area of her vision to restrain her wrists behind her back, twist her impossibly until she was sure she would tear apart. Her attempts to beg, plead, or scream muffled by what was in her throat yet somehow adding to the pleasure. The barbs deployed, giving her one final shock to shake an orgasm towards her. She was blacking out, her vision tunneling…the last thing she heard…one word…Offspring. 


When she woke up she was on the ground, somehow completely cleaned up from whatever that was before. A dream, a memory, a hallucination? She wasn’t sure. She sat up and looked around, coughing loudly, spitting up blood before the pain crashed into her and she screamed as her body repaired itself as it had done many times before. As he used parts of himself to keep her whole. The idea suddenly occurring to her that maybe, just maybe, the reason she shared his form and shared some minor aspect of his powers now was he was giving himself to her. It was why she was important, he couldn’t get rid of her, she they had connected far too much and to damage her was to damage himself. 

“Leila?” She heard Mark’s voice and looked up quickly, wincing a bit as the pain receded and she was able to breathe again. 

“Mark…” She smiled and stood up quickly pulling him into a tight hug.

“Where are we?” He asked. 

“How are you still alive?” She breathed not wanting to let go of him now that he was finally there, even if she was also completely unsure of the facts of why. He could be the intended next meal for all she knew. 

“Not sure,” He said, “Doesn’t matter, because the point is that I am alive and I’m getting us out of here.” 

“You should go I can’t.” She said. 

“You can’t be serious I’m not leaving you here with that clown.” Mark said and started to run his hands over his chest then waist until he found his gun and pulled it out, holding it at the ready. Leila sighed. 

“Mark that won’t really do anything that-” 

“This will do whatever the fuck I want it to do even if I have to jam it all the way down his fucking throat myself.” He snapped and took her arm, pulling her towards one of the many openings in the wall area. She looked around as she followed him, trying to see where Pennywise could have possibly gone. He didn’t seem to be anywhere and yet, his voice was still in her head. OFFSPRING. MOTHER. MATE. There was something wrong…was she pregnant? “Leila?” 

“I think…I’m pregnant.” She muttered. 

“What?” He laughed, “No…not possible. How could you even be…compatible with…whatever that thing is?” 

“I don’t know.” She said, “Something is wrong and you can’t take me out of here.” 

“The hell I can’t.” He said, “It was a mistake to leave me alive. One huge fucking mis-” Before he could finish there was some sort of explosion that knocked both of them back. Down the tunnel they had been walking through and into the nest area where they had started. Amazingly, neither one of them where hurt even as they landed among the ruins. Mark scrambled up and pulled her into him, holding her close as the giant fucking clown spider burst through the wall, knocking even more shit down in the process. 

“No mistake…no no…Pennywise…Pennywise doesn’t make mistakes…not Pennywise…” he said then laughed loudly enough that the entire room seemed to vibrate around them. 

“Then what the fuck is this? I’m not scared of you I’m just…pissed off!” He yelled holding Leila close to him. 

“Mark stop that’s not-” 

“Not scared no…you do not fear your own death that…that is very interesting.” Pennywise said scrambling forward in some odd fluid motion that was nearly impossible to comprehend. He reached forward easily and snatched Leila out of his arms with one of his giant hands, holding her high up above them. “But you fear hers.” 

“You won’t kill her!” Mark insisted and he sounded very confident about that. He got to his feet and aimed his gun as best he could in a shot that would land right between Pennywise’s eyes if he were to pull the trigger. “Stalemate….bitch.”  Though she was being held and it was a firm grip…Leila wasn’t being crushed or even hurt. It was just kind of uncomfortable and she could see that there was definitely a deadlock here. Mark was right about Pennywise not killing her so he wasn’t afraid, Pennywise couldn’t do much if Mark didn’t fear him, and Mark had no reason to. They were all trapped in a war, and she was the prize that they wanted to win. She kicked her legs, trying to get out of this weird hold so she could do something about it. 

“This is quite a problem, yes I agree….I agree…” Pennywise said and looked at her. He moved to put her on his shoulder, and she had no choice to stay there. It was too high up for her to risk jumping down to do anything. He leaned in and looked at Mark, letting out a loud snarl. Mark didn’t flinch. “I could…I could eat you gobble you right up you know…yum yum.” 

“You won’t because of her, so let’s all just agree that you are a fucking clown, this isn’t ever going to work and you can’t have her.” He stepped forward and put the gun to Pennywise’s temple staring him down. Leila knew Mark was insane, or at least some level of it, so she wasn’t surprised that for some reason he was actually convinced of his power in this and as long as he was convinced and there was nothing to shake that (which would be hard given how stubborn he was) Mark wasn’t going to die either. 

“STOP IT!” Leila screamed, “This solves nothing! Pennywise you know how I have to live and it can’t be in a fucking cave. Humans need human interaction. Mark is….he’s not like other humans is he?” 

“No,” Pennywise replied but he didn’t seem very happy about it either. 

“Well…if that’s the case then…I mean I wasn’t like the others right and you found my purpose then what about him? Can’t he…do something for-” 

“I’m not being a bitch to a fucking clown,” Mark snapped. 

“MARK PLEASE!” Leila screamed at him, “Pennywise…is there anything I mean anything at all that you can think of that will make him useful to you because he’ll do it.” 

“I am not-” 

“YES YOU FUCKING ARE MARK BECAUSE I’M NOT LIVING THIS WAY!” Leila screamed at him before he could finish. She looked back at Pennywise, moving in to stroke his hair gently, hoping beyond hope that it might soothe him just enough to calm him down. “Please…is there anything he can do…we can do, to make this work?” She begged. He started to growl, that odd purring growl that seemed angry as much as it did pleased. Mark stood his ground, unflinching, gun raised, and poised to fight if he had to. After a moment, Pennywise took a few steps back and started to relax. His growl becoming a laugh. 

“Oh yes…there are things…many…many things…” He laughed, “Just you wait and see….” 

Chapter Twenty

“I know what he wants me to do I am just not sure why.” Mark said, looking across the breakfast table at her. A few days had passed and Leila wasn’t exactly privy to what Mark’s purpose was. She hadn’t been clued into it and she knew that there had been some extensive time spent in the deadlights for Mark. She could only assume what was being done in there was some sort of explanation to what Pennywise wanted him for. He seemed to know it well, but he hadn’t said much about it. At first, she figured that he would just tell her when he was ready but he hadn’t. He also hadn’t really left the penthouse, not yet. Eventually, it became maddening enough that she had to ask and so that’s what she’d done over breakfast. 

“Does it matter?” She asked, “You agreeing to do it, eventually, got us out of there. He’s also left us alone for a few days and honestly, I needed the peace and quiet.” 

“It’s not going to be that way for long if I don’t do what he requested.” Mark sighed and finished his last few bites of food. He set his fork down then reached for his cup of coffee. “You know…I was thinking something.” 

“And what is that?” She asked after a moment. She grabbed the plates from the table and started to walk them into the kitchen to set in the sink. 

“The whole reason I’m in this mess in the first place it that I decided to join John Kramer and do what he wanted instead of saying no.” He replied. She turned to look at him and couldn’t deny that he had a point on that. “This situation is very much the same except he’s some kind of demonic clown, but to protect you once again, to keep you safe, I have to listen. Do you really want to go down this path again?” 

“How bad is it?” She asked. It was apparent that it would be bad though, there was no way that Pennywise wanted anything less than that. Whatever this task was, it was something he either couldn’t do on his own or even possibly wanted Mark to do in order to prove some kind or loyalty, use, or skill. Possibly all three of those things. Could even be a fourth that she hadn’t considered because Pennywise wasn’t really all that he ever seemed to be. She was still trying to get used to that giant spider form that he had. His true form. At least, more true to what he was than just a clown. 

“Have to kill a bunch of people,” He said. 

“No offense, you never really had a problem with that before.” She said. 

“Those people were criminals, all of them.” He replied and took another sip of his coffee, “These people really aren’t. Not sure how I justify that.” 

“You killed a bunch of people to get to Jill Tuck.” She said. 

“True, but Jill tried to kill me and I wasn’t going to let her get away with that. Also, one of the guys I killed put me in a position to get caught and I just plain didn’t like him.” He said, chuckling darkly right after. “The point is that the reasons those people died, criminals or not, I had a personal agenda. I agree, completely, that it wasn’t the best thing to do or even a good idea but I did have my own reasons.” 

“What you’re saying is when you have a motive or personal vendetta, it doesn’t matter?” She asked and came back to the table to sit down. 

“I’m saying that these people he wants killed they….” He leaned in and opened his mouth to speak when Pennywise appeared right behind her. She wouldn’t have even known had she not heard the jingle of his bells as he did and Mark hadn’t reacted to it. He wasn’t afraid he just suddenly stopped talking and looked slightly upwards like someone was there. 

“This is a dangerous path to walk…yes…I would say maybe do not tell her.” Pennywise insisted, starting to stroke her hair very possessively, like he had done many times before. She didn’t bother to try to stop it either. She’d gotten used to it. 

“Why can’t he tell me?” Leila asked, “Does it matter? I mean, he already told me the part where he has to kill people for you. Who are these people and why does it matter?” 

“It matters, he will do it, and he will do it before you…well you don’t need to know.” He insisted, grabbing her hair tightly. She looked at Mark who didn’t look very happy about this. He finished his last few sips of coffee then got up to walk the mug over to the sink where he set it down. He turned back to look at the two of them and shook his head. 

“What if I refuse?” Mark asked. 

“Then you know the consequences.” Pennywise told him. 

“Yeah and what if I’m willing to take them?” He asked. 

“Mark don’t be difficult.” Leila replied. 

“Are you going to sit there, as an FBI agent, and tell me it’s okay to just do this because some clown monster you are fucking told me to?” He asked, “The reason why he wants this is that these are the 7 people that can-” Before he could finish that thought, he collapsed to the ground like a sack of bricks. 

“MARK!” She stood up quickly, getting a bunch of hair yanked out in the process. She screamed out in pain and turned to look at Pennywise, “What did you do?” 

“He is fine just…took a nap.” Pennywise said with a giggle and shake of his head, “He will do what I want and he will do it without question or I get rid of him.” 

“As much as I don’t want that and you know that, he doesn’t care. You don’t know him. When he gets like this he-” 

“Then he will die.” Pennywise snarled. “I can eat him now if it would be easier.” 

“I don’t think you will.” Leila said, trying to call his bluff. He snorted angrily at her then stomped his foot before storming over to Mark and easily picking him up by the collar of his shirt. Leila stood there, feeling the fear wash over her. Still, she stayed silent and folded her arms over her chest. She wasn’t going to get anywhere with this if she started begging and pleading. If she gave in. Though she was terrified that she was wrong about what she thought, she didn’t want him to know. She pushed this idea as hard as she could, this false confidence. Not wavering, not crying, she just stayed silent. Pennywise glared at her intensely for a moment before his eyes rolled back in his head and his jaw started to open, unhinging enough to be able to fit Mark’s head entirely in there. 

Her heart started to pound in her throat, she felt sick, terrified, but she wouldn’t allow herself to move. He had to be joking? Right? Like when he held her over his giant mouth threatening to swallow her whole. He knew what Mark meant to her. He knew what would happen to her if he ate Mark. As much as she was sure he didn’t have any loyalty to the guy or even really like him, she was trying very hard to convince herself that her connection to Mark would mean just enough that it would prevent anything from happening. Pennywise began to move Mark closer to his giant, gaping, fang filled mouth before suddenly letting out a weird pained cry and dropping him without warning. He fell again. Leila gasped and backed up, not sure what had happened. 

Pennywise’s jaw shifted back into place quickly, his entire face reforming back to how it normally looked as he stepped away as well. Not just back from where Mark had fallen but from where she stood as well. His eyes wide, he seemed to tremble slightly, moving a hand over his heart. At least, where his heart would have been if his anatomy was completely human. He looked surprised but also hurt in some capacity and this was shocking to her. He’d never looked like he had a human emotion in his life, or at least, in the time period she had known him. After a moment, he cocked his head to the side and took a slow step towards her. She stepped towards him and he backed up quickly. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, “Pennywise?” 

“What did you do?” He asked, “How?” 

“Uh well…I’m not sure what you mean, you might have to explain yourself more than-” 

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” He roared, his voice loud enough that it seemed to shatter her ear drums and vibrate her brain. She was vaguely aware of a framed picture falling from the wall behind her and crashing to the ground which made her jump. 

“I don’t know…” She breathed, because she didn’t really know what had happened other than he suddenly looked afraid and dropped Mark. He snarled at her coming towards her quickly like he was going to grab her but then suddenly vanished into thin air. She yelped, her heart still pounding in her chest like it was trying to leap out of her throat. She looked around, but he wasn’t there. Either that or she couldn’t see him if he was. She hurried to get down by Mark, trying to rouse him gently by rubbing her knuckles over his chest which was something that would wake up just about anyone if they weren’t in a coma. It worked and he reached up to slap her hand away pretty violently with a groan. 

“The fuck happened?” He muttered. 

“Pennywise decided you needed a nap to shut you up.” She told him, then reached for his hand so she could help him to his feet as she got back up. “Then he threatened to eat you, I tried to call his bluff and didn’t do anything to stop it. Suddenly, just as he was unhinging his jaw he dropped you and got very upset. Looked kind of scared but surprised as well.” 

“Huh,” Mark said, “Anyway what I was going to say was-” 

“Do you really think that’s wise?” Leila cut him off. 

“He fucked off back to his nest or wherever the fuck he goes when he leaves why do I give a shit? He’s not here now is he?” Mark asked, motioning around the general area before leaning against the counter. 

“No, but he wasn’t here before when you started to-” 

“These seven people know how to kill him.” Mark said, “There I said it, that’s why he wants me to take them out.” 

“What?” She whispered, “But…how? And if they know this why haven’t they-” 

“For one, I don’t know, but for two he doesn’t even really seem to know how they know. I’m not even sure these people know, but he’s very insistent.” Mark replied moving to the sink where he started to wash the dishes. She stepped up behind him and looked around. It did make sense to her that Pennywise would want to get rid of anything that could be considered a threat to him and his life but she was wondering how he had decided that this was the case in the first place. Obviously, he was very wise and ancient, she didn’t doubt he had made a mistake. Seemed very unlikely that he’d get something like that wrong. However, if there were people that knew how to do this then that definitely meant it was possible. “That’s why I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” 

“Mark, we can’t just kill him.” Leila whispered. 

“Why?” He asked, “You think that thing deserves to live?” 

“I…I mean I don’t really know.” She said and backed away from him. Moving to the cabinet she pulled down a bottle of vodka and opened it up. She took a few gulps and closed it again. “Tell me, if suddenly I don’t know, bears all got far more intelligent and sentient and started to hunt us. What would we do?” 

“As unlikely as that is…” Mark said and looked at her before going back to the dishes, “I wouldn’t say humans shouldn’t fight them. Then again, bears aren’t also demons that look like clowns or giant spiders.” 

“Fair enough.” She said then opened the bottle again. She took one more gulp and closed it before putting it back in the cabinet. It was too early to be drinking anything that hard and she was sure that she shouldn’t. “But look at it from his point of view. He somehow crash landed here, he’s more powerful than all of us and we are his food. It’s not like we don’t do this to smaller, weaker, and dumber animals than us all the time.” 

“Cows kill a hundred people a year on average so I wouldn’t exactly say weaker…” Mark laughed. 

“Dumber though.” Leila replied. 

“That doesn’t exactly make us right, though.” He said, “It makes us-” 

“Survivors?” Leila asked, “So we are to condemn him for following his nature but justify our own? What sense does that make?” 

“You’re starting to sound like John you know.” Mark warned her. 

“No, I’m just being logical.” She sighed. “I know it’s unlike me to defend something like this but he isn’t human therefore, to judge him by human standards doesn’t make sense. You can’t judge a fish by the standards of a gorilla. You can’t judge a bird by the standards of a horse. You have to take each one as they are and compare them to others in their own league. Trying to put a human label on something that isn’t human, is that fair?” 

“Since when did you care about anything fair when it comes to-” 

“Is it fair?” She asked, “Is it fair that you were compared to some kind of monster when you knew exactly what you were doing? Huh? When none of those people were innocent, when you had a reason. Was it unfair for them to label you as insane just because they didn’t take time to understand what you were doing or why you were doing it?” 

“I did it to protect you, at least at first, then by the end yeah…kind of got personal.” He said. “I still don’t get what your point is.” 

“My point is that you want to be excused for your behavior on the basis that it was not only protecting me, but somehow, in a roundabout way, self defense because Jill tried to kill you and that other guy outed you.” She said. 


“And what Pennywise is doing is trying to protect me by protecting himself and his own self interests.” She said, “He’s also not human, as I already pointed out. Now, if you want to be forgiven for your own transgressions even though they are very similar to his, why should we allow this?” 

“He doesn’t care about you, Leila,” Mark sighed, “You said yourself that…well he’s not human. What are his emotions? Does he have any? If so, how can you compare him to that by human standards?” She stopped and thought for a moment, trying to figure out anything she could tell him that would convince him, even though she had no actual clue why she was trying to defend Pennywise instead of side with Mark. It greatly intrigued her that there may be some actual solution to this thing and there were people outside of them that knew what it was. That knew how to kill IT. At the same time, though, if she liked it or not she now definitely had some kind of loyalty to Pennywise and didn’t want him to die more than she did. It was almost impossible for her to stop herself from defending him even if every last fiber of her being screamed that she needed to stop. 

“He does care,” She said, “In the weird way that his species can and him and I are connected I think he’s starting to feel my emotions if he likes that or not.” 

“Now that’s just insane,” Mark said, “You think that he somehow-” 

“Imagine if you went through your entire life not experiencing love, fear, sadness, any sort of emotion. Then one day, suddenly, a switch was flipped and you could feel all of it. You were suddenly in love with the girl you’ve been fucking for the past few years, you suddenly have a sense of mortality and fear your own death, that you are sad when someone that is close to you gets hurt. That in an instant you understand all of this. What would you do?” She asked him. 

“Probably go insane, pretty sure to some level it would even piss me off.” He shrugged. 

“Okay, does that not explain a shit ton of his behavior?” She asked, “When he first brought me down to his nest I taunted him about falling in love with me and he put me in the deadlights to shut me up. Just now, even though I really can’t prove it, I think he genuinely felt my fear that he might eat you. That it got intense enough it crossed whatever barrier that he had up before that it shook him.” 

“You really think this is working?” He asked, though he sounded exasperated by the conversation even though there was some level of intrigue behind it as well. To be fair, she was frustrated and tired too. She’d been working for what seemed like eons to get along with a monster and it took so much energy. “Fine but even if he can gain some understanding into what you feel, it’s probably only going to be you and his behavior will still continue to be almost entirely self serving otherwise.” 

“Not true because if that was the case you’d be dead.” She said, “There’s something to this and as much as you didn’t really want to join John you cannot tell me everything you learned about human behavior wasn’t fascinating. It made you borderline psychic didn’t it?” 

“Fair,” he said, “Actually humans are pretty damn boring and predictable now. Could probably even tell you what Rika’s doing at any given moment.” 

“That’s an achievement,” She laughed softly, “Because if either of us know anyone who’s a wild card it’s her.” 

“Right, but I still don’t get-” 

“You are at the top of your game with humans, you have a chance to study him now, be with him, harness a power you couldn’t possibly have on your own. Continue doing whatever you want to do and the only price you have to pay is…helping him maintain his hold on this planet to the level he already has it.” She said, “I’m aware why you’d resent him, hate him even, be jealous but you weren’t here Mark. I had to make a choice myself. I had to sacrifice something myself to get where I am but now that I am here now that I have this connection with him I can’t really say I hate it. There’s something different, there’s…power.” 

“Really?” He asked, “Power, he gave you power?” 

“Yes,” She said, “Not that he’s very helpful explaining it but he has alluded to it and I’ve seen it somewhat myself already. You are an apex predator to humans and I know you like that, don’t you?” 

“I really do.” He laughed, “As horrible as that is.” 

“You align with him you’ll be completely unstoppable.” She said, “Give him a reason to need you, give him a reason to value you, and you level up. You will be with me, not with the rest of them. You will achieve a status that others on this earth could never hope to achieve. You’ll win and your legacy will be epic.” The more she spoke the more excited she got even with some subconscious idea that this was wrong, yet at the same time, was it? She had changed, she was different, she could do things she’d never done before. She could manipulate her own form to some extent. Control how people saw her. Control what they saw. She harnessed the energy of a monster who was helpless to her because of what she had and the feeling was unmatched by anything she’d ever felt before. She’d experienced life and death, power and failure, pleasure and agony. She had everything, and though she didn’t intend to use it for evil, the knowledge that she could was very nearly orgasmic. She knew, with how Mark was, his history, he should want it to. 

“We could be together, forever,” He said, “Me and you…make up for lost time. Do everything we ever wanted and more.” She smiled and he stepped towards her pulling her into his arms as he looked down into her eyes. 

“Until the end of time, we will flourish and we will be in control,” She said, reaching up to trace her index finger over his lips slowly, “Does anything really matter as long as we have each other? We can weather any storm and we know that now. We are survivors Mark. Nothing can stop us now.” 

“And nothing…ever will.” He whispered before pulling her into a hungry kiss. 

Chapter Twenty One

Mark had left to take care of the tasks that he had been assigned from Pennywise. Leila was a bit worried about this. Mostly because she knew how Mark was and he didn’t like taking orders from anyone. Though she had faith in the idea that maybe he was interested in partnering with an apex predator at the same time, Mark had always been the kind of guy who wanted to be the apex predator. He kind of was until Pennywise came alone and she had to deal with that. She knew all of his stories, she knew about all of his kills. She knew everything there was to know about him even if he hadn’t told her. This was mostly due to her job and the fact that she had been suspected for a long while of being an accomplice herself. It allowed her access to evidence that she’d never have seen otherwise. 

Pennywise had been scarce as well, over the past few days. It only concerned her because of the fact that she feared if Mark made one wrong step then he’d be eaten alive. That and the whole thing about being a mother. Pennywise wanting to breed her. Had that really happened? Had he meant that? Was she pregnant? Or was he just preparing her to become pregnant? It was hard to tell. It was tempting to take a pregnancy test to figure it out but at the same time, she kind of didn’t want to know if she was carrying the baby of a monster, or egg, or however that was supposed to work when it came to his species and her own. All of this, plus having to go into work and keep up appearances, had left her exhausted. So much so, that after dinner one night she ended up dozing off on the couch while trying to watch a documentary on the mating habits of tarantulas. 

What woke her next was a loud crash and shattering of glass in her kitchen. She yelped as she jolted upright then immediately noticed something was kind of off. It was namely that her stomach was swollen like she was eight or nine months pregnant. She screamed and struggled to get to her feet which wasn’t easy in that condition. She turned to look into her kitchen to see Pennywise standing there on the counter, it looked like he had kicked a bunch of dishes onto the floor for no reason other than he wanted to. He looked very pleased with himself, in any case. She glared at him and headed in his direction. 

“What did you do to me? I told you I didn’t want children.” She insisted, “Especially because you’d probably only eat them.” 

“I would not consume my own offspring…pet.” He told her and hopped down from the counter in an oddly graceful way despite his size. She took a few steps back, but he was faster. He grabbed her and put his hand on her swollen belly. This seemed to wake up whatever was inside of her and she felt something start to squirm. It disgusted her more than it made her feel happy. She had never even wanted a human child so this was something that she desired even less than that. “Can’t you feel it….really feel it, pet?” 

“Yes and I don’t…I don’t like this get it out of me!” She snapped at him. He laughed maniacally and picked her up in his arms. She considered screaming or struggling, but she was aware that there was no actual point in doing that. If he wanted to take her somewhere, he’d take her somewhere, and that would be the end of it. “Where’s Mark?” 

“Busy…busy busy little worker bee…” Pennywise sang happily, heading for the stairs, “He is doing a good job that one, yes, made a good choice. Your mate selection is admirable given the disadvantage of having to choose from…other humans.” 

“Thank…you?” She asked not really sure how to respond to that. It seemed like he was attempting to compliment Mark while insulting him at the same time. They made it to her bedroom where she was tossed onto the bed as easily as if she were just a toy. He scrambled on top of her quickly and she gasped, only managing to scramble back a bit before he had her pinned. His hands back on her belly, rubbing it, squeezing it in a way that was oddly soothing and almost sensual. 

“I do like this look on you, yes…very much…my little breeder.” He purred. 

“I don’t…this isn’t even possible.” She muttered closing her eyes. This had to be a trick. It couldn’t have happened in the blink of an eye, right? That’s not how humans biology worked, was it? The problem was that she knew due to all of the repairs he had been making she was at least partially him now, or something. He seemed to imply that they had merged in some way and maybe she wasn’t entirely human. She definitely knew she had powers, probably, but he didn’t want to seem to explain those either. It was only in small glimpses had she seen her ability to do anything. Most of it was to change perception, especially in Mark, so that he had been able to see Pennywise. She’d protected him somehow. It was something she knew she should be putting more consideration into, practicing, but she hadn’t. She made a mental note to stop ignoring that and try to get to the bottom of it. 

“You want me to take them then?” He asked. 

“Take them? Wait…THEM?” 

“Oh yes…quite a few…you are a good breeder so fertile…” He purred starting to nuzzle his face over her belly next. She could still feel the squirming of whatever was inside of her and she couldn’t help but picture a bunch of snakes or rather tentacle like things, for some reason. Close to the appendages that constantly fucked her. She didn’t like the idea at all but she didn’t think what he was saying made sense. 

“Stop this I don’t want children, offspring, or any more of you. One is more than enough.” She told him, reaching down to pat his head gently. He looked up at her, snarled, and moved to snap at her hand with his fanged mouth. She squealed and pulled it back quickly. He crawled over her, getting in her face, copious amounts of drool dripping onto her skin. She cringed softly. His hand grabbed her chin tightly and she was forced to look up at him. 

“So ungrateful…” He snarled. She felt a stabbing pain through her abdomen and he vanished a moment after that. She blinked a few times to see that her belly had gone back to how it had been before. She wasn’t pregnant, she didn’t know what that was about, but she could only assume it had been a dream. At least, that’s what she really…really hoped it was, because there was no way she wanted to give birth to a dozen demon clown babies. She was pretty sure she’d rather be eaten by Pennywise first. 


There was another two days of silence before Mark came back. He looked just as normal as he ever did like nothing had even happened. Except, she did know something had happened because she knew what he’d been sent to do. There were seven of them. They had to be taken care of and it was some kind of loyalty or skill test. Maybe both. She still wasn’t clear on it. She had hoped that Mark had been talked out of doing anything stupid but it was hard to tell. He smiled at her when he came in and pulled his gun out to show it to her. 

“What?” She asked, wondering if she should tell him about the weird occurrence with her stomach or pregnancy or whatever that had been a few days ago. She stepped out of the kitchen and came over to pull him into a hug. He hugged her back then kissed her on top of the head. 

“Want to show you something. Where is that thing?” He asked. 

“Mark…” She warned, “Please don’t do anything stupid.” 

“Oh don’t worry I won’t.” He grinned. “This gun, it kills clowns.” 

“I’m sorry but…what are you talking about?” She looked at his gun and it looked just like any other gun that he’d ever carried around. Nothing really special about it, nothing different. How he had decided that it was a gun that killed clowns, by which he surely meant the type that Pennywise was, she didn’t know. He probably gathered this idea or got this gun over the days that he’d been gone and that was probably why it had taken so long. Other than that, she couldn’t fathom a guess as to what he was talking about. 

“Where is it?” He asked, “PENNYWISE!” 

“Mark that’s not going to wo-” She was cut off from speaking when she sensed that he had appeared right behind her. She didn’t even have to turn to look, because a moment later he pulled her close to him. It was half way as if she were a shield and half way as if he was trying to protect her somehow. 

“How low can you get?” Mark asked him, “Using your mate to shield you.” 

“Don’t even think about-” 

“About what?” Mark asked and raised the gun confidently aiming it right between Pennywise’s eyes. “This gun can kill you.” 

“Kill me? Kill MEEEEE?” Pennywise taunted, yet he was still trying to back up and pulling her with him. It was like nothing she’d ever seen him do before, it was a fear response. This time the only difference was that he was afraid on his own and it wasn’t something that she had induced in him like when she feared he would actually eat Mark’s head. Not only could she sense this she could feel it in his chest. His heart pounding almost as if he were a frightened rabbit. “I am the eater of worlds you…you cannot…fathom my-” 

“Really?” Mark cut him off and took a confident step forward which made him take another step back. 

“Mark stop it.” Leila warned, “This isn’t what-” 

“I know this isn’t what we agreed on but then I thought about it, really thought about it, and I decided that I’m in charge here. Not him.” Mark said, “If that’s the case then he has to know about my powers.” 

“This is ridiculous can’t you just-” 

“LEILA!” He snapped, “This is…are you really trying to defend this thing? What IT does? What IT did to you? To me? To Rika? You just want to be a pet to some giant spider freak with a pumpkin head?” 

“PUMPKIN!” Pennywise shrieked. 

“Oh shut up.” Mark hissed, “No, this isn’t going to be how it happens and if she was even half way sane she’d know exactly why it’s not going to happen this way so…this gun you know it can kill you, isn’t that right?” 

“Pathetic human you can’t-” 

He was cut off again when Mark took another step forward which seemed to startle him enough that as he jumped back he stumbled and let go of her entirely, scrambling back and away from her like a cat who had just been sprayed with water. Mark reached forward, grabbed her, and pulled her close to him. 

“It can kill him, Leila.” Mark repeated, “We are going to leave and he’s not going to follow us.” 

“Mark…” Leila said, “I don’t think that’s even possible seeing as how-” 

“HE’S NOT GOING TO FOLLOW!” Mark roared, it was loud enough to make her wince. She knew he was right, that if she hadn’t been through all of this crazy shit with Pennywise she’d be thinking different. Not only had it just been her, not really because she could take it, it had been Rika. It had nearly been him as well. She knew that she wasn’t that person. She knew that she couldn’t just stop her life and let it revolve around this psychopathic monster who didn’t understand humans. The only problem was that they were connected and despite trying her hardest she knew she had feelings for that thing. Maybe if she could just get away, maybe if she had time to herself she could understand right from wrong again and stop this madness. 

“You cannot keep me from my mate, human, we had a deal.” Pennywise hissed at him. “I will follow no matter what you-” 

“Wanna bet?” Mark growled and took a shot at him hitting him in the leg. Leila screamed at the loud, sudden noise, and was absolutely shocked when the bullet hit and seemed to shatter his leg entirely. It wasn’t like a human being shot, not even close. The entire leg fragmented and broke a part as if it was as fragile as ceramic. The weird, howling sob that came from Pennywise next, was nearly heartbreaking and then he just…vanished. Leila turned to look at Mark, her ears still ringing and her heart pounding in her throat as she tried to comprehend how he’d done that in the first place. She looked at the gun he was holding in his hand. 

“How?” She whispered. 

“I told you, it kills clowns.” He repeated again, “Well, in this case wounds them, wanted to give him a warning in any case.” 

“Do you really think that’s going to put him in your good graces?” She snapped, “It’s just going to make him-” 

“He can either realize that he doesn’t have all the power and we can work together as a group or he can challenge me again.” Mark snapped at her, “Now, I don’t know how long it takes that jackass to heal so we need to leave.” 

“And go where, exactly? As soon as he does heal-” 

“I have an idea, just trust me, okay? We can make this work for all of us if he learns that maybe sometimes there are just some humans you don’t fuck with.” Mark said, “Pack some stuff I have a jet waiting.” She stared at him, one of her hands going to her ear to try to get it to stop ringing. She wasn’t sure she had a choice. Had Mark wanted to kill Pennywise he’d have done it. There was no way hitting him only in the leg was a mistake. She was thinking that maybe it was possible he was right but she still didn’t understand why this gun worked when it seemed like nothing else could stop him before. She had to go with him, she had to get out of this penthouse and to somewhere peaceful, quiet. She had to clear her head and come up with a plan. They had to come up with a plan. None of this was going to work if they didn’t figure it out as a group. That was the one thing she did know. 


Normally, Mark wouldn’t have been able to do jack shit to arrange her company jet to go anywhere. It was only when they arrived at the private hangar that she realized he’d somehow talked Rika into helping him. More than likely because it it had to do with helping her. Not that they’d hated each other when he’d been around originally but Rika hadn’t exactly been happy about learning what Mark was and what he had done. Still, it was better that she helped with this than did nothing at all, it just left them on a plane together for fourteen hours to get to Japan which was apparently where they were going. To her estate. Well, technically it belonged to her parents and she owned it. She didn’t go there much, just had a team of people hired to take care of the place, watch the grounds, and Rika used it on occasion when she wanted to entertain or impress clients. 

Both of them ended up sleeping for most of the trip, that was after Rika lectured her for a long while about how fucked up the situation was. She just let it happen because she didn’t think Rika was wrong either. Mark had gotten himself drunk way before he could explain how the gun trick worked and then passed out, she joined him in sleeping shortly after that and by the time the plane did touch down they were both in better moods and better rested. It was when they arrived at her estate that she wasn’t going to let him get away with avoiding the topic of conversation anymore. 

“You need to tell me how the gun worked.” Leila said, as they entered the master bedroom which was now her bedroom. She’d had it entirely redecorated since her parents died so it wouldn’t be weird to stay in, even if she wasn’t there most of the time. 

“Because I believed it would.” Mark said. 

“Really? You expect me to buy that? I mean out of all the things you could say-” 

“That’s all it is.” Mark said, “I noticed it before, kind of, when I first confronted him. This was back when he took you into that cave and I had no idea where you were. Then, when I went after his first victim…Eddie something or other because he was in New York well…that was interesting. You’d find him fascinating from a psychological standpoint.” 

“All of that aside,” Leila said even though she was kind of now curious as to why Mark would say anything like that, “He told you this too?” 

“Kind of.” Mark said, “At first he didn’t really even know what I was talking about. I mean, I thought he was lying but he was genuinely confused as hell. Nearly crapped his pants. Then he actually passed out when something switched on in his brain about this clown guy.” 

“Really?” She asked, “How does he-” 

“I guess as kids…they knew him as kids.” Mark said, “There was a conference call because I insisted he do it. In any case the general consensus…guy named Mike…was that the power of belief or some crap could defeat him which-” 

“I’m sure you didn’t believe.” Leila chuckled softly. 

“Not at first but like I said I noticed it, the first time.” He replied. Considering that Mark had been a student of John Kramer and his whole thing was about human nature and observation, she knew that any sort of body language or reaction from Pennywise wouldn’t have gone unnoticed. Maybe at the time, Mark wouldn’t have understood it, but he’d have seen it. The only possible reason he was still alive was his observational skills making him borderline psychic. 

“What did you notice?” She asked. 

“He asked me what I had,” He said, “It was the gun and so I said it was my gun that killed clowns. I said it seriously but it was more meant as some kind of dry humor or sarcasm and I’m guessing in his world no one ever explained what that was. He got a bit…startled. I didn’t know why but it didn’t seem to work for long probably because I knew I was just messing around and I lost control of the situation.” 

“So your belief that this gun can shoot him that’s how he got hurt? But you’re telling me and if I know it than he-” 

“Doesn’t matter as long as I truly believe it and I truly, one hundred percent believe, that gun can kill him. Any gun in my hands can kill him. I have the absolute power in my hands to control that fucking clown and I dare him to shake that belief. If he could have, he already would, and that’s how we are going to work things out.” He insisted. Mark’s confidence had always been to the level that he was displaying now. His insistence on being right, never failing, winning everything and beating everyone. He’d been this way before Pennywise to a high level and it didn’t surprise her that he was doing this now. Though she questioned in a lot of ways how true his belief might be that an ordinary gun could kill Pennywise, what she didn’t question was his belief that he could win this as stupid as it was. Mark would truly believe it because he was more insane than he had been when they’d last parted ways and he more than likely was right. This would be the key to controlling the beast and working a deal. That was….if Pennywise ever dared to come back in the first place. She really, really hoped he would even though she damn well knew that wasn’t something she should ever want in the first place. 

Chapter Twenty Two

The first few nights without Pennywise were pretty hard. She couldn’t sleep at all and then she couldn’t stop having nightmares. It was the lack of him that was driving her crazy. She couldn’t even feel his presence. Though at times when she was in her penthouse there were times that she was physically alone she always felt something. Connected, protected, warm and safe. This was her own estate, she’d grown up there, but she didn’t feel right. It was as if she was in withdrawal from an addictive drug she’d been on. More powerful than she’d ever felt or taken before. She wanted it back desperately. It left a hole in her heart, a void in her soul. She barely got out of bed, ate, or did anything but lay around and hope to fall back asleep. The fact that she craved this demonic thing, that she believed she was in love with him and needed him to live, did bother her. She was aware it was a problem but she wasn’t sure she cared. 

After a week had passed with her doing nearly nothing other than laying in bed, barely even getting up to shower, Rika came in to give her some food but this time she didn’t leave immediately. She sat down and looked right at her. Rika had tried this the first few days but she had been so vicious and hateful about this Rika gave up. It seemed like she was done with the patience of giving the benefit of the doubt and ready for a confrontation. Leila stared at her and started to eat, having to force down every bite because nothing even tasted good anymore. She was craving something else but it wasn’t something tangible. Something she couldn’t describe, and it seemed that nothing tasted like what her brain was telling her to go get. 

“This needs to stop,” Rika said, “This isn’t you, anywhere near you. You’ve changed too much and we need to get you back.” 

“I don’t want to come back.” Leila muttered, “I want him.” 

“You want that thing? You have Mark after ten years you have Mark and you can only sit here pining for that what was it, Spider monster?” Rika snapped. 

“He’s not a monster he’s….beautiful. You don’t get it.” She said shoving more food into her mouth chewing and forcing herself to swallow. She reached for the glass of juice that had been set down on the nightstand. “Mark killed it.” 

“LEILA!” Rika screamed, “Mark was…is your everything. He’s probably the only reason you survived the clown you can’t do this to him and I especially won’t let you do it to me. Get up. Now. Out of bed.” 

“No, I’m hungry.” She growled. 

“You’re eating, finish then get up.” Rika told her, “I’m not leaving until you shower and…do whatever it is not to look like that.” 

“What?” Leila asked. 

“The clown you look like the clown.” She sighed. 

“I do?” She asked. To be fair, she hadn’t really bothered to get up and do much of anything, go to the bathroom, yes, but her bathroom was so large she didn’t really have to look in the mirror when she did. If she was brushing her teeth she stayed in the dark, didn’t pay attention to much of anything. Didn’t want to. It was more of a case of doing things to get them done than wanting to do them. 

“Yes, which I don’t even understand because there’s no makeup anywhere. Not on the pillows, sheets, your clothes…it’s freaky.” Rika said, “You know, out of all people I’ll support almost any type of perversion you can name if it’s legal but I cannot support you living like this because it’s not actually living.” 

“It’s my skin…it came back.” She got up shoving the food aside and hurrying towards the bathroom. She turned on the lights that time and rushed to the sink looking into the mirror. “It’s back.” 

“The hell are you talking about, you’ve looked like this the whole time you’ve been here.” Rika told her, “It’s why neither of us are trying that hard to get you to go out.” 

“No I haven’t he took it away, he took it away when he died.” She insisted. 

“First of all, from what Mark said, he didn’t die he just shattered his leg or something with the clown gun.” Rika replied, “Secondly, he’s supposed to come back I guess, I mean in theory. That’s what Mark was banking on. Finally, you have absolutely looked like this since we brought you here. You didn’t see it?” 

“No,” She whispered, running her fingers over her face. No matter what she did, it wasn’t going away. Her hair was fiery, bright orange. Her eyes yellow. Skin snow white. Lips blood red. She grinned, starting to make faces in the mirror. Testing out expressions, until she managed to manipulate her lips and chin into a grin that was very similar to his. 

“STOP THAT!” Rika yelled at her. “Leila! For fuck’s sake! YOU NEED TO STOP THIS!” She sensed Rika approaching her from behind and smelled something. It was strong, not just strong but appetizing. The one thing that she had been craving for the entire week and it was feeding her it was making her feel better. She turned and snarled, making some sort of demonic animal noise that she’d never heard herself make in her life. Her hand shot out as she grabbed Rika by the throat and lifted her with strength she’d never had before. 

“Fear…” She growled, starting to drool profusely. Rika was kicking and struggling in her grasp and though she was vaguely aware that this was wrong…it felt entirely too right. She couldn’t stop herself. She felt like the only thing that could ever satisfy the hunger that had over taken her was the flesh of the woman she was currently holding in her hands. She opened her mouth in preparation to take a bite before she was suddenly and viciously tackled to the bathroom floor. The initial blow being startling enough to cause her to release Rika as she fell. She let out a demonic shriek, twisting and writhing under the heavy body that dared to keep her from her meal. “LET ME GO!” 

“LEILA SNAP THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF IT!” Mark roared at her slapping her across the face. The blow somehow echoing through her skull. A loud snap that seemed to fill her ears, causing some massive flash of white to explode in her field of vision. “THAT’S RIKA! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” His voice seemed everywhere and nowhere at once until she was met with silence entirely. Silence, peace, calm, and light. Bright white light. 


When her vision cleared, when things started to make sense and come back around her, her senses clearing and everything becoming clear once more she instantly realized where she was. In the deadlights. How? When had this even happened? Where had she been before this? Her memory was blanked out. She definitely remembered heading to Japan with Mark and Rika. She remembered Mark hurting Pennywise and fighting him off. Then she kind of remembered going to sleep for a week. Her head hurt like crazy as she forced herself to stand up from where she was laying. It was a horse stable from her childhood, at least that’s where she’d been placed. Equestrian uniform and everything. Why Pennywise had chosen this place she had no idea, but it was one of her favorite places to spend time when she was younger. 

“Pennywise?” She called, brushing off the dust from her chaps. She took a few steps down the hallway where the stalls were, passing the horses and looking around. “Pennywise? Are you back? Did you come back? Where are you? What’s going on?” 

She kept moving down what seemed like an impossibly long hallway until she got to the door that would lead to the exit. She opened it to a field and the same scenery she always had remembered even if she hadn’t been to this place for nearly twenty years. She could smell the flowers, feel the heat from the sun. He was giving her a nice place to be but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why. Especially if he wasn’t going to show himself. Deciding that this would be pointless to try to search without a horse she turned around and grabbed the door to the stable, shoving it back open. He was there, standing by one of the horses, but not as the clown…as that Bob Gray thing he’d been before. This was good because it was more than likely one of the only things keeping that horse from freaking out and stomping him to death. 

“Pennywise,” She breathed and hurried towards him. She hadn’t expected to ever see him again and was overjoyed with this. He turned and took a step back from her. 

“Stay with me now,” He said, sounding considerably sad for an entity she didn’t believe could experience sadness. “Stay here, we can rest. We don’t need them we can have each other. Forever.” 

“Where am I? I mean…where did you leave my physical body?” She asked him. “Where are you?” 

“I am here this is where I live…all alone with these horses…no mate just horses.” He said. She took another step towards him carefully, this time he didn’t step back or try to avoid her. She took another step then another and put a hand on his cheek gently, looking into his eyes. 

“Pennywise I can’t just leave them and you know why.” She said softly, “I need them, but more importantly they need me.” 

“Do you? Do you need them or is it just Pennywise you need yes…the hunger you have it now.” He said. 

“What?” She replied, “I don’t understand what exactly you are talking about. Just, take me back okay? You can come too and we’ll talk to Mark. We can work something out. It’ll be okay.” His hand came up to cover hers, the one that rested on her cheek. Oddly enough, this hand was gloved like he was in the clown costume even if the rest of him reflected the suit. 

“I just want you, us, together. We are strong together they are nothing.” He spat. Though she was hearing his words just fine her attention was also drawn to something else. The fact that he’d never actually touched her. Not with his hand. She didn’t include this form, he’d done stuff to her in this form but when he went to touch her just now he’d put on a glove. She wondered why. 

“Take off the glove.” She said. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“Touch me,” She told him, “Like I’m your equal.” 

“You are my mate you are…you…we are not equals you are mine.” He insisted. “Only mine. Not his…MINE!” As his anger grew, his tone of voice did as well, and the very last word was a nice roar. He seemed to explode out of the Bob Gray costume, or skin, however one wanted to look at it and return to the clown form that she knew best. She squealed and jumped back just a bit. Not really fear of him as much as she completely wasn’t expecting that. Once she took a moment to compose herself she was able to find her voice again to be able to speak. It felt so good to see him again put back together. Both legs, arms, everything. She smiled softly, feeling a few tears roll down her cheeks. 

“I want to be yours but they are my friends. I love them too.” She said, “And I know you know what that is now.” 

“STAY HERE!” He snarled. 

“Where is there? Where am I really? Show me. If you don’t show me then how can I possibly decide? Am I dead?” She asked him. 

“No…no…not dead no.” He said shaking his head back and fourth, unseen bells jingling from some location she couldn’t pinpoint. “In the deadlights what they would call…coma.” 

“I’m in a coma.” She replied. “How long now? Let me see.” He stepped towards her, cocking his head to the side as if he were some sort of curious puppy before pulling her into a tight hug. Well, something similar to a hug but it was more of a possessive hold, possibly some attempt to restrain her but she allowed it. She pressed her face into him, enjoying the sensation of the soft fabric. The interesting smells. The warmth of his body as it engulfed her own. When he finally did move back they were standing in a hospital room, she was laying in the bed and was indeed in a coma. She gasped, stepping over to where her body was laying, looking at the monitors she was attached to. 

“This…this is where you are.” He said. 

“How…wait…this could be a trick.” She replied, “If I’m in a coma then…Mark would be here, Rika would be here some one would-” 

“One month.” He said, “Human time.” 

“I’ve been like this for a month?” She asked. Though she didn’t doubt that was the case, or at least could be the case, if he was telling the truth that would explain why they wouldn’t be at her side every second of every day. They’d leave periodically, get on with their lives, come visit when they could. Something she understood and would want them to do. She was surprised they were keeping her on life support, though. She had a living will. The thing was that it said to pull the plug only in the event that she was absolutely brain dead, which meant whatever the readings were they were not indicating that. “How did this happen?” 

“I took you when I recovered. I took you and kept you safe from them. Hard time adjusting yes but you…you are here now so you understand. I…I was worried I think you would say. Very worried.” He breathed, “Didn’t think you could make it, would make it, didn’t think we had merged enough to try but I did not like you with him one second longer. Worth the risk.” 

“And still you won’t touch me?” She asked, motioning to his hand, “You wanted me so bad you risked my life and-” 

“My life…my life too. My whole life.” He interrupted. 

“What?” She asked. 

“Had I failed the lights they…they could go out.” He muttered, shaking his head, “The deadlights. Worth the risk. To have you with me forever. I gave you one.” 

“Gave me one?” She asked slowly, “You gave me a deadlight to bring me here?” 

“Yes a sacrifice for my mate.” He nodded, “Keep her safe.” Before she could ask about anything else the door to the hospital room opened and Mark stepped in holding a bouquet of her favorite flowers. He walked right “through” where she was standing and sat down by the bed, taking the hand of her actual body there. She watched him feeling her heart start to ache. This wasn’t right and she knew it but at the same time she didn’t want to leave Pennywise either. She heard a weird sound, an almost pained whimper and turned to look back at him. He had a hand clutching his chest. 

“You okay?” She asked. 

“We are one. I do not like…this feeling. Did not want to bring you here to see…him…” He snarled angrily. 

“Pennywise just…let me help you understand that-” 

“NO!” He roared at her, “He will never understand that one…what he has what you truly are what you have become. What I am…what I can do! My power! I aM the EatER of WORLDS!” He roared starting to grow in size rapidly. 

“PENNYWISE!” She yelled. 


“PLEASE!” She begged, reaching out and grabbing onto his leg, or at least part of the fabric that was now his giant leg. Fabric that seemed to be tearing as he struggled to hold this form and not become that spider creature she’d seen before. “Please, I just want him to be okay and if that means staying here with you…I’ll stay. I’ll stay I promise, it will just be us.” 

He cocked his large head to the side and made a curious sound. A cross between some kind of large jungle cat and puppy. She wasn’t sure how to describe it, or what it was really, just what it reminded her of. He looked down at her. She didn’t want to have to make this choice, and now that she was here she didn’t want to be the choice she made. However, she was not going to allow him to destroy the entire world, maybe the universe, because she couldn’t sacrifice herself. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few and most importantly…she didn’t hate him. She wanted to find a way to work this out but if it wasn’t possible, at least not right now, the best thing to do was keep him complacent. He shrunk back down to his usual size, which was still huge just far less building smashing and intimidating. 

“You will really stay? No tricks?” He asked. 

“No tricks.” She said, though she was mostly thinking that eventually she’d be able to talk him into reconsidering but that time wasn’t now so it was pointless to have as a possibility for the moment. What she needed to do now as agree so that’s what she was doing. He looked at her for a long moment before he reached up and removed his gloves before holding his hand out to her. It was just a normal hand, as white as the skin on his face and head but normal to human anatomy otherwise. She reached out and took it, giving it a tight squeeze. 

“We will be one. Always as one.” He whispered, pulling her in close to stroke her hair. She didn’t know where this was going to lead or what was going to happen next but she did know that this was the only choice. The right choice. As long as everyone was still alive and the world still existed there would be a chance of fixing this. She’d have been lying if she’d said she wasn’t somewhat excited or intrigued to try but she knew it couldn’t be this way forever. It wouldn’t be this way forever…but it had to be for now and she was ready to make the journey to save everything she held dear. What else could she do? He really did hold all the cards and for now it was time she recognized it before something far worse happened to Mark, Rika, and the entire history of humanity. She could only hope that Mark and Rika could figure this out, pray to give them strength. She turned her head to get a glimpse of him to hold in her mind one last time before everything blinked out and once again she only saw white.

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